EXHIBIT The Billionaire?s Playboy Club By Virginia Roberts To my true love Robbie who believes in me every step children, you are all my very inspirations! Chapter] Every single person in this shared world together has a unique story of his or her own to tell, this one is mine. It was coming up to my third night camping out at Miami Beach in the summer of 1997. i was thirteen years old and hiding from a world full of hurt. Sitting on the shoreline for hours watching the sunset fall deeper into the horizon, my eyes were glazed over with tears, not from being wind-whipped by the rough sea breeze, but from reflecting on the abuse I encountered as a young girl and how everyone in my life who was supposed to be there for me had now turned their backs on me in abandonment. My fears crept up and the excitement ofescaping all of them faded now realizing how alone I really was now, and for the hunger that was paining my beily. At this point, with nowhere to go and only time to waste, i wiped the tears from my eyes and set out to find an empathetic person thatl could manage to get dinner money from. If not, it wouidn?t have been the first time i had gone hungry for the night. I walked to the nearest bus stop and asked a handful of people for any spare change, none of whom that could help me. Sitting down on a nearby curb disappointed in grief of my current state, I put my head into my knees and began to sob. Out of nowhere, it seemed, a black stretch limousine turned the corner and stopped in front of the curb where I had been hopelessly lost. The back door opened to reveal a heavy weight and balding, old man with a big cheesy smiie. Neatly dressed in black trousers and a collared shirt, he was sitting next to a striking young, blonde girl, drop dead beautiful and dressed in a foxy red mini dress she looked like a model just stepping off a runway. Their smiles greeted me warmly and he kindly asked, ?What is such a sweet little girl like you doing sitting alone on the street looking so upset?? Shocked from this strangers concern I was hesitant in telling him the truth. Reluctantly I decided to teil him that I was a runaway, not from around here and really hungry. l-loping at most, I would get some money for food from him. He instantly displayed a chilling excitement and offered me to come into his car so we could talk some more. That Copyright l?rulecled Millerial CONFIDENTIAL U4 should?ve been my first queue to get out of there quick but with no where to go, and so naive I didn?t realize how much worse it could get. Setting foot into that limo, I made my first entrance into a world that would entrap me for many years to come. He introduced himselfimmediately as Ron Eppinger, a businessman and owner of a successful modeling agency, called ?Perfect 10?. launting his oozing wealth by introducing one of his many girlfriends, the beauty next to him was Yana, a supposed modei from the Czech Republic who looked like she could be in her early twenties with the heavy load of makeup she was wearing, but really was only in her late teens. She kissed me on both cheeks and politely said ?Hello? in a thick Czech accent, making me feel a little more at ease. Convinced it couldn?t be that bad there was another girl in the car, right? i couldn?t be more wrong. What he didn?t tell me to begin with was that his modeling agency was only posing for an undercover trade. By the time I found out I thought it was too late to run. His business was really an illegal immigrant traf?cking ring of young women mostly consisting of underage girls that he was using as escorts to make him uber rich. Only available to a selective clientele costing them anywhere from $1000.00 and over per hour of erotic entertainment, the girls were trained to fulfill every sexual desire asked of them, no matter how bizarre the requests might be. The high paid escorts, for Ron?s super rich clientele, such as Yana and many other charismatic beauties would only bene?t a fraction of their earnings for themselves, Ron reaping in the majority of the ?nancial rewards and being they were ail illegal immigrants they were further trapped by his enslavement. I proceeded to introduce myself, besides what he had found out about me on the curbside. Telling him my name and a little about how I ended up on the streets explaining that I could take care of myself and didn?t need my family or anyone to look after me anymore. Looking back later in life I can now admit I was in a terrible state, but being such a headstrong teenager, I refused to give in. He asked my age and I told him I was sixteen at first. He coyly replied, ?Are you sure? I think you could be teliing me a fib? How old are really? I wont be mad? Being a terrible liar, I knew had been caught out and couldn ?t deny it any further. I told him the truth and he chuckled then paused and answered in a very serious tone As long as you never lie to me again I will take you in? Right away I pondered to myself what did he mean. . .take me in? He gave the driver the location of our destination and rolled the middle window back up to then tell me a story of how his daughter had passed away seven years ago from a horri?c car accident in which four other teens were killed and he has never gotten over it. I reacted with sheer El Copyright l?rolecled Milleriul CONFIDENTIAL sympathy and gave him my pity, believing this man had a heart. His next proposal was eerie, he said,? If you wanted, I can be your new Daddy. Someone to take care of you and you?ll be my new baby forever? he stroked my hair such as a caring parent would comfort a scared child. A part of me wanted to accept his words and believe he really could feel that way, and then I also considered how hard it was living on the streets. In the end I convinced myself this would be the lesser of two evils. The car stopped at a plaza on the water, surrounded by little boutique shops, restaurants, and little stalls with items for sale like sunglasses and costume jewelry. I didn?t know what act, it all happened so fast I just went along with everything he said, for now. We went to a take out restaurant and ate on the waterside, and afterwards he took me to Kids co. to dress me in his idea of proper attire, tiny cutoff shorts revealing the cusp of my buttocks and some shirts that barely fit, even the sales assistant was shocked at what she thought was my Grandfathers choice in clothing. I couldn?t even believe it myself only an hour ago I was begging for money living on the streets and now I was dining alfresco and shopping at name brand outlets. We then hit a couple of more specialty stores afterwards. He said he had to buy me a few more necessities to start with. Lacy G-strings and what looked to me like lingerie pieces I had only seen grown women wearing in magazine ad?s or movies was now a part of my wardrobe, in my mind it was a big step up from being a little girl any longer. The driver took us back to Ron?s grand apartment overlooking the isle of Key Biscayne and a large bridge leading into a Miami Harbor. Entering his residence, I was blown away by the spectacular view, rich decor, and white marble floors that were so glossy it looked as ifl was stepping on glass. He took my shopping bags to a large room at the back of the apartment and put them into a small closet. The room was considerably large with glass exterior walls that maximized the potential of the panorama landscape soaking in the seascape of Miami. In the room was a gigantic round bed raised off the floor by three steps and mirrors on the ceiling. It looked like a honeymoon suite out of a raunchy hotel. He then exclaimed, ?This is my room here and you will be sharing it with me? When I asked him where I would sleep he then sickly replied ?With me silly, where else of course?? With no room for argument I pretended to be O.K with everything that my common sense was screaming out in my head to run. Next I was taken down a long hall at the other end of the apartment to meet ?ve more exotic beauties. Three girls were in their late teens and the other two in were in their early twenties. All of them were from the Czech, here under false passports provided by Ron and his contacts. Yana held my hand while introducing me to the group of girls as ?Baby? a pet Copyright l?rulecled Millerial CONFIDENTIAL 136 name she came up with for me, being I was the youngest one among them or ever to be brought in by Ron for that matter. It became my new identity not even worrying to mention my real name to anyone anymore. My identity was no longer important to myself, I wanted to become someone new and ?Baby? is who I was. A shocking first impression, the girls were completely nude revealing their voluptuous young bodies with such a careless ease and others were in just a G-string, similar to the one?s Ron had bought me earlier. They were all stunning girls and full of life. Charismatic and beautiful, they were the girls who should be on the front ofbillboards not selling their bodies to old crewed men for sex. Doing each other?s make-up in front of the mirror and chatting away on the bed with no care in the world, aiming at persuading me to see the highlights of the life Ron gave them and they almost did. Ron left the room for a few moments, letting us all get to know each other a little better and that?s when i started to compile an understanding of what really went on here. Just catching a bit of their conversation from before my introduction, 1 heard them chatting about the night they were preparing for. Speaking excitedly about some men they would be entertaining in a few hours, one girl was talking about going out to sea with one 0 these clients on a yacht for a few days. Since none of the girls seemed shy to talk about their professions or anything for that matter, I decided to ask them a few questions about what they did. They were more than happy to expand on their point of view in the conversation, attempting to paint a pretty picture of what they were paid to do. They all began to jump up and down with excitement like giddy school girls at a slumber party. Another girl with jet-black hair and a thick accent, wearing absolutely nothing at all, grabbed me onto the bed with them and into their fiasco, instantly making me feel accepted into their sorority, like actually belonged somewhere for once. Yana went on to explain a little more in detail, We accompany the wealthy friends of Ron. They want only beautiful girls by their side so we come and act however they want us too but most importantly we make them think we want them back too.? Other girls began to jump in with their vivid points of view while playing with my hair, they were taking turns brushing and styling it as they were ?lling my head with all of the prospects I could have as an escort too. They made me feel beautiful like them, too beautiful for what a girl beyond my years should feel. I was simply being lured into a dangerous trap, just like they had been at a young age too. It pretty much all came down to two things in their game, the money they would make and the lifestyle they were given. Their enthusiasm only interested me further, making it not only sound like an acceptable way of living but also appearing to keep them all vivaciously satisfied. This way Copyright l?rolecled Millerial CONFIDENTIAL of life was just mind blowing to even comprehend at ?rst. With such a new Outlook of the world to try and grasp at my young age I was listening to every word spoken to me with such attentiveness, I was going to try and model what I was observing from the girls. I justi?ed their way of thinking in my head for now, thinking if all these girls seem happy enough, why couldn?t I try to be, it was this or the streets for me. Ron came back for me not long after our conversation got out of hand and took me to a bathroom down the hall. He opened the tap and ?lled a small plastic cup with water and handed me two small blue oval pills. Telling me to take them both as they would help me to relax a little bit more. I swallowed the pills just following his orders. I put the cup on the counter top and turned back around to face him. Backing me up against the wall and now cornered by this large man I felt his slithering hands began to creep under my shirt, writhing my skin. I closed my eyes and turned my head away from him, hoping he would take my actions as a sign of being extremely uncomfortable but that wouldn?t bother him at all. He was half enjoying my reaction from the smug look on his face, and persisted through it. Continuing to undress my clothes he said he wanted to look me over and clean me up. It was so humiliating having to expose myself to this ageing man and now I knew he was going to end up with his hands and whatever else all over me. All too soon I hated to be right, as I stood naked before his widened eyes, he told me ?you?re a hairy bugger I?ll have to shave you right up young lady?, and I didn?t know he wasn?t just talking about my legs. Standing with my legs wide apart while this man coaxed me through the entire ordeal of shaving, his hands made me feel so dirty. ?Have I lost my mind?? I thought to myself but 1 had to play nice until I had an opportunity to getaway, this was not as fun as the girls made it out to be after all, this was utterly disgusting. 1 had no idea what was going to happen next with this guy, and due to whatever pharmaceuticals he gave me, I still don?t know to this day. Waking up the next morning my head was pounding in an agonizing thumping pain and I was so thirsty. The satin sheets thankfully covered my body, which was still nude from the night before, and I could hear hushed voices standing over the bed where I was pretending to still be asleep. Listening in on their conversation I kept my eyes shut. I knew Ron?s voice from two of the men but not recognizing the other guys Ijust stayed quiet hoping they?d soon leave. Ron was telling the other man what atrocities he got up to the night before with me and I heard him say, ?Doesn?t she even look like an angel the way she sleeps? She?s my own little angel!? He exclaimed proudly. 