I .- Ia 2012 FCAT Writing GRADE 4 EXPOSITORY CALIBRATION SCORING GUI DE Copyright Statement for This Office of Assessment Publication Authorization for reproduction of this document is hereby granted to persons acting in an official capacity within the Uniform System of Public K-l2 Schools as defined in Section 1000.01(4), Florida Statutes. The copyright notice at the bottom of this page must be included in all copies. All trademarks and trade names found in this publication are the property of their respective owners and are not associated with the publishers of this publication. Permission is NOT granted for distribution or reproduction outside the Uniform System of Public K-12 Schools or for commercial distribution of the copyrighted materials without written authorization from the Florida Department of Education. Questions regarding use of these copyrighted materials should be sent to the following: The Administrator Office of Assessment 325 West Gaines Street Florida Department of Education Tallahassee, Florida 32399-0400 Copyright (C) 2011 State of Florida Department of State TABLE OF CONTENTS Page 1 2 3 4 5 6 9 13 19 25 33 Introduction Definition of Writing Purpose (Mode) Scoring Method Rubric Prompt Responses Receiving a Score Point 1 Responses Receiving a Score Point 2 Responses Receiving a Score Point 3 Responses Receiving a Score Point 4 Responses Receiving a Score Point 5 Responses Receiving a Score Point 6 Introduction The 2012 FCAT Writing Calibration Scoring Guides are examples of student responses provided to help interpret the upcoming changes to Florida's writing assessment. The FCAT Writing Content Advisory Committee met with the Department in early August to score student responses based on the new scoring criteria and to recommend the types of responses that effectively convey the expectations for 2012 FCAT Writing scoring. The score assigned to each response in the calibration sets and the accompanying annotation illustrate how 2012 scoring decisions will be applied with increased attention to the correct use of standard English conventions and to the quality of details provided in the response. This increased scrutiny is in addition to the consideration of the elements of focus, organization, support, and conventions described in the rubrics. These complete resources will provide the basis for developing a common understanding of the scoring standards. More information about the holistic scoring method and links to the FCAT Writing rubrics are available at http://fcat.fldoe.org/rubrcpag.asp. Structure of the Calibration Scoring Guide Sets The released 2012 FCAT Writing Calibration Scoring Guides for grades 4, 8, and 10 contain examples of student responses and annotations at each score point to illustrate upcoming changes to the scoring of Florida's writing assessment. Personal information has been removed or fictionalized to protect the identity of the writer. Additional Resources A list of Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs) and the 2012 FCAT Writing Exemplar Sets for grades 4, 8, and 10 are also available to help interpret the upcoming changes to Florida's writing assessment. You may access the Changes to FCAT Writing 2012 and Beyond FAQs and the Exemplar Sets at the Test Development Center's SharePoint site here: http://sharepoint.leon.k12.fl.us/tdc/external/default.aspx. You may access the July 5, 2011, Changes to FCAT Writing memorandum from Deputy Commissioner Kris Ellington on the K-12 Assessment-Memoranda and Information page at http://www.fldoe.org/asp/k12memo/k12memo-fcat.asp. If you have any questions, please contact Renn Edenfield, FCAT/FCAT 2.0 English Language Arts Coordinator, at 850.922.2584, ext. 230 or edenfieldr@leonschools.net. 1 Florida Department of Education FCAT 2012 Definition of Expository Writing The purpose of expository writing is to inform, clarify, explain, define, or instruct by giving information, explaining why or how, clarifying a process, or defining a concept. Well-written exposition has a clear, central focus developed through a carefully crafted presentation of facts, examples, or definitions that enhance the reader's understanding. These facts, examples, and definitions are objective and not dependent on emotion, although the writing may be lively, engaging, and reflective of the writer's underlying commitment to the topic. Definition of Narrative Writing The purpose of narrative writing is to recount a personal or fictional experience or to tell a story based on a real or imagined event. In well-written narration, a writer uses insight, creativity, drama, suspense, humor, or fantasy to create a central theme or impression. The details all work together to develop an identifiable story line that is easy to follow and paraphrase. Definition of Persuasive Writing The purpose of persuasive writing is to convince the reader to accept a particular point of view or to take a specific action. Anticipating counterargument is important; in fact, the writer may choose to clarify his or her position by refuting counterarguments. The unmistakable purpose of persuasive writing is to convince the reader. In well-written persuasion, the topic or issue is clearly stated and elaborated to indicate understanding and conviction on the part of the writer. 