TheUnabomberLet t er s AYahooNewsSpeci alSer i es Mar r i ageadvi ce f r om t heUnabomber I n2001,aSout hAf r i canmanwr ot eKaczynskit ocompl ai n aboutat echnol ogyr el at edpr obl em:hi swi f ewoul dn’ thave sexwi t hhi m becauseof“ bat t er ypower eddevi ces . ” Kaczynskicoul dn’ thel pbutr espond. Al ll et t er sanddocument sar epr oper t yof t heUni ver si t yofMi chi ganLi br ar y’ sLabadi eCol l ect i on. Thesel ect i onwascur at edbyYahooNews Theodore 04475-046 - . Admin Manimnm Facility P0 Res 350?} - - Florence? CO 81226 USA 19 August, 200i Dear Mr it has been three years since a judge sentenced you to four consecutive life terms for killing three people and maiming dozens of others. I expect for you. it feels a lot longer. As i understand it? your hatred of technology drove you to send letter bombs to people who were? in your eyes} the enemy. I think there is a little Unabomber in all of us. Just the other day my cellphone started ringing for no apparent reason. I flew into a rage and hurled it across the room, but it went through an open window and struck a passing in. the face. He lost control and ploughed into a delivery van owned by a computer shop. As it turned out. the biker worked for a company that manufacture: automated ?ling Systems that will one day make thousands of i indant. So I never lost any sleep over it. Ih'avealso had unpleasant incidents involving my CD player (settledwith a baseball bat). my digital satellite dish (shotgun) and my wife (Brenda) who refuses. to cook or have sex with me. In thisregard, i suspect that I have been replaced by one or'two battery-operated appliances. Needless to say, I have a team of lawyers standing by in case of emergencies. 14:1) I?xACleA/bl?l [Vov?mbef 5/ 2.00! To Dear- r. (?T?hank you for ypur le?fTew 01E I teem unabfe To answer i?T' M?'h?l ?raw becauge. I have beam occwpieai in preparing tit "To ?Hie SuuPreme Cour?? a?F The Uni?f?eai SfaT65. From yam. Ca infer m7 {?352 prancess has no?? ye?f' been (?cam clutdeofr yam. Seem ?f?o aSEu-me I acTua Hy 51m "Hie LJVIRECDVAEEW) 1 haw-e 7pc: That}; - P1861 To ?file Una ?90m 19 Gila-F365 lat/?5 ?I?ke resu?f 0F .acoerciom) and 'Hma'f' .1 am Cu?! rfn?l?f'y aTTe To Agave my (.914 ufcfr'on over'?atrmaa! as People Some?h'meg Plead 301 i H7 wi 1'me be Enj So Sim-Ply beams My rapr?jem'f 'Hmeir jams-f?. unjesirai?le in a given [6561/ SETuaT?an. Bu'f .no were on Sufo?jeg?r) since lawyer: {have advised me: +0 a:va "#11956 Ma'r'ri'r5 dhva?e un?f'if My legal pracess [lag Lee? Can 5 ?ied. I if; Come, 79:? +?16 Pai??r 07?: [er-reef) in yaur To me you. comp/?Mao? yaur wEFe was To have Sex maSuspicion ?Hla?r? in 'f'ha'r . - V?chird ?yam. hat-9i ?ne or 7W0 boa?! Ter7mopera7?eo? applian(e5_ I am AQPPV ?fo im+f?fm That?" you Aa'r 6i?.?p?l5rr Teahnubjy crea?res a. Probhm art/50 oFic??v?S 6? S?iu'?cm .. MS That?? some aga?f we win 62? b6 Tn e-Fyfecf: To Turn our$e(ues info machines. kmax/e w?f be abIe To If gnaw" jrx?lio ?fl/(e E?fec?l?vomi'c 9f machines :30 7"ka our Sari: 7"er (anof LAM (Lam a?oan Ef?e weird, Scihexrx'f'i's?fs i ?we om ?Jn 'f'ke mac?ines. ordinary mpg-?T?afs {the yam?? and me may 5014de ?he a juna?ch; but?? IT f5 a?cTua pi??aP05e_d7 a Seriousmess by dfs?ffnjuis Safen?iLGfS. 