1 opened my eyes and rolled over to face them both having to wrap the sheets over my body, really not knowing what to say except ?Good-morning? in a blushful tone. Ron Copyright l?rolecled Mnlerial CONFIDENTIAL 138 introduced me to his business partner and told to go get dressed. He had my whole day planned out for me already. Booked into get my hair colored, a much lighter tint ofblonde, and afterwards a day of shopping with the girls I was becoming exactly what he wanted me too, a carbon copy of the teenage only I wasn?t plastic and came with many benefits. Days turned into weeks, being a servant to the sexual desires of this distorted pervert. I dreamt of escaping but where would I go and how would I get away from Ron with him controlling my every second of my day. Separating myself from the other girls being so uncomfortable with enduring the everyday occurrences I was longing for the solitude of the beach again. They were training me up to be an escort prodigy or something like it. Outrageous orgies were conducted as my lessons with the girls teaching me all of their tricks in the game, it was all for the sake of men?s perverted fantasies, they didn?t get anything from being sexually exploited and molesting each other, except getting paid for it. Everything from oral sex too penetration with toys, was expected to not only to join in but even perform ludicrous acts of hedonism. was Thirteen years old and had never heard the terminology of these sexual acts before, and de?nitely shouldn?t have been learning them ?rst hand. Thrown into a world ofchaos, I didn?t know what to do except be as compliant as possible, even when asked to do the most degrading tasks. The excitement of the lifestyle he offered quickly diminished once I had to pay so dearly for it. The girls that subdued to this lifestyle and enjoyed it de?nitely put on a. good act, but no little girl with hopes and dreams of their untainted future, turns to her mother and say?s ?one day I dream of being a prostitute, passed around from man to man, only to grow older regretting so much of my life? It was all a part of an illusion that Ron painted for us that made it seem so alluring in the first place. Spending my days with Ron, he took advantage at every chance given. Even in his convertible with the top down I would be forced to go topless while he drove around, when I asked him why one day, it was supposedly so I could maintain an even suntan, but I knew it was his way of showing off his treasures. It was a far cry from the simple country life I had been raised in. Wearing designer miniskirts and tops that always revealed too much, ofcourse due to Ron and the girls determining everything I wore, ate, or spoke. We would spend our days at hair laser clinics, shopping, tanning beds, and eating as little as possible. Through the nights we were expected to become party animals and greet Ron?s clientele with the upmost ?irtatious attention and doting as possible. Then whether we were out for dinner, at a party, or at a club, the men would choose his girl and take her home. Every girl had a different price and so did the charges depending on the various clienteles but Ron always kept me for himself. Copyright l?rolecled Mnleriul CONFIDENTIAL I would always dread the end of every night, fearing what new desires he had in-store for the evening. Sometimes he would hurt me and tell me to try and enjoy it then do it over and over again until I gave him exactly what he wanted, I always resisted until I could no more, he was too overpowering and relentless at getting the results he wanted. At other times he could be so gentle and caress my skin, worshiping every inch of my body, all relying upon on what mood he was in. Often though he liked to play the teacher role and instruct me on every motion and explain what would happen when I did those certain things to him. No matter what he did to me I was only disgusted with myself more and more. I still shudder at the thought ofhow he used my body. I turned fourteen in August that same year and was spending my birthday loaded on a concoction of pharmaceuticals and alcohol, being generously supplied by the very man who swore his devotion to caring for my every need. I didn?t even know myself any longer, completely shying away from the girl I had grown up to be until to this point. The apartment was empty except for me, for the time being, and that was God?s own little present for me. . .some solitude for once I thought. Pouring myself another drink I opened the sliding glass doors to the balcony and walked to the edge. Looking down from the many stories where Ron?s apartment was, I wished myselfa happy birthday out loud and wondered if my family even remembered the day?s occurrence. Dwelling in my sadness for the fourteen years of suffering and loneliness I had already endured, the tears swelled up in my eyes, trickling downwards making my eyeliner inevitably leak down my cheeks. Inside I felt so trapped and began to entertain the thought of jumping over the edge, it all seemed much easier, and the simple blackness that death had to offer rather than the tangled mess I was so tired of ?ghting to get out of seemed a much easier approach. Detached from wanting to feel anything, i became so numb towards my life?s own tragedies. I couldn?t live like this any longer. I lifted my bare legs over the edge of the railing and sat looking at the ground beneath me so close to even just slipping off the edge to my very death. I couldn?t think of any reason not to fall. I thought I had made too many bad decisions to keep going on but some force ofa higher nature had other things in store for me. The sliding door slammed open with a burst of speed and Ron scooped me up in his big arms and brought me inside to our bedroom. Laying me down and seeing the look of despair in my eyes from my tear stained face he went into the bathroom cupboard and returned with three pink pills. Forcing me to swallow them using the angered tone of his voice he thought he was turning my sorrows into a distant dream as I passed out in El Copyright l?rulecled Millerial CONFIDENTIAI . I40 his tight clutches, crying myself all the way to sleep. He didn?t even ask me what was wrong, probably because he knew already. Soon enough the crumbling of his evil empire in the underworld of selling sex for his own advantage began with a single crack in his perfect scheme, and proudly it all started with me. Ron got a scare one-day and rampaged through his apartment telling us girls to only pack our important belongings and some clothes as we all had to leave right away. I didn?t have much belonging to me so I basically sat there watching everyone rush around frantically and was curious what could?ve gotten a man like Ron so scarred. Once we were packed up and in the limo he was trying to calm the frantic girls down after all the panic that spread through the apartment like wild?re, I was the only one sitting there half amused at the entire situation. He began by assuring us that everything was going to be fine. Calmly he continued to tell all of us packed in even for a limo, that we were all taking a long trip to Florida?s because someone has reported an anonymous tip to the missing persons unit at the local police station identifying a very young girl as a possible victim of abuse living at his apartment. Ron knew what a landmine of trouble he had brought upon himself making an exhibition out of me on the streets of Miami, I didn?t pull off the older look like the other girls, I actually looked younger than my age with my blue eyes and freckles always giving the impression of my youthful innocence. Now he just had to do whatever it took to ensure he stayed as far away from the authorities as possible. Arriving at a ranch in central lorida many hours later and I assumed it belonged to Ron knowing never to ask him things like that. I knew my purpose and it wasn?t prying into his personal life outside of the bedroom. There was a main house, a few cottages, some staff quarters and paddocks where the horses were kept. was in heaven. . .I thought at first. Finally, something I could really enjoy. Riding was my passion, basically growing up on the backs of horses since I was just able to walk. Not surprisingly I began to despise Ron and all of the girls for the gross exploits they made me do with them. Beginning to isolate myself from everyone I?d rather spend my time sitting under a tree watching the horses graze, writing in my journal or painting but mostly avoiding everyone possible unless Ron required me elsewhere. Nighttime was always a reoccurring nightmare for me. Relived over and over again in many various ways. Ron would always start by making me some drinks and offering an assortment of pills before indulging himself by grotesquely putting his genitals in my mouth and tell me how to give him what he would call a ?first-class blow-job?, and I was being judged every minute of it. Ordering me to slowdown or speedup or maintain a perfect Copyright l?rolecled Millerial CONFIDENTIAI . GllIlTRl'zOO-l L11 was constantly being criticized for my efforts in pleasing him. I was eager when he actually gave me a compliment. The rest of the evening was always a surprise left up to a moments notice. Quite regularly he would proceed with having the girls dress me up in some sexy outfit and loads of makeup then entertain him with a lesbian reenactment revolving him in the center. Sometimes they would use dildos and other foreign sex toys, Ron liked to see us hurt during sex, sometimes even penetrating me anally but I always resisted and would try to redirect him with another sexual desire of his but I had no excuses when it came to me having to use the sex toys on him, he told me how men have g-spots in their rectum and instructed me on how to precisely penetrate him. These nights went on what seemed like an eternal sentence for the price of not living on the streets, where unfortunately for the one?s still there, I feared and knew from my own personal experience, could be much worse. Needing some contact with someone of my adolescent mentality I called one of my school friends from the past, whom I wont name out of privacy, but I?ll call him T.J. We were so close and I knew very well, so well, I had memorized his number a long time before. He was my first puppy love sprung from ofa childhood friendship. Being my very first crush the summer before all of this happened he was the only person I could think of that would care enough to talk to me. In the middle of the day, the least busy time to be noticed, I snuck into one of the vacant guest rooms and used the phone to call my good friend. The sound ofmy voice radiated a chill in him. ?It?s you, oh my God Jennal Are you okay?? he was so shocked to hear from me and the sheer fact I was still alive. Nearly three months now without a single word to my family or friends, every one doubted my return. My attempt to forge a happy voice when I spoke to him failed and I absolutely crumbled when he was at a. loss for kind words for me. I told him of my current state of affairs. Telling him of Ron and how I was terrified of him, trying to escape in the middle of nowhere was useless. It was like being kept in cage that I was unable to break free from. Going on to dump my issues on T.J, I proceeded with how I longed to call my family and to be with my them for good but was too afraid they didn?t want me, knowing I?djust be sent away somewhere else again and to me after all this time was like going from one cage to another. He had been called by them numerously and promised me that they were very worried and even hired private investigators to try and find me. Given I was eleven years old the first time I was sent away, my trust in there sincerity he spoke about was seriously doubted. I kept the conversation short just in case my absence was being noticed and I left on the note that I would speak to him again shortly. l-Iis attempts to get off Copyright l?rolecled Mnlerial CONFIDENTIAI . I42 the phone were nothing short of desperate plea to keep me on as long as possible. I thought he was just trying to help in someway. Giving him assurance in the fact I had survived this long obviously I can hold off a while longer I gave him my love and told him I?d be in touch. Thinking I had slipped away unnoticed I entered into the room that I shared with Ron, hoping I got away with my brief and very needed phone call. The place looked empty and everyone else seemed to be out and about so I decided to have a bath in the spa and try to relax before the night?s precautions. My body glided into the steamy water as I began to think about TI and how good it felt just to hear from a friendly voice. My thoughts drifted into the days I missed when I felt I could be silly and childlike and I nearly forgot for a moment how grown up I was acting these days. My first glimpse at the image surrounding me when I resurfaced above the water was daunting. There was Ron was standing over my tub, looking down at me with an eager display of his arousal. He began to undo his pants and take them down when he told me ?put your lips on my cock?, I was too slow in responding to his request so he grabbed me by the back of the head and forced me into his groin. I had tears streaming down my face as I looked up to him with the saddest blue eyes hoping he would take pity and stop, but he never did. I was really hurt by his aggression and he de?nitely knew it this time, which I believe only made him more heated. I closed my eyes and began to count using the time to keep my thoughts elsewhere believing every number I counted only furthered me to the end of this. I just got over a hundred when he finally exploded in fulfillment still half submerged in the deep bath I was struggling to gain my bearings in as Ron was picked me up out of the bath and carried me to go to the bedroom, which was just outside the French adjoin doors. Still damp from the hot water in the spa I had goose bumps from the chill of the fresh air where he brought me to the bed and proceeded to deeply violate my every being. Eventually his scars that he left were too deep ever to be healed and would even carry on through the years to come. Upon his bursting with pleasure for the second time, he just got up and left, without even saying a word to me. Left alone I was awake for hours after that. There was no escaping the pain that night. I lay naked wrapped in the sheets, sobbing in the dark. My feelings of being hurt and disgusted after his abusive ordeal ?When will it ever stop? I prayed to God and begged for death rather than face another day in my life. I woke up still alone the next day and exasperated from the misery I felt the night before. Ushering through my drawers to find something to throw on I could care less what lay in store for me today, couldn?t be as bad as being raped by a scary man repeatedly. 