2 Florida Department of Education FCAT 2012 Scoring Method Holistic Scoring The scoring method used to score the FCAT Writing essay is called holistic scoring. Trained scorers judge the total piece of writing in terms of predefined criteria. Holistic scoring assumes that the skills that make up the ability to write are closely interrelated. Scorers do not grade the response by enumerating its mechanical, grammatical, or linguistic weaknesses. Scorers for FCAT Writing consider the integration of four writing elements: focus, organization, support, and conventions. This scoring method results in greater attention to the writer's message, staying closer to what is essential in realistic communication. Focus refers to how clearly the paper presents and maintains a main idea, theme, or unifying point. o Papers receiving low scores may contain information that is loosely related and/or extraneous, often presented in a list-like or rambling manner. o Papers receiving high scores demonstrate a consistent awareness of the topic and avoid loosely related or extraneous information. The theme or unifying point of the response is clearly established and maintained throughout. Organization refers to the structure or plan of development (sequence, cause and effect, compare and contrast, etc.) and the relationship of one point to another. Organization refers to the use of transitional devices to signal both the relationship of the supporting ideas to the main idea, theme, or unifying point, and the connections between and among sentences. o Papers receiving low scores may include few or formulaic transitional devices, often misusing those chosen. Order and structure of the response may be somewhat confusing, with illogical placement of information. o Papers receiving high scores demonstrate an effective organizational pattern, including thoughtful order and structure of information that guide the reader through the text, enhance understanding, and further the writer's purpose. Strong, well-crafted transitions are logically embedded in the text. Support refers to the quality of details used to explain, clarify, or define. The quality of the support depends on word choice, specificity, depth, relevance, and thoroughness. o Papers receiving low scores may contain little, if any, development of support, such as a bare list of events or reasons, or generalities and filler language that fail to clarify meaning. o Papers receiving high scores generally provide elaborated examples, and the relationship between the supporting ideas and the topic is clear. Sufficient, specific, and relevant details help the reader construct mental images. Precise word choice provides a natural, reasonable, and consistent tone. Conventions refer to punctuation, capitalization, spelling, usage, and sentence structure. o Papers receiving low scores may contain frequent or blatant errors in punctuation, capitalization, spelling, and usage and may have little variation in sentence structure. Errors involving conventions in responses with lower scores often detract from the writer's message and signal lack of attention to commonly accepted rules of standard English. o Papers receiving high scores generally follow the basic conventions of punctuation, capitalization, spelling, and usage. Various sentence structures and styles add compositional facility and rhythm to the response, allowing emphasis of critical points, and creating interest for the reader. 