57:59} extzm?p?ej an QH?Fcfe by Minsky SicEeHTi-[ic Amar'i?can ma?aZF?e I remember (7716 Procedure Pro {9056;} m4 {twigs Wake ?to yaow? mafiqu Praia (emable To mm m0 (1 I ba'T?Z?ery app Nance Md 'fkev?e?y QSume having Sex wi'f'h your w; pet I {Rape ?This news ?Ears you. up a; 8951? regard?: 35> .5 assume "Hxa?l? yam. are. an Ordinary mat-1?41. .LF am Flees: arid:pr my aloogagya Mr Ted Ill-$75046 Penitentiary Matt Bus 8500 Florence. ?0 8 zza-ssuu Soul II A l?rirn l2 July. 2002 Don Tod. Thank you so much for taking the time to reply to my letter oli l" August, 2.001. It?s to believe almost an entire year has passed since then. 0n the other hand, a you you feels like a decade. I was appalled to loam that the Supreme Court had leiected your appeal. From what I can gather, your initial guilty plea was part of a deal to avoid being portrayed in count as montall ill. Or was it. a plea bargain to avoid the. death penalty? am a little cmtt?usod on the details. In your last. letter to me (November 5., 2001) you t'nontionod that you preferred not to discuss those matters until the legal process had been concluded. Can you talk about it. now? I would be most interested to hon the real story. You may recall me complaining about my marriage, and that a couple of battery-operated devices had rendered me virtually obsolete. Well, heart remains trapped in pack ice, I snSpected it might be a circulation problem and attempted to open up her veins with a rigorous slapping Well, that certainly got her blood up, if nothing else. She retrieved my stick from where I keep it hidden and set about my lower body. She only stopped when she suspected that was enjoying it. But I can assure you that I dislike a beating as much as the next man. I admit to once striking her several times in a bid to quell an outburst of hysteria, which subsequently turned out to be hay favor. However, the are similar and one is easily mistaken. I am ?om the old school and feel it is undigni?ed to beg for sex. Dinner is another matter. I can cope with the dangerous games and. petty assaults that are essential to any healthy marriage, but I am struggling to come to terms with the withdrawal of my conjugal rights. I tried approaching the Human Rights Commission for relief; but they reported me to the police. 80 not only do I spend every night celibate and hungry, but I also he awake waiting for burly thugs in camou?age to kick down the door and drag me out into the street sporting an unrequited member for all the neighbours to see. In your letter, you told me not to worry. That soon I would be able to down-load my consciousness into a battery-operated appliance and resume having sex with Brenda. For a moment, I thought you really were mad. Then 1 spotted your reference to ?Marvelous? Marvin . wl. I We .. Me a poster boy for mental health. He talks of using ?hanotechnology" to grow ?elds of micro-factories in the same way we grow trees. How nice. Just taking the dog for a walk through the micro-factories, dear. He rambles on about spawning ?mind-children" that think a million times faster than we do. On the old question, will robots inherit the earth, Minsky says: ?Yes, but they will be our children." Do the authorities know about this man? And what has he done to George W. Bush?s brain? Like you, he is a Harvard man. Can we blame Harvard? I have to go new. Minsky has made me afraid, and I am going to hide the electronic equipment before hears about nanotechnology. Looking forward to hearing from you again. Yours truly, Mr Theodore US Penitentiary -- Max PO Box 8500 Florence, CO 81226-8500 USA. 6 June, 2003 Dear Ted Even though it has been almost a year since we last ?spoke?, this is our third commumcatlon so I hope you will forgive the familiarity. I have followed your case w1th great interest and I treasure the letters that you have written to me. It was with great sadness that I. learned you had come to the end of the appeal process without being granted another hearing. No great surprise, I suppose. The odds are pretty stacked in a case like United ,Srares versus _chg}2nski . Not that you aren?t a formidable opponent. It?s just that when you see the outcome of cases like Unired there isn?t much chance of one man winning. Do politics play much of a