10 El Copyright l?rolecled Mnlerial CONFIDENTIAI . (illiFFRl'zOO-l L13 Starting my day with a few of the supplied oxytocin?s and a bloody mary, made by the live-in house chef. Having two celery sticks for my breakfast, I wanted to lye out by the pool and forget the world. Ron hated tan-lines so to be caught with a bikini top on was a big no?no in his rule book but after my cries to stop were so blatantly ignored last night, I was out to piss him off so I didn?t remove my shirt. I put on my headphones and before I knew it had fallen into a deep slumber from my self-made therapeutic cocktail, the only way I knew how to cope with the emotional turmoil on the inside. Desperate to hear his voice I called my friend TJ a few more times that week. I needed to feel like someone out there really knew me. Sometimes we could just chat like old friends with no care in the world and laugh at a distant memory from too long ago. Then would come the good-bye part of the conversation and we would both get teary-eyed not knowing what could happen next or if this would even be the last time we ever spoke to each other again. My biggest fear came to reality when I was in our bedroom one afternoon, just lounging around out of boredom. Ron came bursting in through the door, red as a tomato. I couldn?t help but feeling I was in big trouble. His face was distorted and raging towards me. I knew right away he must have found out that I was calling T.J, but how, I had no idea. I had always tried to be as invisible as possible, soon enough it was all explained. ?Are you trying to get me caught? You are nothing but a stupid girl you know that! What am I supposed to do with you now?? He was tearing up the room while his rants gave me something else to think about. What would he do with any longer? I wasn?t even thinking about him being caught for soliciting illegal immigrants for the purpose of prostitution. I was more worried that he would be upset at the fact I was talking to another guy, maybe even jealous that he was at least my age. I replied with simple sentences that I could manage to get out between all the shouting. I kept saying, ?I?m sorry? and putting my head down in shame. He picked me up by my throat pinning me against the wall, ?You are going away, far -far away from me and you better be nicer to the next man I send you to, I?ve heard he?s not a nice as most would like. Are you fucking hearing me Bitch?? I slid down the wall, choking on the ?rst air entering my lungs, breathless and terri?ed, I never thought Ron was a nice guy but I had never seen him lose it this bad. Now I was being sent me away to another stranger, another man, it only terri?ed me more. The girls came in to say their good-byes all of them were crying and asking me in their best English languages, why I had to call someone and lose everything? I was able to find out through the broken sobs off of 11 El Copyright I?rolecled Mnlerial CONFIDENTIAL I44 them that the confession came from the house-keeper who said she saw me use the room regularly but was never messed up, so Ron looked at the recent telephone bills and found the same number dialed from that room consecutively, he knew it was me right away. At least he didn?t know it was another guy, thought to myself, or I probably wouldn?t have made it out of there alive. Ron came back to usher the girls out of my room and told me I had five minutes to pack my clothes, which he made clear were to be my only belongings to take with me. He washed his hands clean of me that night, or so he thought. The driver came knocking at my door, just as Ron said, no longer than the five minutes that he had offered me and he took my single bag to the car. I didn?t want all the jewelry, music or books that he so caringly bought me as tokens of his twisted affection. Only taking my clothes and a wad ofhundred dollar bills I had been saving, I slit a hole in my scrunchie inserting my cash for a rainy day that I was more than sure was just around the corner. . We drove for hours, until I started seeing familiar surroundings. I couldn?t believe my own eyes. I was back in Miami, but not on the beaches, somewhere in the CBD this time. The Driver delivered me to the front door with my one bag and waited at the door with me. Now I knew how it felt to be a puppy picked from her litter as you can only hope your next owner would treat you with some sort of kindness. Another balding man answered the door but he wasn?t so grotesquely fat like Ron, but still a new owner at that. He looked me up and down and seemed amused as he snickered to himself. With one last look to the driver over my shoulder it was almost an appeal to him for some way to help me. I knew he couldn?t anyways, I wasjust hoping. He told me his name was Charlie but didn?t even bother in asking me for mine. 1 was sure Ron already filled in all of my details when he arranged this. Charlie picked up my bag and led me into his bachelor pad townhouse. I was never given a welcoming tour of my new residence or made to feel comfortable. He walked me up the stairs and opened one of the doors in the small hallway. Telling me this would be my room, he showed me into it and told me to wait, he would be back shortly. I sat on my bed afraid to touch anything and after the warning Ron gave me I knew I had to watch my step around here. I put my head down onto the pillows my where world was falling apart and let my emotions downpour. Exhausted from the days emotional turmoil I ended up falling asleep. I don?t even know if he ever came in at all that night. The next morning I looked out of the window to see my new surroundings. It was a beautiful sunny day outside, unlike the dreary cell I was locked away inside of. Feeling the sun warm up my face thrOugh the glass, it radiated a familiar sense of comfort from the days of the good 12 El Copyright l?rolecled Mnlerial CONFIDENTIAL parts of my childhood. I reminisced how it had used to be before all my life turned upside down. Before all of the fights with my family, before I had to look after myself, and before I was a slave to men. Those days were too long gone now. With too many hard times passing me by it seemed surreal to think that life had ever even existed in the ?rst place. With that thought I shook myself out of reminiscing that way. Whatever was going to happen was out of my control now, Ijust had to give myself some hope that I would have the strength to get myself out these Circumstances before anything really bad happened. Chapter 2 The house was quiet so I just assumed Charlie was still asleep. I decided to get cleaned up and have a shower. Not even a knock on the door when Charlie walked in with ease. ?Typical? I thought. It was an easy way for Charlie to break the ice. ?You really are as beautiful as Ron said? as he opened the curtain. Watching me rinse myself in the shower and me knowing I had no way out of this except to go along with whatever he wanted. I just looked down at the mention of Ron?s name, wondering what else he had told Charlie about me. Realizing later that he wouldn?t have said anything anyways, in fear I would?ve been a damaged product that wouldn?t make him the money that young girls go for. He just sat on the side of the vanity top and continued to take observations of me standing submerged under the falling water. I avoided looking at him and let him do all the talking, after all I knew what importance, that is if he was anything like Ron. Between the water beating down over my head I could hear him ramble on about some club and restaurant he owned in FT. Lauderdale. He said he was going to take me shopping for some club outfits and we would party together tonight, as if I was supposed to be excited over this so-cailed treat of his. I looked up and gave him a quick smile adding a compliant nod and turned my attention to turning off the faucets and quickly grabbing my towel. I was falling so far from who I used to be, shying away from my outgoing personality to a quiet girl that didn?t even recognize herselfin the mirror anymore. I dried myself off and looked at the man standing between the doorway and me. He was still watching me with a sleazy look on his face but now preceded to move in my direction, arms wide open. He embraced me, running his hands up around my youthful curves, licking my neck and earlobes. Then his large, rough hands cupped my small breasts and continued downwards to feel in between my legs. I 13 El Copyright l?rolecled Molerial CONFIDENTIAL I46 knew what I had to do to get this over and done with as quick as possibie, but I was dreading this moment from the second he greeted me at the door last night. I feil to my knees and gave into his demented perversions. Thankfully it didn?t last long before he climaxed and I was allowed to get myself dressed and ready to go out. was nothing but money well spent in his mind. This was another extremely wealthy man with a completely new set of wants and needs asking a fourteen year old girl to affectionately dote on sexual desires to a man in his mid forties. I realiy hated myself, these men, and just about everything my life had boiled up to by this point, but I knew from a young age that to survive in this harsh worid I would have to do many things I would not willingly choose to. At the shops he decided he would choose the clothes he paid for, which I might as well have been declared a teenage prostitute. Just like Ron he also liked it that way. The more degrading he was to me only proved his ownership of my body. He bought are tiny cocktail dresses, and skimpy out?ts, which I thought closely, resembled the lingerie he?d also bought for me to wear for him. I noticed that day that he enjoyed parading me around the shopping mall and out for lunch at hooters, even joking with the waitress that he?d like to buy her uniform because he thought it?d look sexy on his new girlfriend. We arrived at his two in one, Restaurant and Club, at around nine o?clock in the evening, It was a revolving tower called ?Hot Chocolates? in downtown Ft. Lauderdale. The food was delicious and for the ?rst time since being with Ron, I ordered a hefty meal with steak and mashed potatoes with a scrumptious gravy smothered on top. Charlie ordered strong cocktails for us both and before I knew it my head was spinning and we were on the dance ?oor together. The music blared in my head and the of my body took over, completely forgetting about even dancing with Charlie and letting the music take ahold and work it?s magic. It didn?t do me any justice though as Charlie watched me imagining what pleasures lay in store for him later on. Taking me home before the club had even closed, he just couldn?t wait to indulge on exactly what he was fantasizing from beforehand. Once back at his townhouse he led me up the stairs into his bedroom and pushed me down in the middle of his bed. The motions from the wavy mattress made me dizzy and feel even drunker when he lay on top of me. Coming at me like a hungered beast wanting to ravage his next meal, it was intimidating as he entered into me with a forceful thrust, he moaned out in delectable heaves. I looked away while he self indulged his own gratifying needs using my body as his instrument in pleasure. I only grew stronger in my head letting the hatred for men desires intensify. 14- El Copyright l?rolecled Molerial CONFIDENTIAL L17 The next two weeks I was expected to be at Charlie?s beckon cail, never aloud to leave his side, even making me sleep in his bed from the second night onwards. I never even got the chance to call T.J again. It was too much of a risk anyways. Thus pushing him further out of my memory, too afraid, of the emotional repercussions Our typical routine was to wake up get showered and dressed and I would put on my make-up while Charlie made his business calls for the day. We would leave the house mid-afternoon and run his errands do some shopping, sometimes meeting his friends or business partners for lunch, none of the men he introduced me to seemed offended at his choice of adolescent candy. They?d just continue to chat away as ifit was normal to be in public with his arms draped over a girl young enough to be his granddaughter, not too shy by giving me a ?irty tap on my bottom or even try to kiss me. My last night was no different from every other night. We went shopping that day and out for lunch alone. Later we headed to a club his friend just launched and it was his grand opening that night. The club was cailed ?Iguana Joe?s?. We met up with his friend and said our heilos. They both seemed so excited about the ciub and Charlie was full of compliments ail around. The club did have a line out the door which looked a mile tong coming in, luckiiy we didn?t have to use the front door. Charlie returned from the bar with two giant long-island iced teas, which were his favorite drink to start with and then we just sat for a while watching peopie dancing. Occasionally conversing about passing thoughts. We danced for a while having a few more drinks and after about two hours, Charlie said he was ready to go home. What a daunting time to look forward to, he always iiked to have a brief sexual encounter before drifting off to sleep with my naked body intertwined between his arms and legs. It was bad enough to have to entertain him at every given second of the day but his grip on me was so sti?ing I felt so chocked could hardiy breathe much less sleep. Eventually my over-worked mind would drift in- and?out of a restless sleep, but constantly on edge. I thought many of nights ofescaping, but where would I go? Would one of Ron?s ever-so- connected informants finds me and turns me into him to be disposed of for good? I just prayed that I wouldn?t be another missing person to add to the list of girls found in the local ditches. I knew that?s where I was headed if I screwed this up for Ron again. As if my guardian angel was there the whole time listening to my secret prayers, my rescue came the next morning with an abrupt bursting through the bedroom door at about six am. Charlie and I were stili lying in bed together and his grip on me was still tight. The men dressed in all black military gear had large guns and helmets on. It was so frightening 15 El Copyright l?rolecled Mnlerial CONFIDENTIAL I48 at first. I couldn?t even comprehend what was happening so rapidly. I thought Charlie could?ve been in some kind of trouble with a business friend he had done wrong too, but then one of the men in black shouted this is a raid get down with your hands on you head?, in too much shock to move three of the men grabbed Charlie and threw him to the floor and cuffed him. I sat up in bed with my sheets covering my naked body and watched as they dragged Charlie from the room. Still completeiy nude he wasn?t even aloud to get dressed. Another agent had to come back in to the room to find him a pair of shorts. I could hear him screaming at the top of his lungs all of the way outside He was screaming and the last thing I heard him yet! was ?If you say anything you know who wiil ?nd you!? I could hear more threats being yelled at me but I couldn?t make out what it was that he was saying. I was in total confusion and couldn?t believe what was happening. There were so many uniformed agents I felt so small compared to ali of them but they were all very kind and helped me out of bed allowing me to remain covered up with the bed sheets so I could get dressed. The first decency I had been showed in a iong time. It was an odd feeling to acknowledge. I knew the life I had come accustomed to for the last six months was now over, and in so many ways I was reiieved but was also very nervous about what lay ahead of me. I excused myself to the bathroom to put some clothes on. Not having anything half decent, like a normal pair ofjeans and a t-shirt. The best I could come up with was a metallic blue miniskirt and a tiny matching top that fell just below my breasts, hardiy ciothing at all it was more like scraps of cioth. Putting my hair up in a tight bun with the scrunchie that held my five hundred doliar bills I was led out of Chariie?s townhouse for the very iast time. Starting my life over. . .again, I wanted to leave behind my every memory belonging to these horrid times. Only taking small sack containing my underwear, makeup bag, andjournal with me. The agents led me down the staircase and my last vision?s of Charlie was bent over the hood ofa police vehicle still screaming and handcuffed. I slipped into the backseat of the car and was driven to Broward County Police Station where the Federal Agents interviewed me about my entire whereabouts for the last six months. I was so scared of what Ron would do if I told the agents what really happened but at the same token I knew he?d most likely kill me anyways for being such a liability. Over the next few hours I sat down and told the agents how Ron?s business worked and what I part I had to play to him. I was able to ask how they found out I was at Charlie?s house and they informed me that I was