3 Florida Department of Education FCAT 2012 Grade 4 FCAT Writing Score Points in Rubric: Grade 4 Score 6 The writing is focused on the topic, has a logical organizational pattern (including a beginning, middle, conclusion, and transitional devices), and has ample development of the supporting ideas. The paper demonstrates a sense of completeness or wholeness. The writing demonstrates a mature command of language including precision in word choice. Subject/verb agreement and verb and noun forms are generally correct. With few exceptions, the sentences are complete, except when fragments are used purposefully. Various sentence structures are used. Score 5 The writing is focused on the topic with adequate development of the supporting ideas. There is an organizational pattern, although a few lapses may occur. The paper demonstrates a sense of completeness or wholeness. Word choice is adequate but may lack precision. Most sentences are complete, although a few fragments may occur. There may be occasional errors in subject/verb agreement and in standard forms of verbs and nouns, but not enough to impede communication. The conventions of punctuation, capitalization, and spelling are generally followed. Various sentence structures are used. Score 4 The writing is generally focused on the topic, although it may contain some extraneous or loosely related information. An organizational pattern is evident, although lapses may occur. The paper demonstrates a sense of completeness or wholeness. In some areas of the response, the supporting ideas may contain specifics and details, while in other areas, the supporting ideas may not be developed. Word choice is generally adequate. Knowledge of the conventions of punctuation and capitalization is demonstrated, and commonly used words are usually spelled correctly. There has been an attempt to use a variety of sentence structures, although most are simple constructions. Score 3 The writing is generally focused on the topic, although it may contain some extraneous or loosely related information. Although an organizational pattern has been attempted and some transitional devices have been used, lapses may occur. The paper may lack a sense of completeness or wholeness. Some of the supporting ideas may not be developed with specifics and details. Word choice is adequate but limited, predictable, and occasionally vague. Knowledge of the conventions of punctuation and capitalization is demonstrated, and commonly used words are usually spelled correctly. There has been an attempt to use a variety of sentence structures, although most are simple constructions. 4 Grade 4 Score 2 The writing may be slightly related to the topic or may offer little relevant information and few supporting ideas or examples. The writing that is relevant to the topic exhibits little evidence of an organizational pattern or use of transitional devices. Development of the supporting ideas may be inadequate or illogical. Word choice may be limited or immature. Frequent errors may occur in basic punctuation and capitalization, and commonly used words may frequently be misspelled. The sentence structure may be limited to simple constructions. Score 1 The writing may only minimally address the topic because there is little, if any, development of supporting ideas, and unrelated information may be included. The writing that is relevant to the topic does not exhibit an organizational pattern; few, if any, transitional devices are used to signal movement in the text. Supporting ideas may be sparse, and they are usually provided through lists, clich?s, and limited or immature word choice. Frequent errors in spelling, capitalization, punctuation, and sentence structure may impede communication. The sentence structure may be limited to simple constructions. Unscorable The paper is unscorable because o the response is not related to what the prompt requested the student to do; o the response is simply a rewording of the prompt; o the response is a copy of a published work; o the response is a statement of refusal to write; o the response is written in a foreign language; o the response is illegible; o the response is incomprehensible (words are arranged in such a way that no meaning is conveyed); o the response contains an insufficient amount of writing to determine if the student attempted to address the prompt; or o the writing folder is blank. 4 Prompt and Allowable Interpretations 2012 Calibration Scoring Guide Grade 4 Expository Prompt People like different kinds of weather. Think about the kind of weather you like. Now write to explain the kind of weather you like. The prompt serves as a stimulus for writing. The purpose of the prompt is to elicit expository writing from fourth grade students statewide. Responses are scored when a connection exists between the prompt and the response, but the quality of the writing ultimately determines the score of each response. Allowable Interpretations Allowable interpretations describe acceptable ways of responding to the prompt. The allowable interpretations serve as a scoring tool that assists scorers in distinguishing scorable from unscorable responses. o