role in the American judicial process? If the Secretary General of the United Nations can be hog-tied and locked in the broom closet on the 241?:1 ?oor while the Marine Corps sweeps the planet for ?ag-burning renegades, is there any hope for the rest of us? Even out here on the southern tip of Africa, there are those of us who live in constant fear of being crushed underfoot by the stormtroopers of democracy. We are fortunate that there is no oil in South Africa. The stuff seems to attract the worst kind of people. We have gold and diamonds. And lots of ?sh. But these commodities are quickly mined, killed and exported while the attention of the local populace is diverted to more important issues. Like whether or not we should. be made to pay for the plastic bags that are handed out at supermarkets. sends her best wishes. Well, she did until I pointed out that you had especially requested that she respect my marital rights for at least one night a week. She said us men are all the same, and then she went off to the computer to ?nd something that might change my opinion of you. All she could come up with was a garbled story about you once wanting to have a sex change so that you could enjoy what a woman had to offer without having to buy them ?owers or explain where you were until three in the morning. I told her it was a damn ?ne idea and we haven?t spoken since. In fact, I approached my medical aid with the suggestion but they turned me down with no coherent reasons given. Well, Ted, I wish I could do something to get you out of there and over here. With your intellect I have no doubt that we could convince to lower her guard and raise her skirt. I?m including a ten rand note and a photograph of the view from my porch. Find a corrupt guard and tell him that there?s much more where this comes from if he lets you go. I?ll even throw in to sweeten the deal. I hope to hear from you again. As we say out here, Vasbyt! Deffmber I41, .2003 Card MSSajcare? La.)er wt+?k lawn"! bet?msi? They have t?SijkT ya {or yam-r- mTa +l~am 5.911;st rim V107 "(154? Jaime 6) 2603. I given Tc; 7&5: prabi?m . Thug?? In FEP and pralan?jed 63* The warks ?4 Acimli?ai} L915?il-r2) :2 ?ame Narmqn Vi'?thT ?l55(0V??ng TQGT 0F Praiofern and am 53516 To 7"ng ?zz/whom . revea! ya u. "Thgucjh?f 5T??c? are: WLMT MamaMan! idtTh man canal M. 1m wava?a 5.4.. man who has hall?s) stuff In ?The ?iT'Pvaf but?" (3)59 if? Fili'quaTitve 59:156.. Jr's Wearev?n cultuwre? a. ?wamanra ha}? Tvadinlo?aHy bQEm a kr?hzth fr Skimtmj aq'mur?: caudrg?) kniah?'; 01? ?We Mid'd/F Ages were Mesa; Couvage ma. 5 wa'fck wan: Th?? :3 have Im?jv y?arne?d? a?+ew 'T'kPm. BLAT ?Nae knlak?r Shrma?j armor he.) Imager exist; ir?l ELAVOFE. $351554: Ppeare? from Jqpam.7?ke Hom?d Wt} autos; Eurasian 5' No mawe 09.065 The A-frica Si?alekamdedfy 5?53}, 6; ?am as" an El?phan?? 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A??ne Inf}: b05565 have gran??an b95595 Ma T0 SmlTe ?em? mag 791959 have ?veaTer and? infinlfum. wd'k a caP?aI .. - Tm I 4/?1?3 :37? 5 ?1 13? Raw(J7 has? replaced 70m wa?Tk cane or '7?"ch Mab?y) an 6 move- - {rum using- a, ?$er you mun riguraugly ex?ludc From. your you wiring. Them} whenevdw ku- dud e?ec'fr'n?ml house Force Submi?r' 7?22: 0! enTev-s The you muS'r any ba'f?feries. 0? course; She 8341' you, IMULST remain 10 She i5 bringing in She Win W's? howl, Slag STwic'T proTPS-Tr have Tdn'l?rums. wi? Scolw?J me? 11c you do So, wi? Mtge. a? be well: vat-t will have proved Tb you are a. Man, Ska Ska wi? bis-j you Pm? SEX. On "?ne O?T'ker hand, you To do #5 I Say} The" love you. Passioma?re/V. To 39 up To The, Ifuri who" See Cam only aduiSc wke'rke? 11? }5 51?1" FOSSEHC ?to Find? an ?Ou'l?f who has killed an I ?Fee? incline? "to wis?A you a. merry Ckra?s?rmas we: New Year) bu?l? I rehaim 11? woulc? be a. To wisln a s?fuck w?i??n a. 