being followed all the way from Ocala, Florida where Ron had me stowed away for the last four months. TJ, my friend, calied my parents 16 El Copyright l?rolecled Mnlerial CONFIDENTIAL L19 after our first phone conversation and ever since then, the .B.I were tapping the phone tines and recording every conversation. Completely unaware of caring act of deceit, I was in such shock that they had been tracking us for so tong. I knew now, with or without my help, the FBI had enough on Ron to put him away for a very long time, if they could catch him, that is. Having so many crooked people working for you can be an advantage when you?re in trouble. Like having a pair of eyes in every city. Ron was somehow able to find out about Charlie?s arrest and immediately deserted the country to avoid legal punishment, not to mention the discretization of his esteemed clientele that the feds were now on to. Ron had so many countless charges put up against him, eventually when the FBI were able to track him down they were able to have him arrested in Yugoslavia and extradited back to Miami, he was ?nally held accountable for being a pedophile, soliciting women for prostitution, and running many illegitimate and illegal businesses. By the time the FBI caught him he was in his mid-seventies when he died of old age serving his second year prison for a sentence. Coincidentally I was told of his punishment and death many years later by one of the same .B.E agents that had rescued me from Charlie?s arms. I was taken out of the interrogation room after the interview was over with and told to sit at one of the officer?s desk while I was waiting for someone to pick me up. Uncertain of who that someone would be I assumed it would be someone from the juvenile delinquents division to take me back to some state operated lockdown facility. Not the nicest of places to call home, but I had no choice in this matter. Sitting back in the revolving chair I was twirling out of boredom and listening to the roaming conversations within the office. I pondered in fearful anticipation of the dreadful places that lay in store for me. Having to of spent a lot of my adolescence in these kind of places for the sheer factor that my mother said was out ofcontrol and unable to handle? by eleven years old. There was plenty of just reason for me to be so scared of those places. What I knew lay in store for me were constant fights between the rough girls being settled with violent raids then out came the pepper spray and then the strip-searches and worst of all, no sunlight. It didn?t matter if you were a quiet, shy girl that didn?t belong there, when there was a fight, which was could be like a few times a week, every person in the room was considered a threat and were treated like a violent criminal. I hated those places and the memories they gave me. That?s why I aiways ended up back on the streets. No child or even a juvenile should have to be subjected to such unreasonable force and neglect. Some of the girls were so used to being subdued to this kind of treatment their 17 El Copyright l?rolecled Mnlerial CONFIDENTIAI . I 50 whole life they ended up repeating the same attributes as the people who initially hurt them in the ?rst place. One very sad girl I?ll never forget her, had a father who had been a heroine junkie and decided to play Russian Roulette with some of his addict friends and by fate or chance took the builet straight through his brain, killing him instantly. Her mother being a heroine addict herself spiraled downwards after his death and gave her four year old child to her ageing grandmother that eventually had to put my twelve year old friend in this un-dire circumstance. can only have he highest hopes for her today but unfortunately for most girls that have been victimized by society aren?t able to ever stop being a victim for the rest of their lives or go on to make other people victims themselves. A sad and unfortunate fate for so many innocent, and it happens so much more than anyone would rather admit too instead of just trying to find a solution. Chapter 3 Hours later I was still twirling myself in the same of?ce chair when I spun around to see my Father walking in my direction. I nearly fell off my seat at the sight of him. Gripping the chairs handles I couldn?t imagine what in the world I would say to the man I once used to eat] Daddy but now hated for the abandonment and unforgiving wounds he instilled inside of me. He contemplated putting his arms out to hold me but instead anger and shame took over and hejust shook his head. I never saw my Dad cry until that day and I have to say it made me feel young again and sad I had disappointed my parents again. The agents now standing beside us led both of us together back into the interrogation room to re-tale my journey to my father who they said I had no choice to tell, or they would have to tell him for me, being I was an under-aged minor and Ron violated the statutory rape iaw, among many others, when he took me back to his apartment and kept me as his sex slave. My Dad couldn?t believe what he was hearing and for his lack ofbetter choice in words asked me to stop talking, he wasjust happy to know I was alive. Like everyone I?d known in life they would rather brush it under the carpet and not deal with the pain rather than realizing sooner or later it at] comes out sometime in our life even if it transgresses into our future then becomes what we are willing to accept out of partners, work, and people in general. Simply saying in other ways than with words that our bad decisions befall our tragedies later on in life. The next discussion was led to where I would go to from here. Before anyone could put his or her suggestion forward I leapt in with my two bits and made it obviously clear to my Dad that if I was sent away to 18 El Copyright l?rolecled Mnlerial CONFIDENTIAI . 51 another lockdown facility and if he betrayed my trust, again, he would never see me again. I would disappear for good this time and for all he would know I could be dead in no time on the streets. He looked at me and for the first time in my life he saw the many years I had grown up in the time I was gone and heard the seriousness in the tone of my voice when I made my vow to him. He put his head in his hands and told me the bad news, my Mom didn?t want me to come home and she was making his life hell for even suggesting bringing me back into their lives. I for some reason threatened her lifestyle and drove her crazy. I had been surprised about a lot of things lately but not that one. The last time I saw my Mom she ever so carefully lied to me and told me she was bringing me to an eye-doctor for an infection. Instead we walked into this tall blue building with people in uniforms holding clipboards and a few muscly guards, she ushered me inside and hurried up to close the large auto lock doors behind her leaving me there alone and imprisoned, which is what led me to recently living on the streets. My life was hell as long as she was in control of it, so when she didn?t want me back at home I was fine with that too, but there had to be somewhere else I could go. My dad said he had no choice but to put me back into the facility, but he made a sincere promise that he would not take any longer than a week to try to find a place for me to stay and to go to school. A week I could deal with, but I was still unsure ifI could trust my father and hold him to his word, but yet again, had no choice. Being my legal guardian he could send me anywhere he wanted and there would be nothing I could do, except for keep running. I gave in, and before he left the officers to take me back to the last facility I had run from, I gave him one last hug and reminded him ?one-week and I?m gone?. Nodding his head and squeezing his arms tighter around me, I could only hope he meant it, but he didn?t look too optimistic. In the police car on the way back to the facility they had to handcuff me in case Iran again, but I had no intentions to anyways. I was going to give my dad the week before I began to search for the right opportunity to jolt again. I was like a ?ghost come back,? said so many of my girlfriends from the past and there was now a lot ofnew faces there too. At night when we were all in bed and supposed to be sleeping, I would be daydreaming of better days and imagine myself somewhere in a comfortable bed, actually enjOying my life for a change. A week went by in this facility spending most of my days locked up in what they called ?The White Room?, a bare room with concrete flooring, no toilet or even a chair to sit on. The only comfort I had was the blue sweater that was provided as part of the uniform, and my hair scrunchie ?lled with my stowed away cash that no one had found during my unpleasant strip- searches. I would spend hours in the white room for objecting to their 19 El Copyright I?rolecled Mulerial CONFIDENTIAI . I 52 conformity and unwilling to participate in their drilling regime. I didn?t feel like I owed any explanation to these people even when they brought a physiologist in to speak with me, ?What was the point when I would be gone any day now? and as if any of these people even cared in the ?rst place, I wasjust another number in the system and they had ajob to do. There was one mega?bitch, female guard, named Evelyn and she used to either really like you or really hate you and God-forbid you were one of the unfortunates that she didn?t like, she?d make your entire stay their an agonizing nightmare. Constantly picking on girls who were not strong enough to cope with their predicament or past issues, she?d stand them up and publicly humiliate them, and even when they begged her through their sobs to let them sit down, she?d only torment them worse. Which only made the strong girls want to antagonize the fragile one?s with more malicious intent. Luckily when I had previously been there she didn?t take much notice of me, but I stayed out of harms way with her, just being quiet and observant. Being back here seemed like an eternity while I held my end of the bargain but unfortunately my Father didn?t. The first chance I saw to run I took it. I was being sent to go get my blood and urine taken for drug and disease analysis. My driver would be a volunteer from the community and it was the perfect getaway for me. I was brought from the white solitaire room and led into the bright sun, feeling like today would be favorable in my escape. We got to the doctors office, my whereabouts told me I had plenty of ways to run and I scouted out the best looking route. My plan was to barge through the volunteer?s inexperienced grip and wriggle my way out if needed, then hit the asphalt, running until my legs couldn?t carry me any further. Playing it out in my mind felt different to the anticipation that led up to actually doing it. The inner- strength I had was the only thing going to help me in this circumstance. We arrived in the parking lot and I hadn?t said a word to him the entire drive, the small framed Spanish man tried to make pleasant conversation but I couldn?t see him as anything but a challenge, so I kept quiet instead, ignoring his humorous attempts to befriend me. The car pulled to a stop and he came around the side to unlock my door, this was it, ?here we go? I told myself, and pushed past the volunteer. His arms grabbed out at me but only caught me by my shirt, he didn?t even put up much ofa struggle, like some of the other trained one?s I had gotten before, they would put me into body locks of all sorts but he just tore at the collar of my shirt letting me break free. had done this many times before so I knew I wasn?t gone yet, I had to first get out of these clothes, The cops would be looking for someone of my description in the area with a blue shirt and khaki pants, so my first stop was a busy shopping complex. I took the money from my scrunchie and bought myself a pair of jeans, a shirt, and 20 El Copyright I?rolecled Mulerial CONFIDENTIAL I 53 a sweater for disguise and my next stop was Dunkin Doughnuts? to get a chocolate iced doughnut and a cup of coffee. I didn?t have doubts about getting out of the facility but I wasn?t expecting it to be so easy this time. My past excursions all began with an abrupt struggle sometimes ending in a brutal state of affairs after being pepper sprayed and fastened into some painful lock by forceful men four? times my size, then tossed into solitary until I saw my next chance to desert. I got to know the guards real well, as I spent a lot of my time being dragged down to the white room by them. There was Jim, a large black man who could?ve doubled for a ?Miami Dolphin?s? defensive linebacker. John was another big man with a ponytail and a mustache, and he looked like someone who de?nitely owned a Harley. The last guy Scott had a smaller build but made up for it with his steroid injected muscles bulging out ofhis neck and their was the added height from his curly fro. When they weren?t restraining me and holding me captive in solitaire, they were actually pretty nice guys, not afraid to have a laugh after some explosive incident and I held no contempt towards them either, they were just doing their jobs. It was de?ja?vous all over again, free at last but where would I go now. With Ron?s scouts on the lookout for me, and now the authorities being noti?ed I was a runaway again, I would have a lot of people searching for me, so I knew I had to be careful where I went. My last stop before leaving the shopping center was to use a payphone to call my parents, my Dad answered completely surprised to hear me on the other end, I wanted to sarcastically thank him for breaking his promise to me and I hope he is happy now, hejust lost his daughter for good. I stopped to listen to what he was trying to say and he told me was getting you out in a few days, I found you somebody to stay with, she?s a good person who has got teenagers your age, I wasjust trying to convince your Mother to sign the papers to get you out of there?. I was so outraged at her ability to put her own wants before the needs of her own flesh and blood daughter. I told him to come pick me up and bring me to the house so I could speak with her for the first time in over a year, but ifl felt threatened for one second I will be on my way quicker than a blink of an and on my own for good. He wasn?t overjoyed at my proposition, knowing what position this put him in as her husband but as my father he decided to put me ?rst for once and take me home to confront my mother. I arrived at my house for the ?rst time in a long time and everything looked different. My parents refurnished and renovated the house. I didn?t even have a room anymore, my old belongings and bed were removed and it was now the of?ce. Of course my Mom didn?t meet me at the gate or the front door like her long lost reunited. No, instead she 21 El Copyright l?rolecled Mnlerial CONFIDENTIAL I 54 waited for me to come ?nd her outback smoking cigarettes and having a beer. She stood up from her seat and squinted her eyes loathing in her hatred she coldly slapped me hard in the face. The slap stung, but I matched her look with a familiar stone-coldness that only she could understand. Immediately we both started to cry and we washed away our anguish and resentment through our tears and