The student is allowed considerable latitude in his or her interpretation of the prompt; therefore, words contained in the prompt may be broadly defined. A complete misreading of the prompt may be unscorable or result in a lower score. For example, if the student writes about "water," with no explanation of "weather," the response will be unscorable because it is off topic. The explanation may be based on fact, evidence, or reasonable assumptions, but the information may represent values that are unconventional. The plausibility of the details used, however, affects the overall quality of the response. The student may provide a reason or reasons to support that he or she does not have one favorite kind of weather, or the student may explain weather he or she does not like. The student may write about one type of weather or more than one type of weather. The student may expand on one aspect of weather, and/or the student may explain multiple aspects (positive and/or negative) of weather. Narration, description, and persuasion "work" if they provide explanatory information related to the prompt. The response can be in various formats, including a letter. o o o o o o 5 Florida Department of Education FCAT 2012 Score Point 1 2012 FCAT Writing Grade 4 Expository Calibration Set Calibration Paper 1 (page 1 of 1) Score Point 1 ? The writing in this brief response minimally addresses the topic of weather and includes some unrelated information about a holiday (The two Weathers are snow, cold and the hoilyday is charimass). The opening paragraph weakly suggests an organizational plan, but the previewed arrangement is not followed in the remainder of the response. The "snow" idea is mentioned, but the other ideas are completely dropped. The lack of additional information and a closing renders the response incomplete and illogical. Inadequate development of support and limited word choice are present (I love Snow because you can play a Snow ball fight with the snow. first you build a fort and you wait till a kid says go and then you start thorwing the at erevy one in site). Frequent errors in the basic conventions of spelling, punctuation, capitalization, and sentence structure impede communication. ? ? ? 6 Florida Department of Education FCAT 2012 Score Point 1 2012 FCAT Writing Grade 4 Expository Calibration Set Calibration Paper 2 (page 1 of 1) Score Point 1 ? ? The writing in this response addresses "different kinds of weather." Rather than improving connections between ideas, the repetitive use of "next" detracts from the organizational structure because sequencing is not relevant to the information presented or to the purpose for writing. (Next I will tell you about). The development of supporting ideas is sparse, immature, and list-like (Summer is a time fourswimm in the pool. And going to the beach and laying in the sand. And having a good time and going skoopdiving). Frequent and blatant errors occur in sentence structure, and commonly used words are misspelled, sometimes impeding understanding. ? ? 7 Florida Department of Education FCAT 2012 Score Point 1 2012 FCAT Writing Grade 4 Expository Calibration Set Calibration Paper 3 (page 1 of 1) Score Point 1 ? ? The writing minimally addresses the topic of weather (the wether I like is snowe days). Although the response includes a brief opening (what kindof wether do I like) and a closing statement (and that's why snowedays are my farvet day), little organization is evident within the body. Without adequate transitional devices, the repetitive "and" fuses ideas, resulting in confusion for the reader. Supporting ideas are sparse (come insid and stand if front of the fire tht lock as orng as the sun and mamas making hot coco to worm you up). Frequent errors in spelling, capitalization, punctuation, usage, and sentence structure impede communication. ? ? 8 Florida Department of Education FCAT 2012 Score Point 2 2012 FCAT Writing Grade 4 Expository Calibration Set Calibration Paper 4 (page 1 of 1) Score Point 2 ? ? The writing is related to the topic of snowy weather, but the information is presented in a listlike, hasty manner. The response includes a brief opening (My favorite wether is snowy weather) and closing statement (And that's why snowy wether is my favorite wether), but these elements are pedestrian and provide little evidence of an organizational structure. Development of supporting ideas is inadequate. One idea is extended with some detail (the next day you can go Ice skateing on a frozen lake. After that you can cut a gigantic hole in the lake. And fish threw that hole). Other ideas are bare and include limited, predictable word choice. Frequent errors occur in sentence structure, punctuation, and capitalization, and commonly used words are misspelled. ? ? 