was naive.

Naive in thinking that while living in a world that is currently troubled by hatred and ugliness, that
nothing would happen to my family. I was naive in thinking my daughter would always have her
daddy right by her side in every milestone of her life. Naive in thinking my son would have his
stepdad to help teach him how to play football, drive a car, or be a man. Naive in thinking my

soulmate and I had our entire lives ahead of us.

Then one night I received a phone call and heard a phrase that I had previously heard twice
before, ?Kristy, go to the hospital, Pat?s there?. Those previous two incidents were minor injuries
and were primarily precautionary trips to the hospital; however, this phone call had my stomach
in knots. I knew this phone call was serious but I was still naive or hopeful in thinking nothing

bad had happened to him.

I never thought I would have to emotionally endure what I have these past few weeks. Patrick
ALWAYS made it home! So why should that night be any different? I felt like my heart was
ripped out of my chest and as if my soul would forever be half empty. My strength was tested in

a way that no one should ever have to endure.

But I?m a strong. I have no other choice but to learn how to manage our loss for the sake of our
children. Patrick would sometimes work three extra jobs three days a week. He would work
funeral details for fallen soldiers, his regular shift at work, and then work as security at a club or
apartment complexes. Not once did he complain, not once. Patrick was strong and would work
hard for us. Not only to ensure bills were paid, but to make enough money to take family trips

and create everlasting memories.

Patrick is the reason I changed my major to criminal justice. Hearing the enthusiasm and
excitement in his voice for his job he so deeply loved is what inspired me to be a police officer.
Switching my major meant me having to take extra classes in order to graduate. It was a
daunting task but Patrick never let me give up. He did anything I needed in order for me to finish

a paper or study for a test. Yet again, he never complained.

People like Patrick don?t come along often. They are few and far between. I miss him. I miss his
smile, I miss hearing his voice, I miss hearing his laugh, and I even miss hearing his god awful
snoring at night! I don't know how I?m going to get through life without him, but for our kids sake,

I have no choice but to learn to manage our pain and loss.

I want to thank everyone from the bottom of our hearts for the tremendous amount of love and
support we have been shown. Although I would much rather have him back, I truly appreciate all
of the efforts in raising money to ensure our children will be taken care of. My heart will forever
be broken. Our lives will forever be incomplete. I hope and pray this hatred and ugliness stops.
Hatred is a waste of time and killing solves nothing. Please be kind to one another. Thank an
officer and educate yourself on why there is such a divide in todays world. We have an

obligation as human beings to spread love. Stop the hatred! Stop the evil! Stop the ugliness!