consolidated our feelings for the ?rst time since the chaos first affected our lives. She didn?t want to know much of my whereabouts and she still had a lot of anger to get over but she asked me to stay home at least. My little brother ran through the back door and hugged me so tight, I started to cry again and was saddened by how much time I had missed the time I had lostjust hanging out with my brothers and it took me even longer to realize how precious time really is. We were never going to be the average Joes next door but at least this was better than nothing. I loved being with my family again. We had and bon-fires with each other and life began to slowly piece back together. It was bizarre how normal it was when I first got home. I turned fifteen that year and it was the exact cup of tea that 1 had needed to boost me up and get me on the right track. I decided to go school to acquire my general education diploma or GED and got a summer job with my Dad at Mar-A-Lago, Donald Trumps exclusive country club in Palm Beach. Surrounded by lush acres of tropical landscapes, manicured gardens, and a mansion made into a beach club for the rich and famous it is known as the ?Jewel of Palm Beach?. I was in sheer awe at the gold arched ceilings and the grandeur ballrooms. The spa where I worked was world class, not only oozing in style but in the way each and every clientele was treated with the upmost service. My focus was now set on becoming a massage therapist, and working my way into a luxurious spa like the one I worked for now, only I was a locker?room attendant there. I studied many books about the anatomy of the human body and how you can affect a person?s well-being and health for the better through a simple healing touch. It was amazing to me the way the body responded to massage. I was more than just interested. I was determined to become a therapist. It was one of those anatomy books that I had my nose buried in one afternoon on a quiet Tuesday and it could get pretty lonely in the locker room, so ifl weren?t busy I?d sit outside by the spa?s reception and read my books in the warmth of the Florida sun. A lovely looking woman in her late thirties who spoke with a proper English accent approached me. I assumed it was a. general question, ?like where?s the ladies room or was that the famous model from so-and-so?? but she was more interested in the book I was reading. Only believing at first we were just making small talk she was really intrigued at my choice of reading. She then asked if I 22 El Copyright l?rolecled Mnlerial CONFIDENTIAL did massage on the side, I stated I was only reading the book and had not yet began to study but one day I would love to practice massage therapy. She introduced herself as Ghislane Maxwell, I would later find out that she was the daughter of the late prominent businessman and disgraced newspaper tycoon, Robert Maxwell. I told her my name is Jenna pointing to my nametag on my shirt and offered her a cold or hot beverage, as those were my instructed duties at work. She accepted a tea and went on to chat a bit about this rich guy that she worked for and she knew off- hand that he was looking for a massage therapist. Just doing me a good deed out of her kindness of her heart, I?m sure, she offered to introduce me to him, I declined her first proposition, thinking out loud, told her I didn?t know the body well enough to even attempt an interview. She didn?t seem worried at all by my fear of incompetence saying that if he liked me enough he would get me the best training in the industry. Ghislane thought I had a cheery persona and fit the quota for what he was looking for and as she put it an enthusiastic learner that she said she gathered from the sticky notes popping out of the various sections in my book. I accepted her phone number and the house address and told her I will call her if I am able to come over after work. I rushed over to the tennis courts where my dad was working and told him of the news. We both thought this could be a wonderful opportunity to get my accreditation in massage therapy. Seeing that it was a lady in her late thirties who came off as more of a nurturer rather than a procurer, neither of us saw any reason to be hesitant. Chapter 4 At around Five pm. my dad drove me down to the bottom of ?El Brillo Way.? on the Palm Beach intercostal. We pulled into a short driveway beckoning a large pink mansion with heavy wooden doors. Iwas so excited about this chance and asked my dad to wish me luck. He gave me a big squeeze and wished me the best. He walked me to the front door and I rung the door chime. Moments later we were greeted by an older gentleman dressed in a casual butler uniform. I told him I was here to meet Ms. Maxwell for a massage trial and he opened the doors for my father and telling us to wait in the entry as Ms. Maxwell would be on her way any second, and she was. Down the stairs she walked with a warm smile, her short black hair seeming very proper and elegant, for now. She shook my fathers hand and thanked him for bringing me and kissed us both on the cheeks. They spoke briefly about whom she worked for and about Mar-a-Lago where we worked. She was in hurry, you could tell to end the conversation and say good-bye to my dad, which she did so 23 El Copyright l?rulecled Mnlerial CONFIDENTIAI . 56 ever pleasantly. She said the boss was upstairs and waiting my arrival, so with that I said bye to my dad and began to follow Ghislane up the stairs. I was so nervous, but I didnjt show it. I kept my reserve and demeanor cool as ice, trying show maturity for the open position. We continued on to the massage room, passing by a grand chandelier, and a couple wooden hall tables displaying a multitude of photos displaying young girls and beautiful women, trying not to gawk at them I didn?t even notice that some of those girls were only wearing their smile. Ghislane asked me how my day at work was and I told her it was easy peasy as always just trying to make simple conversation. There was a fork at the end of the staircase and she led me to the right hand side. The lights were dimmed in the bedroom but I could still see the King Size bed in the middle of room, we did a U?turn around the bed, which led us into a. massage room. Dripping in luxury I could?ve definitely compared it to the renowned Mar-a-Lago?s spa?s, it had marble walls and a glass enclosed shower and self-automated steam room at the very end of the Burberry carpeted room. There was a. large mirror over a basin to the right of the room with an array ofoils, ointments, soaps, and lotions and a small closed door, which assumed must be a closet. The only thing that struck awkward about this room was the naked man laying face down atop of the turquoise massage table in the center of it. had to be prepared for this,? I told myself. Massage was something I had never done before so I quickly brushed away my thoughts ofpossible schemes, wanting to believe whole-hearted this was going to be legit. Ghislane introduced us to each other and I proceeded to make his acquaintance. Looking up at from his downward-s position, he looked me over and gave a smile to Ghislane, an obvious notion of his approval. He was Jeffrey Epstein as she pronounced for him, as if I supposed to recognize his name or something. He af?rmed, ?It was his pleasure? and replied to just call him Jeffrey, ?No need for formalities? he answered, cleverly putting me at ease. This man did not look like someone to beware of. Both him and Ghislane appeared to be very nice people and conscious of their health as their need for massages and spa visits, no alarm bells went off, yet. I was prepped by Ghislane to ?treat this as a lesson from her and follow her exact lead, ifI did good tonight then maybe I would become Jeffrey?s Travelling Masseuse, seeing the world and getting paid well for it?. I was very hopeful, ajob like this could really make my dreams come true. I followed suit and washed my hands with warm water so the coldness would not shock Jeffery?s naked body, then iathered them in rich body butter. Ghislane told me to always keep one hand on Jeffrey, even when getting more lotion, so it didn?t make him lose concentration on being relaxed. She gave me a tip and told me to keep a blob oflotion high up on 24- El Copyright l?rulecled Mnleriul CONFIDENTIAL 57 my forearm so it prevented me from having to keep going back for more and was less disruptive to Jeffrey. This all seemed for real to begin with, I was being educated about the body and splitting effrey?s body with Ghislane, mimicking her every motion. Starting with his feet, we began with his heels and arches of his soles. Pushing the blood up his calves in upward strokes to rejuvenate the body?s blood supply and being careful to mind his leg hair didn?t pull. 1 was keeping up with her and enjoying the education. It was so interesting how the body worked and I couldn?t believe I was learning all of this for free. Once i got a bit ofa groove following Ghislane, they began asking me all sorts of questions about my past and it didn?t take long before the conversation led down the darker experiences of my young life. When they found out that I hadn?t led much ofa normal existence they only probed me with more questions, which being put on the spot answered honestly. The funny thing was they didn?t seem appalled at all by my statements, rather entertained if anything. Jeffrey called me a ?naughty-girl? with that wry smile of his, and half playful and half defensive, I answered ?no I?m not, I?m really a good girl, just always in the wrong places? he then replied, ?It?s OK, I like naughty girls? and rolied over onto his front side to expose his complete nude self. He wasn?t the ?rst man to show me his penis, so I wasn?t shocked at the appearance of his manhood but I was incredibly shocked at his complete ease to present himself with an erection. I tried to ignore it waiting to follow the next directions off of Ghislane, who surprisingly now stood behind me bare breasted. Before I had a chance to even think of replying hastily she began to slowly undress me, while Jeffrey started to stroke his manhood while watching us. She unbuttoned my biouse and removed my bra, revealing my bosoms. Cupping them in her hands she moved her lips across my nipples, licking and teasing them with her tongue making them cold and stiff. Next her hands moved down to my little white skirt, removing the final piece of my remaining uniform. She siid my skirt down my legs with ease, for a moment keeping on my love-heart panties, so they could both take notice of my apparent youth. They even snickered to each other about How cute she still wears little girl pantie?s? Jeffrey said, and Ghislanejoined in his laughter. Acting as my madam, she instructed me to start by licking his nipples and after I had sufficiently pleasured both of them, then prompted me to go down on Jeffery orally while she rubbed her breasts along his body tantalizingly. She moved behind me again this time to remove my panties and start fondling the delicate folds between my legs. I was still in shock from the initial degrading blow. I hadn?t even let the reality sink in, it was all too much for me to emotionally handle so instead I hid behind my fears, which I told myself wasn?t going to ever be worth anything at all and this would probably be as good as it gets for me? after all I thought, 25 El Copyright l?rolecled Mnlerial CONFIDENTIAL I 58 ?what have I been trained up for until now?. Nobody ever stopped to ask ifi was comfortable or if i wanted to stop, no, instead, Ghisiane only directed me to conclude the massage session by climbing up on the table to be fixated on effrey, straddling him so he could penetrate me. When it was all done and over with, I was taken into the steam room with just Jeffrey to get further aquatinted, as Ghislane left the room to go get dressed. He asked me to grab his feet and rub them not saying a word about what just happened, like it was all normal and accepted. I listened to him ramble on about the health bene?ts of a. sauna. and the history of it, ignoring the fact of the matter of his pretentiousness degrading my spirit. I figured had gone too far already, what would be the point in throwing in the towel now after I had done exactly what these people wanted. Whilst we were sweating out our bodies? toxins, and the steam was blasting my buming face I listened to his lessons, entertaining his ego, I let him become my teacher, he seemed to like that. He sounded like a very clever and intelligent man though. Telling me his story of how he made himself an empire of billions from being a middle-class professor to an elite ?nancial advisor for ciientele with only billions in their bank accounts and through his so-called ?lessons?, He became my mentor and I emerged as his pupii, the teacher?s pet. After the sauna we went to the next glass door beside us where the shower was. He turned tap outwards and stood underneath the water as I stood naked and cold from the temperature difference. Instead of asking me to join him under the warm stream, like I thought he was going to, he handed me a bar of soap and asked me to wash his body from top to toe. It didn?t stop there I had to massage the shampoo and conditioner into his scalp as well. I was bewildered someone would ask this off of someone else, wasn?t it belittling enough having to endure the illicit massage from beforehand but now this. The surprises kept coming that night, as this was definitely not how I expected my interview to turn out, but that?s what I had learned in my short time on this earth, life was full of disappointment. I let everyone else take the power of authority from myself and use me in whatever way he or she wanted instead of standing up and giving myseif the respect I deserved, which in turn would?ve helped me get through life without all of the abuse I ended up copping. Not given the belief in myself from an early age on I suppose is what affected my sense of control. Always letting the one?s with power and strength reduce my inner-self to shreds until i was cut so tiny in size I would be completely subdued to only their wants and needs ieft ignoring mine. The men I had encountered in my short experience with them only repeated their inflictions convincing me there was no running away from the sick world I lived in, not yet understanding it all came down to the choices I had 26 El Copyright l?roleeled Mnlerial CONFIDENTIAL 59 made for myself, needed some encouragement and the right words to unlock my very soul. Jeffrey told me the towels were on the heated rack just outside the shower and asked me to get one and pat him down. Again putting himself first as I sat there freezing while I compliantly patted down his body with the white fluffy towel until he was dried. I nearly expected him to ask me to dress him as well, but not surprisingly that came later down the track too. I dried myself off and wiped the make-up from under my eye?s, keeping quiet not sure what to really say and half-embarrassed from the entire evening?s events that just took place. I just remained silent whilst we both got dressed until he brought me downstairs where Ghislane was sitting at a desk holding his black leather duffel bag. When she moved from the chair to let Jeffrey sit down, she passed him the bag and began to tell me that I had great potential to be a massage therapist, they really liked my style and who knows where this could lead too. She asked to see me again tomorrow, same time after work. He opened the bag, revealing stacks of brand-new hundred dollar bills separated with rubber bands to count by the thousands. He grabbed one stack and took out two crisp notes, placing them in my hand. He laughed that it was nearly my whole week?s wage at Mar?A?Lago. Only there I didn?t have to degrade myself as his new little toy. When I got home my parents were anticipating my arrival. I kept it simple and sweet with my folks, only telling them of the lessons about the body I had received and the future prospects in massage therapy that lie ahead. Nobody questioned who I was working for and complimented my ability to be a hard worker. I quickly got out of that conversation afraid I might give away a hint of shame in my eyes but no one caught on. I excused myself to the bathroom to have a shower and stared into the mirror for a moment, asking myselfifl could really go through with this only to mentally respond by reminding myself this would be as good as it gets for a girl of my stature and limitations. I scrubbed myself rigidly in the shower as if it would wash away the tilthiness of the night, but it didn?t help, I could still feel their hands in me and all over me and inside of me. Trying to sleep that night was nearly impossible too, closing my eyes only to drift away to flashbacks of the moments I had to give myself to Jeffrey and Ghislane, each replay an exploitation of my vulnerability. The next morning I awoke feeling anxious about the day ahead, trying to push yesterday?s memory from my thoughts, I was quiet for the whole trip to work with my Dad. Before the parking lot he asked me if everything was okay, I lied, for his sake and mine. My life was being transformed and I didn?t even know it yet, but soon enough I would be a brainwashed tool only used for the sexual pleasure of others. 