9 Florida Department of Education FCAT 2012 Score Point 2 2012 FCAT Writing Grade 4 Expository Calibration Set Calibration Paper 5 (page 1 of 2) Score Point 2 10 Florida Department of Education FCAT 2012 Score Point 2 2012 FCAT Writing Grade 4 Expository Calibration Set Calibration Paper 5 (page 2 of 2) Score Point 2 ? ? The response is related to the topic of the weather, but the focus is not clearly established through a main idea, theme, or unifying point. The repetitive phrases (The reason why I do, The reason I do not, Those are the reasons why) indicate a rudimentary organizational format, yet these words do not provide smooth connections or flow to the writing. Overall development of support is inadequate. Some supporting ideas include brief references to weather the writer does not like (the reason why I do rain it make hurt your self and get sick, The reason I do not like cold wheather is because it make you sick and you cough when your sick). Other supporting ideas are not developed (and you can play with your friends and your dog, cat, Bird any animal that you have). Word choice is limited and immature. Frequent errors occur in the conventions of capitalization, punctuation, and usage, and commonly used words are misspelled. ? ? 11 Florida Department of Education FCAT 2012 Score Point 2 2012 FCAT Writing Grade 4 Expository Calibration Set Calibration Paper 6 (page 1 of 1) Score Point 2 ? ? ? The writing is related to the topic of rainy weather, but loses focus by including extraneous information about getting sick. Although the response begins by acknowledging the topic of weather and ends with an abrupt concluding statement (I love rain!), little evidence of an organizational plan is present. The support that is related to the topic is inadequate (What I like about it is that its so cold and wety and silky). The remainder of the response presents tangential, circular information (I wish I don't get sick by rain, probly I'm elergic to it or something or I've been in it for a long long time, I don't really know but I will love to know so I don't have to get sick over and over again without even knowing). Some punctuation and capitalization errors occur, and a few difficult words are misspelled (elergic, probly), but commonly used words are generally spelled correctly. ? 12 Florida Department of Education FCAT 2012 Score Point 3 2012 FCAT Writing Grade 4 Expository Calibration Set Calibration Paper 7 (page 1 of 2) Score Point 3 13 Florida Department of Education FCAT 2012 Score Point 3 2012 FCAT Writing Grade 4 Expository Calibration Set Calibration Paper 7 (page 2 of 2) ? Score Point 3 This response is generally focused on the topic of rainy weather, although it contains some extraneous information. Elimination of the word "rainy" or "water" in some of the sentences results in confusion concerning the focus (To begin with I thought that weather was horrible. Later I realized that the weather actually helped us). An organizational pattern is attempted, with a brief introduction and conclusion and through the use of basic transitional devices (To begin with, Later, Finnaly). Supporting ideas are sometimes developed with meaningless figurative language (Rain became as cool as a cat) Other ideas lack specific information (It turned out that plants live because of weather). Word choice is vague and sometimes inappropriate. Some knowledge of capitalization and punctuation is demonstrated. Although there is an attempt to vary sentence structure, most are simple constructions. ? ? ? 14 Florida Department of Education FCAT 2012 Score Point 3 2012 FCAT Writing Grade 4 Expository Calibration Set Calibration Paper 8 (page 1 of 2) Score Point 3 15 Florida Department of Education FCAT 2012 Score Point 3 2012 FCAT Writing Grade 4 Expository Calibration Set Calibration Paper 8 (page 2 of 2) Score Point 3 ? The writing is generally focused on the topic, although it contains some extraneous information, especially in the beginning of the response (I do like cold a lot to but not 30dof cold you know nobody likes freazing cold you know but if youre not prepaired your going to get sick so there is no way winter is not exiting). Although the response is arranged topically by the many types of weather conditions the writer likes (not to hot and not to cold, cold, rainy, rainstorms, hot, fall), the failure to indent to signal paragraphs and the inconsistent use of transitional devices create confusion for the reader. Some areas of the response contain specific details (I also like long rainstorms because whith the street lights out and the sun is going down and your inside under nice cozy covers in a nice recliner looking at the rain eating chicken viena sausages whith the power out), but the extraneous commentary detracts from the effectiveness (it is real, real good you probably know the feeling I know I do). Although some knowledge of the conventions of capitalization is demonstrated, errors occur in punctuation and sentence structure. Commonly used words are usually spelled correctly. ? ? ? 