1 .. . ?ya: (gf ?4 23;: PLAINFIELD it, HIGH 7:11;; Plainfield, IN 46168 Plainfield High School, Volume 1, Issue Back in the day ?gaa?agcmg?a ?5 Holding open doors ?5 Talking on the phone (not messaging or texting) Handwritten letters at Boys paid full bill on More formal at Met dates at school, sports, clubs, dances, religious places or through friends ?5 Picked up girl and met the parents at ?Chivalry? Finding love on social media ?5 Texts over phone calls ?5 Online dating apps ?5 Breaking up over text on More casual on Long distance relationships at Less rules than before Bro Code Coda "The Rules" The RuZeoJ A bro always entitled to do something nmeetwgiwmm. stupid, as long as the rest of his bros are all doing it. When your bro?s g'rlfriend inquires 95L about his whereabouts, you know ?bm?wmww, nothing, always. I gwm?wc??ogwmw. Always respect another bro?s car, house and parents. Never let your bro sacrifice digiity for . . a girl. - . "Jifx; a, j; SHAKEDIIWN PAGE 2 Online dating offers interesting opportunities -- as well as IN yrs/?gimme Pop songs about love can say so much. Students share lyrics that have special meaning to them ?I?m in love with the shape of you, we push and pull like a magnet do, although your heart is falling, too, I?m in love with your body.? -- ?Shape of You? by Ed Sheeran CONTINUED ON m: PAGE 3 EX Etiquette Behaving properly after a break-up -. Be mature about It don?t use If you answer ?yes? to 8 or more of these, petty techniques to make it dear you might want to back off a bit. 0U aren?t t0 ether an more you constantly text him/her? y_ I xDo you get jealous of him/her easily? Let your friends have their friends. Even if that you think about him/her most of the time? means they?re friends with your ex. The world you watch his/her social media? won?t end. you associate a song with him/her? - - you call him/her multiple times a day? R.emaln nelJtral around them ,and the?: XDoes his/her happiness directly affect your own? frlends- If YOU aCt welrd! they aCt welrd you talk to others about him/her incessantly? and then a? be weird_ XAre you more d?s?tam from fr'ends?? Don?t bash them and any reputation they may have XAre you more distant from family? IS his/her name your password? to other people. Just because they hurt you doesn?t you not like to do some of the things you used mean they deserve to have their life ruined. too? (Playing video gamesa watching movies) Let them decide how much space they want. Do you track his/her location? . you talk to his/her friends about him/her? Maybe you re really better as friends' Maybe - it?s best to remain distant. Work that out. Wh??s w?rs?? Pla ers VS- Cheaters 1 5% 85% said said PLAYERS CH EATERS are worse are worse PAGE 4 PICK-UP LINES: Would any of these work on you? ?Was yourdad a boxer, Cause {?gl?oiw CHE eet loan, because . you?ve got my Relationships are not always what they seem interest.? ?Are you a keyboard, because you?re my type.? ?You are the shark to my tornado.? ?Are you a life-alert, because I?ve fallen for you and I can?t get up. 1! ?On a scale of North Korea to America, how tree are you this weekend?? PAGE 5 de?nes Friends with benefits ?a friend with whom one has occasional [physical] relations, without a commitment or dating arrangement.? IN THE ZONE: A look at what it means to ?friend-zoned? Things seem to be going great. Dates are fun, texts come often, future events -- like Prom -- are discussed. Then, all of the sudden, you feel like you?ve been cast into ?The Zone.? (ONLINE CONTINUED FROM PAGE 3 Other person?s texts are less frequent Excuses are given for not meeting with you Reluctance to talk about big subjects Won?t acknowledge you in public or with their friends Responses are short and irritated, less intertiw When asked about the distance coming between you, they deny it but nothing changes Eventually, they give in and tell you that they just want to BE FRIENDS m: PAGE 6 singlets its/lice Even if it seems like everyone is in a relationship, it?s still cool to be solo PAGE 7 It?s time to DO u/ Be polite u/ Offer to help u/ Dress nicely u/ Engage in friendly conversation u/ Compliment them u/ Ask them about their interests u/ Talk about safe topics, such as work, sports and travel u/ Make contact u/ Shake hands firmly u/ Respect their guidelines and curfews Continuously check or play on your phone Talk about your ex Go overboard with the PDA Make jokes that are crude or vulgar Overshare or monopolize the conversation Forget to thank them for their time Bring up any sore or disappointing topics Be negative TOUG . topics Officer Bruce Felix talks about dating safety, relationships 0: Do you think that high school relationships require more safety measures than adult relationships? A: ?No, I don?t think they require anything different. I think adults and students just need to be cautious about the person they?re involved with.? Q: What are some basic safety measures everyone should