27 El Copyright l?rulecled Mnlerial CONFIDENTIAI . 160 About to be entrapped in the same life I had broken free from only months ago. Convincing myself in order to succeed I had to step up from being a girly teenager and start thinking like a young woman, it would be my ticket to a great career and a fortunate life. Itold myself?So what ifl had to bargain my body to this rich old geezer, some girls get themselves through college by becoming a stripper and using their bodies to pay for degrees, others go down even worse paths.? I guess it was just another way to fathom the road I was going down, the effectiveness of the lies forced myself to believe was working as I continued to tell myself I had to make it any way I could rather than ever letting myself sleep on the streets again. I was trading one shocking lifestyle for another, thinking was choosing the right one. could go back in time to ever meet myself I would choose this time in my life. I?d start with a good hard smack to my head to first shake some things up in there and next I would tell that girl she could actually make it on her own if she just worked hard at earning an honest wage and built her life up slowly. There is no rush or time limit to ever stop reaching for achievement. Sadly enough I probably wouldn?t of even believed myself anyways, learning my life?s hard lessons through the experiences I continued to suffer. I went to work at Mar-A Lago that day trying hard not to think of what lay ahead in the afternoon too come, but the later the hour got the more distinguished the knots became in my stomach. I spoke to no one of the details to my explicit interview but told one girl how I was so happy I was now officially studying massage tierapy, another lie. My friend was surprised and intrigued that these people who could afford the best of the best of therapists in the world chose an untrained ?fteen-year-old girl to perform a massage. She never said it in words, but her body language told me she knew exactly why they wanted to use me and it wasn?t for a therapeutic reason either and deep down inside I understood. The rest of the afternoon slipped away quickly and before knew it I was standing before those large wooden doors again, giving a moments pause but long enough to draw in my breath and exhale some of the anxiety before ringing the doorbell. Juan answered the door again and told me Ghislane would be down in a few moments and asked to follow him into the kitchen. There was a pleasant looking young girl with blonde spirals in her hair that glanced up from the mound ofpaperwork before her. Her shocking blue eye?s and appealing English accent seemed delightful and she introduced herself as ?Emmy?, Ghislane?s Personal Assistant. I introduced myself as ?Jenna? which is what most people knew me as and told her was on an employment trial to become Jeffrey?s massage therapist. She had a coy smile on her face that told me she knew exactly what I was on trial for. Something in my gut told me 28 El Copyright l?rolecled Mnlerial CONFIDENTIAL 61 this wasn?t the ?rst time a young girl had been trialed for the same position I was about to ?ll. We were only chatting for a moment before Ghislane appeared and told me Jeffrey was ready for his massage. was led through the extensively large house to the winding staircase that would lead me up to the same dreaded room where I would have to re?enact last night?s performance. I wasn?t far from wrong. I gave Jeffrey a massage with Ghislane leading the way again, this time we surprisingly made it to the front of his body and she continued to show me how to massage all the way up to his stomach pushing my hands in a spiraling clockwise circular motion to not disrupt the bowels and then we came up to his chest. He couldn?t dare contain himself for one second longer, telling me to put my lips on his nipples and give them a kiss. Jeffrey moaned in pleasure and Ghislane started to undress me from behind. Within moments I was completely naked and Ghislane had her top off. She was caressing my body with her hands while Jeffrey moved his hands down to stroke his loins while he watched her and I kiss and touch each other. I didn?t know if she was doing this for the sake ofhis eye-candy but she sure did act like she loved having the control over me telling me what to do throughout the entire threesome. Jeffrey?s climax was always the end to our sessions and this time he wanted to have me make him orgasm orally. Afterwards we went for the ritualistic steam-room, this time Ghislane joining in with us for conversation. She asked me to massage her feet this time while we were in the steam room, showing me that Jeffrey wasn?t the only one I had pay my homage to. We all had a shower next and then we all went downstairs to pay me and have Juan drop me off back home. The following afternoon I received a call at work, surprisingly it was Ghislane asking me to come over when I got off of work again. The compliant side took over and I told her I looked forward to meeting with them today, instead of telling her to go screw herself for lying to me and making me degrade myself more each time I saw them. I finished work for the day and my Dad brought me over to El Brillo Way again, where the vultures were patiently waiting in their lair, he wished me well as I hopped out of his big truck, looking ever so much like his little girl again. I gave him a smile and a wave as he drove down the long driveway, waiting for him to suddenly turn back and not leave me alone to my task. I shook myself out of that calamity and put on my ?big girls? face. Juan brought me to the kitchen again as I waited for Ghislane. He offered me a cold drink and some fruit on a platter, I accepted and was grateful for the rejuvenation before I went to work again. It wasn?t long before Ghislane approached me from behind with a cold intense look in her eye. I jumped from my seat, feeling like maybe I shouldn?t have been eating and drinking while on the job, as her demeanor seemed annoyed 29 El Copyright l?rolecled Mnlerial CONFIDENTIAL l62 and temperamental in the seconds that she appeared. She told me I would be on my own today as she had business to attend to, so make sure I remembered what she had taught me, as my trial depended on it. Chapter 5 I walked up the stairs by myself this time, taking in more of the decor, noticing the more I looked around the more I noticed a different girl in each photograph in his collection of half-nude and topless girls on display around his mansion. I couldn?t believe how many girls there were, it?s not like Jeffrey was much to look at. He was an aging man in his early fifties with shiny grey hair and characteristic lines drawn down his face as ifhe had seen harder days. With no prospects of ever settling down or having a family of his own, Jeffrey treated us girls like apiece of clothing he could try the next. So why was there so many girls in these photo?s? I wondered to myself if 1 would end up one of those girls among his collection of forgotten relationships and broken promises. I continued to make my way up the stairssenses were heightened from my bare nerves being exposed, I could smell the cleaning detergents recently used by the housekeepers, my observations of the shade of lighting through the concealed blinds as I entered Jeffrey?s bedroom appeared golden, and the sound of stillness except for the thud of my rapid beating heart all made me more aware of how nervous I was to be on my own. Not that Ghislane was anything of a comfort, but I didn?t know what to expect or how I was going to lead myself into upholding my obligation in pleasing him. I would hope for the best I thought, trying to uplift my confidence as I opened the door to the massage room with the typical scene of Jeffrey laying naked facedown in the massage bed waiting for his entertainment. It was de?ja?vous? all over again. Repeating what Ghislane had taught me, with him commenting on what else I should be doing, until was expected to grant him all ofhis spoken desires. We finished tip with the shower again and he seemed very pleased in my contribution of myself to him, giving in to every request. He told me to go ask Juan to pay me, as he was lethargic after the massage and intimate affair between us and now was going to have sleep. I walked back down stairs and told Juan that Jeffrey was asleep and said pay. He went to Jeffrey?s desk and took out the exact amount I was owed without even asking how much I normally get paid. He then drove me home, only to be back the next afternoon. 30 El Copyright l?rolecled Mnlerial CONFIDENTIAL 63 The following week was a daily routine, providing Jeffrey with massages and continuously being groomed to fulfill all his needs. Often joined by Ms. Maxwell and her assistant Emmy for sexual of all kinds. I was mentally and physically exhausted from the week of working and having to keep up with Jeffrey?s strenuous late night activities I couldn?t believe what I was doing but it was all starting to sink in fast. Most nights when I got home, I?d briefly say ?Hi? to Mom and Dad before heading straight to my bedroom. I couldn?t even sleep well anymore. Closing my eyes at night I would fight the inevitable flood of thoughts, replaying the moments of shame that ate away myself piece by piece. My only reasoning being Ijust had to keep telling myselfit would all be worth it in the end. This afternoon Ghislane appeared to be in a much better mood. Instead of taking me straight up to Jeffrey she took me to a yellow guest room where Emmy mostly stayed. It had a balcony where Emmy was already outside reading a magazine and puf?ng on a cigarette. Ghislane lit one up too and then offered me one. I hadn?t smoked cigarettes much before, besides trying to look cool in front of one of my friends, but never really took to them, so when I started to cough from the inhalation of smoke, the girls began to laugh and joke about my in-experience. It was an icebreaker for all of us to laugh and poke fun at me. I was then able to give it back to them saying I would rather be an in?experienced non- smoker than an old lady with a raspy smokers cough. I don?t think Ghislane was used to somebody giving it back to her, but she seemed to like it, as long as she was able to have the last say. knew my boundaries and she liked thatl wouldn?t cross those invisible lines. All three of us chatted like friends and it started to feel like some kind of a strange relationship was budding. After about fifteen minutes of chatting away, Ghislane instructed me to wash my hands thoroughly, as Jeffrey hated the smell of smokers, and to follow her down the hallway to the massage room where he?ll be expecting me shortly. I did what she asked and sprayed myself with the body spray that I always carried in my purse and headed down the hall to Jeffrey?s room. When I opened the door to the massage room surprisingly it was empty. I sat down on the already made up massage table and was careful not to mess up the neatly folded towels on the end of the bed. It was a good ?fteen more minutes before Jeffrey made his appearance. It was strange seeing him in clothes for the first time. He wasn?t wearing what you?d expect your typical billionaire?s attire to be. He was wearing a pair of sweatpants and a Harvard sweatshirt, which he began to remove immediately. This time he wanted to commence our session in the steam room, so I began to undress as well. We went into the steam room and he pushed a few buttons and the steam began to pour in from the marble 31 El Copyright Protected Material CONFIDENTIAI . 164 wall?s built injets. There was a bench coming out of the wall also made out of marble that went from either side of the room and had a step underneath it where I was instructed to sit on so that I could begin giving Jeffery his massage. Our conversation started off about simple things like how was your day at work, and I asked Jeffrey how his day was lounging around, just being polite to each other. He was acting out of character being a lot more attentive and conversing with me about other things than sex or massages for once. Starting with his heels, ankles, toes and arches in the soles of his feet I massaged all the way up to his calves. It took a lot more strength to massage in the steam room without oils or lotions and the constant blowing of steam in your face making me twice as exerted. I was beginning to really start to heat up when the door to the room suddenly opened to reveal two naked women. Ghislane and Emmy acted as if they came in to join us for a steam bath, but my instincts were telling me otherwise. At least the cold burst of air and escaped steam revived me a bit. So there was Jeffrey and Ghislane sitting on top of this marble bench, each with a young girl at their feet. Emmy and I continued with the massage until they were ready to head into the shower. There were two showerheads that Ghislane and Jeffrey both stood under while they were being lathered with soap bubbles as we washed their bodies. After the shower Ghislane led us into Jeffrey?s bed to finish today?s session with Emmy, Ghislane and I performing lesbian acts of foreplay on each other while Jeffrey laid back and watched. Stroking his manhood in much delight, he brought himself to climax, and the session was over within moments. We all got dressed and went downstairs to the kitchen for some refreshments. Like nothing had happened at all, it was all so bizarre for me, the whole ordeal with them since this all began. I couldn?t understand why Ghislane and Jeffrey had such an openly intimate relationship but yet never regarded themselves as partners. They rarely kissed and never held hands or even slept in the same bed. It was more like a sexual arrangement between the two of them. She brings in the girls for his peculiar taste and he supplies the lavish lifestyle she was accustomed too before her family lost all of their fortunes. I wasn?t sure how to act or feel, always obliging to their needs but reserved enough not to get attached, as if there was this invisible hierarchy and by instinct I knew my place. We all hung out in the kitchen for a while before I asked when Juan could bring me home as I had work in the morning and was tired. They said no problem and called Juan on the intercom right away, but said we?d all have something to talk about tomorrow. I knew it had something to do with my employment trial and from the way they were acting tonight, I could only assume I got the job, but you never know with these 32 El Copyright Protected Material CONFIDENTIAL types of people. Their friendships and partnerships can change like the weather. I went home that night still confused on how I could let myself sink so lowact like enjoyed submitting my body and being their new subservient plaything all for the fact that I was making anywhere between $200?