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Approved For Release 2007/06/14 STAT

 
 
 
     

MAY 1976

 

 

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Somewhere deep in the innermost regions of the American
character there may dwell The Perfect Hamburger, the mold, the
essence, the Platonic ideal. Here among us mortals, however, there can

be no doubt of the identity of the perfect hamburger: it is mine- Mine.
Well, you get the picture. In this age of post-Watergate good feeling,

there is perhaps no easier way to start an argument than to advance the merits of
one hamburger over another. Now since the hamburger is, ultimately, a (ahem!) trivial
affair, differences of opinion over its merits tend to reveal more about the eater than: the

eaten. Here, then, is what certain prominent Texans consider to be the ideal hamburger.

Georee Bush currently the director of the Central Intelligence Agency, admits to serving
?a hamburger every Sunday at our house. I do the cooking, but when the going
gets tough, I can press some of our kids into service if they?re home." In his full disclosure,
Director Bush insists that the most important ingredient in any hamburger is a good grade of 
beef, basing this on his theory, ?Let the meat do the talking.? 

T. A. ?Amarillo Slim" Preston's hamburger is also heavy on the meat. At the home of the
former World Poker Champion, the meat not only does the talking, it also does most of the
ruminating in his back yard, where Preston??taking no chancesmraises his own beef- Ali--
though not a hamburger eater by nature, when Slim does indulge, it's in a charcoal-broiled
hamburger made at home with a regular bun, a lot of meat, mustard, onion, lettuce, and
tomato, but no mayonnaise. ?Mayonnaise is for sandwiches; that?s just factual.?

Many men share Preston?s dislike for mayonnaise, including Marvin Zindler, Houston?s con-- .
sumer advocate at Zindler is also a meat man. So much that he likes his hambur- 
ger raw. Not rare, folks, raw; at the outside he?ll accept it warm.

Kaye Northcott, editor of the Texas Observer, would wince at the sight of a Zindler?burger- 
Kaye is on her way to becoming a vegetarian. However, during infrequent dur- a:
ing deadline time?she has been known to eat a good, old?fashioned hamburger at Dan's on 
South Congress. Cheese, mustard, lettuce, and tomato are essential to her-hamburger, but not I-
as essential as the greasy onion rings. 

Richard ?Tres? Kleberg?s nonchalance about his creation, the no la have hamburger 
(roughly translated, the ?it doesn't matter" burger) is deceptive. When it comes to hamburger,
what clearly does matter to the King Ranch heir is what goes into its making. His butcher
grinds sirloin and forms it into five-inch patties, which Kleberg considers the ideal diameter-
Kleberg marinates the meat in a sauce of his invention, which keeps the teat moist on
the grill. His favorite condiment: a spoonful of picante sauce. 

Tony Valone of Houston?s posh Tony?s restaurant does not feign indifference to ham-
burgers. Tony has to be in ?a hamburger mood" before he?ll put a burger to his lips- Such a.
mood is generally triggered by external forces. When his kids play softball in the park, some-
thing-?nostalgia, maybe?sets off Tony's hamburger reflexes and he?s off to Ruby Red's or
Whataburger. Valorie, for the record, subscribes to the cut?the?mayo school of hamburgers-

Not so, Lila Cockrell. San Antonio?s mayor likes her hamburger with everything, mayon:
naise included, with a side of french fries and onion rings. Her diet demands, however, oc~
casional moderation: skim milk instead of a chocolate shake and only half the bun on. the
hamburger. Compromise. We live in a world of compromises.

Jethro Pugh, Dallas Cowboys defensive tackle, orders a hamburger from Guy's Drive-1n
during the season to break the monotony of training food. Pugh?s ideal is a fat, juicy prime
meat patty, medium well done, on a toasted, seedless bun, with sliced onion and tomato, :1 leaf
of lettuce, and mayonnaise. Add a cold beer in a bottle and baked beans and the meal, ac-
cording to Pugh, approaches perfection. It may not, but who's going to argue with him?

What follows are six more Texans who consented to let everyone in on their preferred ham-
. burger. Along with an occasional slice of onion, or tomato, these six photographs also provide a

y.

slice of life that is peculiarly Texan. As Judy Garland - -- 

once told a Cairn terrier, ?We aren't in Kansas, Toto. ff, - -.
"Judy Benson and Alice Gordon a .. ..

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Approved For Release 2007/06/14 --