follow in a relationship? A: ?Get to know your partner, because how comfortable you feel with the person is important. Based on that, you can decide what you think is safe and normal for behavior in the relationship and what is not.? O: in your experiences as a police officer, is it common to see issues between dating teens? A: ?When we get called to a situation, it is usually is domestic, and it is not always married couples. It is just domestics where partners are having a fallout, and I mean usually in situations like that it is a variety of things [that are causing the problem]. It?s everything from alcohol, to drugs [or even] social media. One time, the significant other got ahold of a suspicious message or text message, [and there was an issue because of that]. We usually get there to only referee and separate the parties so nobody gets hurt. In a situation like that, typically if there is a place to go, somebody leaves and the other person stays for the evening until everybody has had a chance to calm down and talk like adults.? 0: if a friend was in an unsafe relationship and you wanted to get that person help, what is the best way to do this? A: ?If a friend knew about it, hopefully, they would tell an adult, tell a counselor, an assistant principal or they could tell me even if they wanted to come in. I have kids all the time come in and report different situations, whether it be relationships, theft, drugs -- you name it. I think this is a good thing to do. They?re not at fault for doing it; actually, they?re trying to do a favor.? O: is it common that friends of a person in an unsafe relationship come in? A: ?Yes, a lot of times. Sometimes the friend will come in with the person who wants to speak up. It kind of gives you more of a buffer or moral support and that?s hopefully what the kids here would do. [It is good to] be a friend to somebody like that, but the first thing is the person that is the victim has to speak up; they can?t be quiet about it because sometimes doing that can turn into worse.? 0: Have you seen a change or fluctuation in the amount of abuse and unsafe practices in high school relationships since you first started working here? A: ?Not really. This is not something that gets brought to me very often, but I do have kids every now and then who will come in and talk about how so-and-so is beating on so-and-so in a relationship. The biggest thing I always say about high school relationships is that it is almost unheard of for somebody to be beating on somebody else. You are not married to them, not that that makes it right, don?t get me wrong; you?re just dating, so for a young man to start beating on a young lady, that?s absolutely absurd in my mind. We don?t get a lot of it, although in the last couple of years I?ve definitely gotten a few instances where kids are hurting each other.? 0: Do you have any precursors or warnings that you would consider red flags in terms of dangerous behavior for someone in a relationship? A: mean when ?no? doesn?t mean to me, that?s a red flag immediately. If I were a young lady, and you said, ?No, we are not going to do this? or ?No, I don?t want to do that,? and unfortunately, the young man didn?t take it to mean I?d immediately start [asking], ?Whoa, what?s going on here?? So, I guess that would be the thing, when the two of you don?t see to anymore in the relationship. That?s the time to bail out and start looking for someone else. It?s high school, so you probably know you are going to date a lot of people from now until college. It?s probably not the person you are going to marry. If you don?t feel comfortable with that person, that probably is an indicator that it is not going to be a long-term relationship.? 0: What do you think would be a good way to exit a relationship? A: ?Face-to-face. I hate to hear people say, ?Oh they did it on Facebook,? or, ?They did it on Snapchat? or something like that. When the person thinks, ?Okay this is it, I don?t think it?s working? and if that?s not what the other person wants to hear, that is when you get an adult. Because like I said, before that person starts doing something stupid like following you or starts to put things out there that aren?t true, [you should take action]. I guess that would be the warning sign, when ?no? or ?this is over? doesn?t mean ?no, this is over? anymore.? when the two of you don?t see to anymore in the relationship. That?s the time to bail out and start looking for someone else." Bruce Felix, police officer PAGE 9 THE FACTS 1 in4womenand1 in7 men will experience severe physical violence by an intimate partner in their lifetime. Source: CDC, 2017 An estimated 9 7% of women and 2 370 of men have been stalked by an intimate partner during their lifetime. Source: CDC, 2017 one in 1 0 high school students has been purposefully hit, slapped or physically hurt by a boyfriend or girlfriend. Source: Ioveisrespectcom FUN WITHOUT FUNDS Date coming up but no cash to finance it? Going out does not have to break the bank. Check out these cheap date ideas OPicnic in the park OBuild a bonfire OFlea market 0Volunteer together a pizza together OYoga OBuild a fort together OGhost hunting OGet ice cream and go for a walk 0Give each other haircuts 0Binge watch a TV show together CUTEST COUPLES Sources: and screen Deciding what movie to watch can be a source of disagreement. Avoid the arguing and instead check out one of these tried-and- true hits featuring laughter, tears and even some jump scares.