16 Florida Department of Education FCAT 2012 Score Point 3 2012 FCAT Writing Grade 4 Expository Calibration Set Calibration Paper 9 (page 1 of 2) Score Point 3 17 Florida Department of Education FCAT 2012 Score Point 3 2012 FCAT Writing Grade 4 Expository Calibration Set Calibration Paper 9 (page 2 of 2) Score Point 3 ? ? ? The writing in this response is generally focused on the topic of "sunny days." An organizational pattern is attempted through the use of a basic introduction, formulaic transitions (First, Next, Another, Finally), and a redundant conclusion. Three reasons are presented and supported with related details (Like you can play hop scoch with your friends. Practice with your jump rope to show your friends. Or have a hooly hoop contest against other people down the street). Word choice is predictable, and each paragraph begins and ends with repetitive filler language (First, I like sunny days because, Next I like sunny days because, Now you know one reason, Now you know two reasons, Now you know my last reason). The writing demonstrates knowledge of basic conventions, and commonly used words are usually spelled correctly. Some sentence structures are varied, but most are simple constructions, resulting in a less than fluent essay. ? 18 Florida Department of Education FCAT 2012 Score Point 4 2012 FCAT Writing Grade 4 Expository Calibration Set Calibration Paper 10 (page 1 of 2) Score Point 4 19 Florida Department of Education FCAT 2012 Score Point 4 2012 FCAT Writing Grade 4 Expository Calibration Set Calibration Paper 10 (page 2 of 2) Score Point 4 ? ? The writing is generally focused on why rain is the best kind of weather. An organizational pattern centers around three reasons the student loves rain, and basic transitional devices are used throughout the response (The 1st reason, The 2nd reason, The last reason, when we finish, I also play,). Some supporting ideas are adequately developed with specific details (The last reason why I love Rain is I can splash in puddles. When I jump in them, water splashes every where, my legs and shorts will be wet. Sometimes when I'm so huper, I'll run so fast and Jump so hard it's like throwing a rock in it and it looks like a volcano exploring). However, in other areas of the response, the development of ideas is list-like (I play board games with my little bro & sis, we play checkers, connect 4, Uno, crazy 8's, chess melopley. Alot more. I Also play with my mom and dad too. But we play connect 4, uno, crazy 8's, melopley the most). Word choice is sometimes precise (soaked with water head to toe, like throwing a rock in it and it looks like a volcano). Although some errors occur, overall knowledge of the conventions of punctuation, capitalization, and spelling is demonstrated. An attempt to use a variety of sentence structures is evident. ? ? 20 Florida Department of Education FCAT 2012 Score Point 4 2012 FCAT Writing Grade 4 Expository Calibration Set Calibration Paper 11 (page 1 of 2) Score Point 4 21 Florida Department of Education FCAT 2012 Score Point 4 2012 FCAT Writing Grade 4 Expository Calibration Set Calibration Paper 11 (page 2 of 2) ? ? ? The response is focused on the benefits of rainy weather. An organizational pattern is apparent, and transitional devices are used. Score Point 4 Two reasons rain is the student's favorite weather are presented. The first reason includes loosely related information about a movie plot that strays from the topic. The second reason is adequately developed (I allso like when it rains because I get to put on my rain coat, rain boats, and my rain hat. Once I have every thing on I go outside and play in the puddles. Every time it rains I get so excited. For example, one time It started to rain, I got all my rain stuff on and when I got out side, I jumped in to a big, huge, clear blue puddle and realized that I forgot my rain hat so now my hair was soking wet). Word choice is sometimes precise (I lafed so hard I fell right out of my bed, laghing at me like a hiena). Although some errors occur in spelling (earchen, lafed, soking), most commonly used words are spelled correctly. Overall, conventions of punctuation, capitalization, and spelling are generally followed, and various sentence structures are used. ? 