$400 for just a couple of hours. Then spent the rest of the night regressing on the entire event in my head over and over again. I battled those thoughts with the hope that I was receiving a profession out of this and making good money in the meantime. All i had to do was keep lying to myselflong enough untii I eventually believed it. Arriving at Jeffrey?s on time the next afternoon, as I always did, understanding punctuality was a sign of respect and I wanted them to feel as ifthey had my deepest appreciation for the once in a lifetime chance they had given to a. girl of my history. This time when Juan answered the door he told me Mr, Epstein and Ms. Maxwell were waiting for me upstairs in the massage room. I began my hike up the familiar spiraling staircase and through to the room where my arrival was being deeply anticipated. They were already in the steam room awaiting me to join them. I undressed out of my uniform and folded them in a neat pile, which I placed upon the marble basin. Having one last look in the mirror before I exhaling a deep breath as ifI was plunging into deep water, I knew today was a big day. I either accepted their offer and trade my morals for opportunity, or walk away with the prospect of one day many years from now trying to make it on my own which I knew endowed hardships of there own. So confused about what decision to make, Ijust opened the door to the steam room and let them do the talking. Used to the routine by now I sat below Jeffrey and began to massage his feet and legs as I listened in on their ongoing conversation about travel plans for the next few weeks. Ghislane and Jeffrey turned their attention to me and he asked me how would I like to go see the big city of Manhattan. I told them I had never visited New York before and it sounded like an adventure but my job at Mar-A-Lago was only a summer job and wouldn?t be able to get the time off, especially that summer was so busy anyways. Jeffrey then made his announcement, that I shouldjust quit my job at Mar-a-Lago and become his permanent travelling masseuse, He then further persuaded me with all of the luxuries that came along with my acceptance. Rather than being paid $9 dollars per hour at my current job I could be earning $200 dollars per massage, which he even said could be a few times a day, Tomorrow we could be leaving Palm Beach together in his private jet first heading to his residence in the upper east side of Manhattan, also the largest mansion in NY, and would next be setting off to the Caribbean, where he owned a secluded island just past Little St. 33 El Copyright l?rulecled Mnlerial CONFIDENTIAL 166 James for a bit of relaxation. The temptation of his grandeur offer wasn?t hard to give into, my vulnerability to be lewd into his grasp seemed comforting at the time. The idea that females were nothing more than an empty shell of beauty bound by only a body to offer was a notion I had accepted a long time ago with my first teacher, Ron. My reaction had to be more than amusing for their egos, even though I was excited to be traveling I could only imagine the likeliness of having to be at their beckon call as well. In my head I just told myself we all do what we have to do in our lives to succeed no matter what it takes, and with no one knowing the truth, I had no one to talk me out of it. I accepted his offer and knew from here on out I would be his servant to his sexual desires until one day I would gain my credentials and only then could I go out on my own and make it in this world that when so young seems so unconquerable. The night advanced into the usual grooming of his requirements, for the next hour and a halfbeing exploited to satisfy Jeffrey?s every sexual whim. My mom cornered me that night, before I had a chance to avoid speaking to anyone, heading to the shower then my bedroom, like I had been the last week. She knocked at my door with a hostile look in her eyes, Virginia, what exactly does an older couple want with a fifteen year old girl, who has no credentials and with no experience in massage therapy?? She used that stern tone ofvoice that she?s always had, when I was in trouble. Thus, as impressionable as I was, my blue eyes batted their innocence in her direction and I flashed her a girlish grin selling her the pitch that I had been given earlier that night. Not mentioning the other side to the glamorous lifestyle I would soon be living in. I told her about the money I?d be earning, the places I?d be seeing, the people I could meet and most of all the trade I?d be learning. It all sounded so good, except it was a bunch of lies I had to tell her and myself to otherwise convince us, that this was a once in a lifetime opportunity, and I had to take it. She asked when all of this would start, and I as shocking as it was to me too, I told her I had to go start packing. We were leaving the next morning off to NYC. At fifteen most girls would be sucking up to their parents to go to a high-school dance or to go on a date to the movies with a nervous chap, but I wasn?t even asking her. I was simply letting her know that I would be away for the next couple weeks, maybe three and would keep in contact when i got free time. Her daughter was lost a long time ago, and she just now realized it. Backing out of the bathroom, with nothing she could say, she left me wondering to myself who I was becoming. Instead of driving me to work the next morning my Dad dropped me off at Jeffrey?s mansion, he told me not to worry about calling Mar-A-Lago, 34- El Copyright l?rolecled Mnlerial CONFIDENTIAL he?d take care of it for me. We said our good-byes outside in the driveway, Jeffrey even coming outside to meet with my father to shake his hands and assure him that his daughter will be more than looked after. I hugged my dad feeling like I was on the verge of a steep cliff, when he let go, so did the last of my innocence. Juan drove Jeffrey, Ghislane and to Palm Beaches? Private Airport and the luggage handlers escorted us on the tar mat where we all boarded on Jaffrey?s blackjet. Larry was his main pilot, he had shiny grey hair and long lanky legs, but a very sincere smile that instantly made you feel at ease. He greeted us at the staircase that led into the main cabin. It was as lavish as I imagined it would be. The seats were enveloped in the finest beige leather with polished wood grain ?nishes and there was a kitchen in the back with an adjoining toilet. Jeffrey saw the amazement in my eyes and to make it more thrilling he brought me up to the cockpit and let me watch with a bird?s view of the take off. i was on a natural high when I came back to the cabin and was instantly brought back down when Jeffrey rested his bare feet on top of the reclined seat and instructed me to get to work and start massaging him. My future was in his hands now, so when he wanted something, I wouldn?t hesitate in giving it to him. Chapter 6 Upon our arrival at New Jersey?s Private Airstrip, the driver Jo-Jo met us. His name was most likely shortened for something of his oriental decent. Jeffrey liked to shorten the names of his multi-cultural staff into American names. Even Juan and Maria were known as John and Mary. We arrived in the Upper East Side of Manhattan. His principal place of residence was the largest home in Manhattan, eight stories of opulence. It used to be a Private School for boy?s many years ago, until Les Wexner, Jeffrey?s best friend and mentor bought it for him as a mysterious gift. There were two large Chinese gargoyles outside the entrance, and beside the heavy looking wooden doors there was an intercom with a camera overlooking us. i walked up the concrete steps into a realm of wealth, glamour and most of all influence. My eye?s glistened at the splendor of his palace. Caramel colored marble tiles spread through the first floor, where his gourmet kitchen and dining hall were also located. Then I came to this sweeping staircase that curved into the next level where Jeffrey and 1 went into his office, even though it looked more like a museum exhibit. Ancient draperies that told lascivious stories of their own covered parts of the elevated walls, and the remaining wall spaces were taken up by rows on top of rows of books. He loved to read, as he 35 El Copyright l?roleeled Millerial CONFIDENTIAI . 168 often found it hard to sleep and was comforted in the early morning hours with his literature, or sometimes in other ways i would come to ?nd out. There was a mantle piece and a sofa with two armchairs next to the grand piano that ?aunted more of Jeffrey?s beautiful conquests, young women posing in salacious pictures, suggesting I could be easily replaced next to one of those girls if 1 failed in keeping him satis?ed. There were also some pictures with recognizable political and royal figures either shaking Jeffrey?s hand, or with an arm around each other, even one with Jeffrey and the Dali Lama, although his church was the bank. He liked to use his power, wealth, and money to manipulate everyone in his life. He made a phone call that sounded business like and I didn?t mind, I was quite enjoying taking in all of the beauty around me, I was blinded by all of it. I was still waiting for him when, Ghislane came in. She asked me what I thought so far of my trip to NYC, i knew she was talking about the house, she loved to gloat, even though none of it actually belonged to her, she wanted everyone to believe that it did. I complimented her on the mid-evil looking tapestries and a few other adornments, when she cut me off mid-sentence to compliment it herself, telling me the history about one of the 17?111 century tapestry?s which to an unsophisticated eye, looked to me like a rug on the wall. Jeffrey hung the phone up and walked over to the sofa where we were sitting next to the mantle piece and took a seat on one of the armchairs. He didn?t seem worried from the phone call but his mind was definitely somewhere else from the hard look on his face. We all spoke for a few moments more about the splendid decor before Jeffrey had enough small talk and needed some of his own relaxation time. He told Ghislane he was going to show me to the massage room and he?d be back in a couple hours. She agreed he looked like he could use some time to unwind and with that wry grin of hers, she gave me a. look that told me precisely how he was expecting to be relaxed. We left his office all together, Ghislane going downstairs, and Jeffrey showing me to the lifts. The lift looked like it?s original that came with the school. It was made out ofbrass antique with archaic cuts throughout the arches at the top. It wasn?t the only lift in the house, but certainly the most beautiful. We walked down a long hall carpeted in a royal red and golden trim, passing by a bronze pagan statue of the horny little goat God ?Pan?, How adequate, I thought, ?t Jeffrey to a tee, We walked into this dimly lit room. Another daunting chamber that looked like we had stepped back in time to the dark ages. It took a second for my eyes to adjust to the darkness, and Jeffrey beckoned me to follow him through the room to the open adjoin shower, toilet and steam room. The room was in black marble to accent the dreariness, and smaller than the one in Palm 36 El Copyright l?ruleeled Millerial CONFIDENTIAL 69 Beach, but it had it?s own witchery feel to it. Another unseen side to this Man I was coming to know. We both undressed and I followed Jeffrey into the steam room ?rst. He loved feeling clean, teaching me that the steam would deplete the toxins from your skin, which was great during a massage when your blood flow is being replenished. I grabbed his foot out of instinct, knowing had to be constantly on alert to keep this man satis?ed. He looked down at me with a nod and reclined back against the wall as the steam pored in, this was his idea of alleviation. I worked up to his calves and within a few more minutes, he said he was ready for his massage on the bed. We got out and towel dried off, both still nude, he asked me to stay undressed, then we headed to massage bed in the middle of the room. He lay down on the bed and told me to turn on the CD player on the wall hutch, where ali of the oils and lotions were set out, I hit play and a collection of mixed classical began to fill the silence. I could tell he wasn?t in one of those moods to be uplifted with idle chat, so I remained silent, letting him enjoy my slow movements, making my way up his body. My instincts told me I was right about his mood, as he seemed to appreciate the quietness of moment and the leisurely of the strokes was using to massage him. When I got to his scalp he turned over, and grabbed my hand to put on his erect manhood. No words spoken yet, I took the gesture and initiated what I had been taught over the last week. While pleasing my master his hands groped my young flesh, penetrating my insides with his ?ngers, he was only concerned with what he wantedtest drive and he was pressing his new gadgets. His soft moans were soon brought to louder heaves of breath and my job was done. No intimate kisses, or sweet pillow talk. He showed his appreciation with money, never attachment. We concluded with a shower and he told me he had some business to conduct. He walked me to the lift and told me go to the next level and my room was the ?rst one on the right, it had an intercom in which he can contact me when needed. I hit number 5 on the lift and took his directions to my room. I opened the door to this massive loft, the size of an adequate house. I walked down the long hall and my eyes took in the magnificence ofmy surroundings. It was a room ?t for royalty, and later would ?nd out had been stayed in by some. The room was trimmed in gold paint and had another eerie tapestry on the main wall as feature. There was a TV and a huge king sized bed, with goose feathered comforter and pillows. All of the glitter from Jeffrey?s lifestyle he was offering me ?nally covered the last bit of sight I had left and I let go of my consciousness. Excited by my enthralling day, not having anyone around to have to act reserved, I jumped into the soft bed and lay looking around, thinking about how quick life could change based upon one swift decision. Dazing 37 El Copyright l?rulecled Mnleriul CONFIDENTIAI . I70 into the artistry, the intercom buzzed on the telephone next housemaid letting me know Jeffrey wanted to see me in his of?ce now. ?Already" Ithought to myself, I was just getting settled in. I was worried I was going to get lost in this ancient museum, but I got myself back to his of?ce with no trouble, it was kind of hard to miss. I knocked at the ajar door and Jeffrey called for me to enter. 