(Note: All movies are rated PG-13 or lower.) The Princess Bride Summary: While home sick in bed, a young boy?s grandfather reads him a story that tells of heroes, someone named Inigo Montoya and love. Reason: This is a good movie for people with all interests. It has enticing scenes of fighting, comedy and romance. The perfect movie for a perfect date night in. score: 8.1/10 Labyrinth Summary:A 16-year-old girl is given 13 hours to solve a labyrinth and rescue her baby brother when her wish for him to be taken away is granted by the Goblin King. Reason: This is a good movie for a date if you want to laugh at silly Claymation and strange storylines. Labyrinth is a great movie for a date night filled with interesting ambiance. Score: 7.4/10 Back to the Future Summary: lVlarty a 17-year-old high school student, is accidentally sent 30 years into the past in a time-travelling Delorean invented by his close friend, the maverick scientist Doc Brown. Reason: It?s always fun to cuddle up to a classic movie full of time travel and strange relationships. If you want an adventure full of ACTUAL hover?boards, this is a flawless date movie. Score: 8.5/10 Breakfast at Tiffany?s Summary: A young New York socialite becomes interested in a young man who has moved into her apartment building, but her past threatens to get in the way. Reason: Breakfast at Tiffany?s is another classic and perfect for any couple who likes witty humor and complicated protagonists. This date movie would be ideal with popcorn. Score: 7.7/10 SHAKEIJIIWN PAGE 11 sting ove Eighth grade romance turns into 32 years of marriage Principal Mel Siefert started dating his wife, Amy, 41 years ago. They were friends through junior high and started dating in eighth grade.The summer before their first year of college, Siefert said he knew this was the woman he wanted to marry. Though they had both dated others before each other, neither one had ever really been in love. Their first date was a simple one: they went to see the movie Dressed to Kill and had ice cream afterward. As their relationship progressed, they ended up at different colleges, each pursuing their desired careers. When their relationship became long distance, they always made an effort talk on the phone at least once during the week and to try to see each other over the weekend. ?When I was in college, we had a payphone, we didn?t have a cellphone,? explained Siefert. It is not like today, where you?re texting 24/7. It was just totally different.? The pair started planning their future close to halfway through college. Both had finally decided on education as their chosen majors, and they needed to start working out how to get jobs close to each other. Eventually, they ended up teaching in Batesville, where Amy still teaches math. The Sieferts had two children, Ben and Lauren. ?There are some really good memories when our kids were growing up,? he explained. ?Nothing is better than watching your children grow into mature adults.? Brebberman WM gated Ix I Double date leads to lifetime love Jaleen Royer, guidance counselor, has been with her husband Justin since her sophomore year of high school. They got married in the summer of 2005. Both she and her husband dated others in high school before they started dating each other. ?Our first date was a double date with Justin?s cousin and his cousin?s girlfriend. We went out for dinner and to a movie,? said Royer. Though they dated through high school, she didn?t think of her husband as ?the one? until THE PAGE 12 SWEETHEAHTS EHOM SCHOOL AND SHAPE HOl/l/ THEY HAVE STAYED TOGETHER ALL THESE YEAHS they were in college. The pair got married after dating for six years.They started planning their future together during the end of her college career. ?We got engaged during my junior year of college,? said Royer. ?He is a year older than me, so he was getting ready to graduate from college. We planned our wedding my senior year of college and got married right after I finished college.? Afun memory in their relationship that stuck out in Royer?s mind happened early on in their relationship. ?When Justin and first started dating, he invited me to the annual Royer family campout,? she explained. ?His extended family, of 75 or so, gathered at a campground for the weekend and had lots of crazy activities planned.There was an entire family scavenger hunt in which we had to do embarrassing