22 Florida Department of Education FCAT 2012 Score Point 4 2012 FCAT Writing Grade 4 Expository Calibration Set Calibration Paper 12 (page 1 of 2) Score Point 4 23 Florida Department of Education FCAT 2012 Score Point 4 2012 FCAT Writing Grade 4 Expository Calibration Set Calibration Paper 12 (page 2 of 2) Score Point 4 ? ? The writing is generally focused on the topic of "cool weather." An organizational pattern is evident, including a brief but original introduction and conclusion. Internal transitioning is used (Also I get overheated, then I say, So when I am sitting), and the paper demonstrates a sense of completeness. Positive attributes of cool weather are presented in the two body paragraphs (not getting overheated and riding in Grandma's convertible). Development of the first reason includes some specific supporting details (and always when I do that I swet like I just got out of the swimming pool but when it is this kind of weather I don't swet it feels like I was under the fan all along.) and some information that is not developed (Also I get overheated very-very-very easily and I NEVER like getting overheated). However, the writer uses specific details as support to elaborate on the idea of riding with the top down (She has a blue convertible and in the summers I ask her, "Can you put the top down?" and then she says, "no because it is too hot and I don't want the hot blazing sun beating on my body"). Effective use of dialogue supports the main ideas, and word choice is adequate. Although some errors occur, knowledge of conventions of spelling, capitalization, usage, and sentence structure is demonstrated. Punctuation of the illustrative dialogue is generally correct, which is also noteworthy. An attempt to use a variety of sentence structures is evident. ? ? 24 Florida Department of Education FCAT 2012 Score Point 5 2012 FCAT Writing Grade 4 Expository Calibration Set Calibration Paper 13 (page 1 of 2) Score Point 5 25 Florida Department of Education FCAT 2012 Score Point 5 2012 FCAT Writing Grade 4 Expository Calibration Set Calibration Paper 13 (page 2 of 2) Score Point 5 ? ? ? The writing is focused on the topic of two kinds of weather, sunny and stormy. The organizational pattern is apparent, and basic transitions are used between (To begin with, In addition, In conclusion) and within (When I arrived, There was also) paragraphs. Support is adequately developed for the idea of visiting a beach (When I arived at the island there was so many beautiful shells and birds. The shells were all different shapes and sizes. The birds were very tall and had glossy white feathers. There was also a large pit with warm water in it. It was like it was a gigantic hot tub), but support is less developed for the idea of stormy weather (I enjoy this type of weather because I get to stay inside, watch movies, and play games. When I stay inside I get to do alot of things. For example I get to watch my favorite moves). Word choice is adequate and sometimes precise (glossy white feathers, large pit, gigantic hot tub). Variation in sentence structures is present. Although some verb form errors are evident (kinds of weather I like is [are], there was [were] so many beautiful shells and birds), knowledge of punctuation, capitalization, and spelling is demonstrated overall. ? 26 Florida Department of Education FCAT 2012 Score Point 5 2012 FCAT Writing Grade 4 Expository Calibration Set Calibration Paper 14 (page 1 of 3) Score Point 5 27 Florida Department of Education FCAT 2012 Score Point 5 2012 FCAT Writing Grade 4 Expository Calibration Set Calibration Paper 14 (page 2 of 3) Score Point 5 28 Florida Department of Education FCAT 2012 Score Point 5 2012 FCAT Writing Grade 4 Expository Calibration Set Calibration Paper 14 (page 3 of 3) ? ? Score Point 5 The writing is focused on the topic of two kinds of weather (when it snows and when it's sunny). An organizational pattern is evident, and reasons are presented and elaborated. Transitions between and within paragraphs move the reader through the text (When it snows, One time, One year, My other favorite). Support is adequately developed, especially with the idea of snow (When it snows everyone likes to go outside and play, especially ME! I love to have snowball fights with my brothers and anyone else who comes around. One time at my aunts house she had snow delivered and I remeber accidently hitting my dad on the back with a snowball). A sense of wholeness is present, and word choice is adequate. The conventions of mechanics, usage, and spelling are generally followed, and various sentence structures are used. ? ? 