'Femi?nfsT For a. wife, singlekandedly elephan?f? w'i?l'k Spear. crue? mockery merry Or a. any'rhmj To a. mam WING i5 8951' regards, 731 Yum. CLOSP ?Hvxe word VQSEVTH Fran wka?f language $035 '51" Come we? wka't' does. mean PU Box 2530i) Florence CO 81226?8500 U.S.A. '15 September, 2004 Dear Ted, Several months have slipped by since I received your last letter. I would have written sooner, but it was you, after all, who suggested 1 read the works of Aristotle, Aquinas, Leibnitz, Descartes, Kant, Hegel and Norman Vincent Peale so that I may better understand why my wife. 13 such a cold-hearted brute. You were absolutely right when you said that feminists are so befuddled in their thinking that they blindly lash out at men who, in turn, blindly accept the abuse on some vague assumption that they probably deserve it. But as you so aptly put it, these are men, and not Men. I took your advice and dressed up as an Mbuti warrior when was at her Tupperware and Vibrator party before ripping out all the electrical wiring in the house. Had I been thinking less like an Mbuti, I might have switched off the mains ?rst. Once the convulsions had subsided, I laid an ambush, a two-pronged a?air, much like the old Zulu pincer movement which worked so well at Isandlwana on that hot summer?s day in 187 9 when they caught the British with their silly red pants around their ankles. Brandishing my short?handled stabbing spear, {pounced the moment she walked through the door. Subjecting a hysterical woman to a full body cavity search for any contraband designed to make me redundant is not easy, especially not when the springbok loin cloth snags on the door handle. Moving I am embarrassed to admit it, but since we last. communicated I was keeping down a day job much like all the other white-collar criminals who are allowed to hold positions of power and roam the streets at will. Happily, this has now ended. One of the worst things about the Industrial Revolution is that it spawned an entirely new strain of human being whose behaviour was progressively characterised by appalling arrogance, tight-?sted rapaciousness and an unlimited capacity for treachery. Collectively, this new breed came to be lmown as Management. Somehow, Management skipped a link in Darwin?s chain and instead of evolving, they regressed. Instead of becoming more attruistic and honorable, they began shedding all the qualities necessary for developing into wellurounded members of the species. The workers, on the other hand, became increasingly enlightened. On their way to developing a drinking problem, the proletariat developed innovative new concepts like labour unions. While the bosses spent sleepless nights wondering how to squeeze the hired hands for more work and less pay, the staff spent their nights gambling and carousng and inventing novel new ways of using up all their sick leave. The devolution of the boss has been spectacular. There was a time when he strode the earth like a colossus, dispensing wisdom and charity in equal measure. He was the closest you could getto Plato?s ideal of what constitutes a leader and about as far from the craven, venal dogs that they are today. at AHyway, that?s not important. What is important is that I don?t allow another rotting season to slip through my ?ngers. Perhaps I should simply pack a small bag and melt away while dreams up fresh ways to humiliate me. I wonder if any buses are going up to the Ituri. .. :3 Hakeem With ?3qu Samam?r l-I- dup- I- ?Man?ama?. WW - 0* 39.17.915417 ?29? ?55 .. I .. 30!: ?Ike. if" buff (WI "II?ll- mm?w . .. . . 39247 w?remr 755235. 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