things.? She added, didn?t know anyone on my team because they divided us up by generation. There were lots of other planned activities and a huge family dinner. Luckily, I didn?t have to sleep in a tent because his sister was sick that weekend, so I got to stay in a hotel nearby with her and his parents. He had to stay at the campground and sleep in a tent.? From Prom to do? The Plainfield High School 1994 Prom was the scene of the first date for science teacher Michelle Clark and her future husband, Craig. wore a hideous turquoise and purple dress with a bazillion sequins and big, puffy sleeves,? said Clark. ?He took me to a really nice restaurant and [he] tries to tell everyone to this day that wolfed my food down in five minutes and belched really loud when I finished. I don?t really think that happened (but it does sound like something I might While in high school, Clark?s friends and family were supportive of them. Clark said she believes they worked so well together because, as she put it, ?We were both very anti-PDA, so we?d high five when we passed each other in the hallway. We were teenagers. We didn?t act like a married couple until we were actually married.? According to Clark, her future with her now-husband was pretty clear to her. wouldn?t have started dating him in the first place if I didn?t think he would be someone I could see myself marrying so I guess from the beginning I thought he was the one,? said Clark. However, their paths did not always line up 100%. ?We attended different colleges and each focused on our own education and athletic career,? Clark explained. was a senior in college when my husband proposed to me, and that?s really when we first began planning our future together. Up until that point, even though we were dating the entire time, we both made decisions that were best for us as individuals.? Best friends become husband and wife Abby Hostetler, a special education aide, has been with her husband, Thomas, for seven years. ?We were best friends before we started dating,? she said. knew right before we officially started dating that we would get married. I knew he was the one when I couldn?t see any possible reason why we would ever break up. He knew as soon as we began dating as well.? According to Hostetler, the pair don?t exactly remember what they did on their first official date. ?We were together constantly because we were best friends. He was always at my house spending time with my family before we had even started dating,? she said. ?We can?t remember what our first date would have been once we transitioned to dating.? When it came to family and friends growing up, Hostetler said, ?My parents immediately loved my husband and told me that they?d get rid of me before they?d get rid of him. They knew he was the one I?d marry by the second or third month we were dating. All of my friends were on me to give in and date him because I had friend- zoned my husband at the time, and he was determined and very persistent that we would end up together.? Hostetler?s favorite memory is from her wedding. ?One of our favorite times together was the two weeks we got to vacation together with all our closest family and friends for our wedding. We got married at Disney World in PAGE 13 Floridaall the Disney parks with our family and friends,? she said. ?We made many memories on that vacation and our wedding day was one of our favorite days ever.? Distance no barrier for love For Spanish teacher Ryann Mills, sweet 16 was the age at which she started dating her future husband. She knew he was ?the one? after a few years of dating (as they were going off to college). They both had dated others in high school, but once they started dating, they never stopped. ?We have never broken up,? she said. ?We started officially dating on September 21, 2000. He went to Avon High School and I went to Plainfield High School and then he went to IUPUI for college and to Indiana University. I even lived in Spain for a few months my senior year at IU and we stayed together. lguess distance makes the heart grow fonder.? They started planning their life decisions around each other when they went off to college. ?We planned to finish our degrees first, get a job, live at home and save money and then we bought our house,? she explained. ?Right after we got married, we bought our house and spent the first five years of married life traveling and having fun before we had our first son, Maverick. We have traveled to Spain, Mexico, Maui, Key West, Tennessee, Niagara Falls, Las Vegas and the Caribbean on a couple of WARNING DATING HABITS SIGNS OF One teen?s thoughts on what is healthy -- and not AN UNHEALTHY Your significant other is humiliating and/or embarrassing you Your 5/0 is unreasonably jealous Your 5/0 is controlling Your s/o isolates you from your friends and family Your s/o implies that you are stupid or that he or she is the ?smart one.? He/she try to dissuade you from trying something new because ?you probably won?t understand it.? You feel worse about yourself as a person than when you started the relationship (less confident/ can see fewer positive qualities about yourself). You don?t feel able to get your partner?s attention when you want to talk about something important. You feel as if your relationship is ?out of sight, out of mind? when you are not physically together. 