29 Florida Department of Education FCAT 2012 Score Point 5 2012 FCAT Writing Grade 4 Expository Calibration Set Calibration Paper 15 (page 1 of 3) Score Point 5 30 Florida Department of Education FCAT 2012 Score Point 5 2012 FCAT Writing Grade 4 Expository Calibration Set Calibration Paper 15 (page 2 of 3) Score Point 5 31 Florida Department of Education FCAT 2012 Score Point 5 2012 FCAT Writing Grade 4 Expository Calibration Set Calibration Paper 15 (page 3 of 3) ? ? ? The writing is focused on the topic of sunny weather. Score Point 5 An organizational pattern is evident, and ideas transition smoothly throughout (Sometimes, I also like, When it's sunny, One time, If it's sunny). In some areas, adequate development of the supporting ideas with specific details enhances understanding (The bad thing is when your enjoying that hot weather and you slide and splash into the water your whole body feels like you've been stuck in a refrigerator for a month and you sprint out saying "th that . . . w.was . . . cc-cold!" After that you colide with the nice feeling of warmness and gratitude for the nice hot weather). In other areas, ideas are not as fully developed(I like sunny weather because you can feel the heat going around your body. It's also a good day to go out on the beach and swim in the cool water. The birds are chirping and the horses are naying "Yee haa!"). Overall, the writer employs precise word choice (under your microscope, build this special device, streaming water trickling down, pampered by the water, sprint out). Most sentences are complete and varied, and conventions are generally followed. ? 32 Florida Department of Education FCAT 2012 Score Point 6 2012 FCAT Writing Grade 4 Expository Calibration Set Calibration Paper 16 (page 1 of 3) Score Point 6 33 Florida Department of Education FCAT 2012 Score Point 6 2012 FCAT Writing Grade 4 Expository Calibration Set Calibration Paper 16 (page 2 of 3) Score Point 6 34 Florida Department of Education FCAT 2012 Score Point 6 2012 FCAT Writing Grade 4 Expository Calibration Set Calibration Paper 16 (page 3 of 3) ? ? Score Point 6 The writing is focused on the topic of snow, and the unifying point, the joy of playing in snowy weather with family, is clearly established and maintained all through of the response. A logical organizational pattern is evidenced throughout the response. The writer reveals a sense of insight into the writing situation from the beginning (You may like sunny or rainy weather. Not me I like snow. Whether it's having the annual snowball fight with my cousins or hideing in the freezing snow. Snowy days in New York are always number one),continuing in the body paragraphs with the logical progression of ideas, and completing the response with a short but effective conclusion (In conclusion, Snowy weather rocks. Nothing can beat it). Two detailed anecdotes are given that amply support each reason the writer enjoys snow (the annual snowball fight with my cousins or hideing in the freezing snow). Subject/verb agreement and verb and noun forms are generally correct. Sentences are complete, except when a fragment is used purposefully. ? ? 35 Florida Department of Education FCAT 2012 Score Point 6 2012 FCAT Writing Grade 4 Expository Calibration Set Calibration Paper 17 (page 1 of 3) Score Point 6 36 Florida Department of Education FCAT 2012 Score Point 6 2012 FCAT Writing Grade 4 Expository Calibration Set Calibration Paper 17 (page 2 of 3) Score Point 6 37 Florida Department of Education FCAT 2012 Score Point 6 2012 FCAT Writing Grade 4 Expository Calibration Set Calibration Paper 17 (page 3 of 3) ? ? ? The writing is focused on snow as the favorite weather. Score Point 6 There is a logical organizational pattern, with an illustrative introduction, amply developed body paragraphs, and a thoughtful conclusion that maintains the tone and mood of the response. Supporting ideas are effectively developed with relevant information (the real action begins when you start climbing snow banks and hiding behind trees and when you're just about to hit some one, Wham! A snow ball hits you in the back then you fall over laughing). A mature command of language is demonstrated (when you sit down under the twinkling stars with your family around a fire, It is as if love has encircled you in a blanket of warmth). The response has a sense of completeness. Conventions are generally correct, and sentence structures are varied. ? 38 Florida Department of Education FCAT 2012