9 You worry that your partner might get so angry that he or she would hurt 41155 . PAGE 14 SO you have broken up with your significant other. Are you Are you looking for some time to yourself? Yclas No Move on That?s Tall < to Do you have totally okay. some someone in Take some of your mind? time to friends I understand about Yes No your wants how you I and needs feel and Be and take what you confident care of want to and yourself. do next. ask the person out on a date. Good luck! Talk to friends and see if they can help you find someone. Put yourself out there. Do ou think it?s EALTHY to ARGUE in a relationshi?? Are you ready to move on or be single? Be single That?s great! It?s good to be happy Take this time to focus on yourself. Have you told your friends? Yes Were they nice? Yes Try going on a friend?s night out. FHends are the best. Sorry. Try some self- pampering activities, like eating ice cream, watching a movie or going to a spa. No No Would you feel better if you did? Yes No Try talking to them. Your friends will be supportive. Try getting your feeHngs out in a positive way. It will make you feel better. PAGE 15 UNDER WRAPS Not every relationship starts out in the open Do you believe in soulmates? de?nes Polyamory (noun) as: yes 6 2 /o form of relationship involving I more than two people. The relationships may be symmetrical 0 (like a triangle) or something more I com lex The relationshi ma also I - be open or closed, straight or gay or PAGE 16 RALLYING THE RAINBOW relationships WAY CLICHE A look at dating stereotypes WHO SHOULD PAY FOR Guys. 560/0 Girls: 5% DO YOU PREFER TO BE ASKED OUT OR DO THE Ask someone: Be asked out: 1 3% 87% SHAKEDIIWN PAGE 18 IN MY DREAMS LOVE ACTUALLY Design your dream significant other. Include every detail you desire, right down to the clothes they?re wearin_ Age? experIe-n-Ce d0 n01: determine unconditional love Heard it in A LOVE SONG A IS 0 Dating someone older requires A PAGE 20 CHEESY vs. When it comes to relationships, how it looks to outsiders can be adorable or over the top 0 WA Hand holding? Check. Hugging? Check. Kissino? No thanks. More? Sto- now. PAGE 21 VE NG-DISTANCE PAGE 22 Remembering that FIRST KISS Anonymous boy 12: was in second grade and when was in second grade I was very egocentric and so I had trouble understanding other kids because they made me mad. I don?t know why. I just thought I was smarter than them. Anyway, there was a field trip on a bus, and on the bus a girl just sat down next to me, like a second grader does, and she goes, ?We?re dating now.? And go, ?Umm, okay.? The entire field trip I was just annoyed by this girl that had decided we were dating and at the end of the field trip I was so frustrated. We were on the bus ride home, and she just kept talking to me, and I didn?t want to hear, it so I said, ?Hey? to stop her and then I kissed her and said, ?We?re breaking up.? And that was it.? Anonymous boy 11: ?It was in seventh grade. I was walking out to the bus and I didn?t know what was going on and my girlfriend grabbed me and took me aside. She was like, ?Kiss me,? and I was like, ?What?? because I had never kissed anybody before, so I closed my lips and just went in. It was really, really awkward and it was really wet and really weird.? Anonymous girl, 10: ?My first kiss was in sixth grade. was going to my locker to grab my book and I turned around and my boyfriend was there. He kind of smiled and then he said that he really wanted to be with me. Then he leaned in and he kissed me. Then I had to go, so I kind of turned around and I just kind of laughed for like a minute or so and was like, ?Okay.? We were together for about a year, so it was a good relationship and it was probably the one of the best first kisses I would ever have.? Anonymous girl, 9: guess my first kiss would have been seventh grade year. It was kind of awkward because he just grabbed my face and just went in and I didn?t know what to do. It was really awkward because I had not kissed anyone since kindergarten (but I don?t really count that as a first kiss).? All you need is lov FOP VOUIQSELF, THAT IS Have you ever felt USED in a relationship? 4 9% fig PAGE 23 Plainfield Hgih School, Plainfield, IN 46168 Volume 1, Issue 1 Welcome to the first issue of -- a special publication of the Plainfield High School Publications Department. Each issue of focuses on a specific topic of interest to teens. Plainfield High School 317-839-7711, ext. 1114 Interested in advertising in Contact mburress@plainfield.k12.in.us for details.