1 waiked over to his desk, where he was just ending a phone call and he opened his duffel bag full of money. ?I?ll be out at my other of?ce for most of the day, so instead of being locked inside I thought you should go do some sightseeing for the day since it is your first trip to the Big Apple? He didn?t count how much he was giving me hejust handed me a bundle out of the banded $100 dollar bills. He knew just how pull the right strings, making me squeal in delight and give him a kiss in the cheek, since we were never really emotionally intimate, it would be odd to act in any other way, but he seemed to like it. I ran upstairs to get dressed for ?City? shopping and put my make-up on, then hit the streets of NYC, looking for a place to start spending this load of dosh. When I got to the end of 7211d street on 5th Avenue, I had no idea which way to turn, left or right. I thought I?d just follow the lights past Central Park and see the local sights on my way. My eyes were once again peeled back in splendor. I had never imagined a place so busy with the hustle and bustle of all the walks of life. My ?rst stop was to buy a disposable camera and I was off taking photos of every wonder that caught my attention. i didn?t do much shopping as I had planned too; I was having too much fun exploring this capacious metropolitan. When it started to hit dusk I began walking back to Jeffrey?s but not before stopping off to enjoy a giant slice of pepperoni pizza, it was the best I had ever had, and considering I was going back to Jeffrey?s chickpea and tofu salad?s or such. I really hated the healthy cuisine served by Jeffrey?s personal chef. I was a naturally skinny girl, never watching what I ate and to eat that food I might as well have chewed on hay. I strolled back to Jeffrey?s and was missed. Ghislane scolded me ?You shouldn?t have been gone so long young lady?, ?We need to know where you are at all times, you are on call for Jeffrey? started to apologize, feeling guilty, didn?t want them to think I didn?t take my job with them seriously. She cut off my explanation with a short conclusion to this conversation ?We will get you a cell phone tomorrow, so we can always ?nd you?. I thanked her for her generosity, and she dismissed me to my room. So I wasn?t even needed after all, it was just a way for her to place me deeper in their control. The next few days I was on call, as Ghislane said I?d be. Venturing out to the city for only an hour or so at a time, I looked most forward to my outings. I would return to Jeffrey?s 38 El Copyright l?ruleclcd Mnleriul CONFIDENTIAL 71 mansion to attend to his sexual desires and when he was ?nished with me, I?d be off to my adventures. On the day before we were to be heading back to Palm Beach, Jeffrey had a new proposition for me. I could make double the money I was making, ifI would look for pretty girls and convince them to come back to Jeffrey?s to be further persuaded with money to engage in bi?sexual and sexual acts with Jeffrey and l. I asked him how does one actually propose such a thing to a complete stranger? ?Well? he said in a build up to another kind of lesson. ?If I were you I would use your charm to entice them and my money to bring them, I would teli them you work for a multi-billionaire who has a taste for young, beautiful girls and with his contacts in the acting, modeling, or rich husband world, your boss could help them. All they have to do is come meet me first.? Ifl wasn?t so naive at the time I would?ve seen that?s exactly what he was doing with me, my prospects were massage credentials, but with too much pain from my past, I could only have hope. Not that I was a shy girl, but picking up girls for one reason alone, only to be endorsed for her body, didn?t sound like something I could do. But not wanting to displease my master, I told him that I would give it a go. You could tell he was instantly excited with my agreement, he started to reveal the politics of what kind of girls he was looking for. He wasn?t into multi-cultural girls, a very chauvinistic perception; he said they had to be uniquely gorgeous to be accepted by him, but definitely no African-American girls, he was racist against anything different to his kind, a very narrow minded way of thinking for such a supposed brilliant man. The list went on and on. No girls with tattoo?s or piercing?s, or gothics, no drug users, or prostitutes. Basically he wanted everyone?s daughter that looked like the girl next door, with blue eyes and blonde curly ringlets. I just nodded and smiled, wanting this to be over with and move on to another conversation, but so worked up from our previous talk, instead he persisted to show me exactly what I was good for to him. He took me up to the highest loft in his large mansion and he lay down on his large bed, expecting me to know exactly what he wanted done. As always, I complied. Part ofme hating him for having to degrade myself to be so subservient to his sexual whims, and another part ofine was telling myself to be grateful for the opportunities I was being given. The battles in my head were beginning to cause me too much anxiety, when we got back to Palm Beach, I asked my Mom to make me a doctor?s appointment for some headaches i had been getting lately, so she wouldn?t question me. I walked out of the doctor?s with a prescription for a mind-altering anxiety tablet called ?Xanax?, not only did it help with anxiety but it also acted as blanket over terrible memories. So when I had to perform degrading acts, I would take a few pills and forget what 39 CI Copyright I?rulecled Mnlerial CONFIDENTIAL I72 happened within the next hour and be able to become someone without a battling conscious. I spent my sweet 16? birthday on his island in the Caribbean next to ?St. James Isle? he liked to call it ?Little St. Jeff?s?, his ego was as enormous as his appetite for fornicating. I was given a birthday cake and a new collection of designer make?up from London. Ghislane made a joke after I blew out my array of candles and said, ?I?d be soon getting too old for Jeffrey?s taste, and soon they?d have to trade me in.? She was only half joking in a sad reality though. A few days after my birthday, a girl was ?ying out to the island to join us for a few days before ?ying back to NYC. I was introduced to a pretty girl a few years my senior, named Sarah. She had long ash blonde hair and big brown eyes that hinted she had a cheeky nature. She had known Jeffrey before I had, and he was supposedly trying to help her get an acting job in LA. She was obviously accustomed to the lifestyle he provided her, making it ever so apparent with her prompt attention she lavished on him. She would do things like strip nude and bathe around the swimming pool, taunting him for sex. She was good at what she did, even putting me at ease with her cool persona and funny jokes. Jeffrey told me privately that she was one of his best at procuring young girls into her entrapment and delivering them to him when he was in town, and when it came to time in the private chambers with Jeffrey, Her and I, it wasn?t hard to comprehend. She was devoted to the moment, giving Jeffrey every imaginable lustful desire he could fathom. On the last night there we all took a trip over to St. James to go for a stroll, odd i thought, it was past 7pm and Jeffrey rarely strayed out past then, unless it was some event or dinner party. While Ghislane and him looked the average couple strolling arm in arm through the streets, he said to Sarah and 1, ?Why don?t you two hit the night club here and see if there is anyone interesting to bring back for the evening?? It was more of an order than a request and then I knew why we came out tonight and why Sarah was invited, tonight was all about training, and Sarah was going to show me the ropes in picking up girls. Although there was no one to accustom to effrey?s distinct taste to bring back, watching Sarah ?irt from girl to girl like a floating butter?y, gave me enough insight into what I was expected to do. Within Months I had become his handy little helper. Not only would I run to his beckon call, but I also aided Ghislane in bringing in more giris to keep the appetite of our sexually starving chief from going hungry. I once asked Ghislane, why she did what she did for him, instead of having a common monogamous relationship and getting jealous like normal partners would? She replied simply ?It takes the pressure off me having to do it?. That said it all, we were all under the shade of Jeffrey?s money tree, and not even someone like her could escape from its lure. 40 CI Copyright I?rulecled Mnlerial CONFIDENTIAL Just like Ghislane had trained reiterate that onto other girls and thus the cycie of girls trying to climb the chain of hierarchy would start all over each time I brought a new one in. The sessions rarely differed much. They would mostly start outwith Jeffrey on top of the massage table already naked and me leading a girl into massaging him until his instructions came to remove our clothing and if they agreed to that, then Jeffrey knew he had them in his pocket, and could do what ever else he wanted. He was never turned down in the many years i stayed with him. Never being shy, he would tell us to start kissing each other or depending on what he wanted we would perform erotic acts sometimes with him fondling us, or just masturbating while he watched. On explicit occasions, sex toys would be used on us girls, making it all the more exciting for him to observe. Ending with a payment of $200 for the new girl and $400 to me for bringing her. He would then wait for us to leave before adding the events details of names and payments in a little black diary he kept with him wherever he went, so if he were in anyone of the city?s he lived in, he would always have contacts for sex. I was slowly climbing the ladder, as Jeffrey was happy taking me everywhere with him, within the States. Merely at home I distanced myself from my Family altogether and with Jeffrey renting me an apartment in Royal Palm Beach as well as a plush furnished apartment in NYC, there was hardly a need to see them. I just couldn ?t face everyone thinking they all knew what I was really doing travelling around with a man old enough to be my grandfather who supposedly only wanted me for massages. Much further convincing myself of the ties I told myself, I took a liking to the Xanax, it felt like it was all a dream at times, even meeting up with old contacts from school years who experimented with drugs. 1 was flying around the country, seeing so many places in America 1 had only heard about in Movies and making more money than anyone my age and loving it. My friends didn?t believe the lies I told them about only being a massage therapist, some of them even asking if they can meet Jeffrey too. At this point in my life my heart went missing for a while and I stooped so low, I was even bringing my friends, ljust saw them as easy commission. When I wasn?t playing servant to my master, I was partying hard, eventually using ecstasy pills, acid, and marijuana to disillusion the times I would?ve had away from Jeffrey to think about what I was actually doing with my life. I realized something one day while 1 was alone, although I had Jeffrey to attend to sexually, it was not gratifying. needed someone to come home to, someone I could call my boyfriend and that showed me emotion not just a job to get done. 41 El Copyright l?rolecled Mnlerial CONFIDENTIAL I74 Chapter 7 A knock came to my apartment door one lazy afternoon while we were in Palm Beach. I looked through the peephole and didn?t recognize the once familiar face. I asked from behind the closed door ?Who is it?? The voice of the reply was one I wasn?t anticipating to ever hear again. It was my Junior-High crush and childhood friend, T.J. The last time saw him i was a runaway and he had let me stay at his house for a few days, telling his parents nothing, he kept me hidden away in his room. At nightfall he said to knock on his window and could jump through and stay the night. Until I was picked up by authorities during school hours and questioned why I wasn?t in school they did some resourcing finding out I was a runaway, then delivered me back to my angry parents. ?Oh My God- You finally answer your door girl?, and in a whirlwind, TJ stormed back into my life. Even moving into my apartment, secretly, within two weeks of his arrival. He had changed so much from the last time I had seen him. He used to be this hard looking rocker type, now he was cleaned up wearing preppy clothes and shooting out Tupac Lyrics. He had the same old big brown eyes though, and when he told me he had heard 1 was back in town but he was unable to ever get ahold of me he just kept knocking at my door every so often, I was sold. How sweet I thought, he must care about me if he was so intent on approaching me, not even thinking he would?ve spoken to the girls from our junior-high circle and they would?ve mentioned him I was back in town, what I was doing and where to find me. We were a drug-induced romance, which budded from fake emotions the affects made us feel. He got what he wanted, a free ride and not having to work, and I got what I deserved, a man who could let me go away with this multi-biilionaire regarded as my second boyfriend. I didn?t want to alarm Jeffrey in me having a boyfriend so I kept it quiet, until during a massage was giving to him one afternoon. We were having a conversation about some of my friends, the party girls I had brought in to meet him. Jeffrey started asking questions about the different types of drugs they used hearing them speak about it in his presence. I thought a person on drugs wouid be all strung out and looking like hell, but the girls you know look great? he stated face down during the massage. That?s when I told him I had been dabbling in ecstasy lately too, and I thought it was the most amazing feeling one could even fathom. I tried to describe the euphoric feelings it gave me and even joked with him about wanting to pet anything furry that was around and then there was the constant need to flick my tongue-ring around my mouth. it was great 42 El Copyright l?rolecled Mnlerial CONFIDENTIAL having such an open conversation about things Jeffrey had never experienced before and he seemed okay with everything I was telling him as we were having a good laugh together, so I thought I could push it a bit further and tell him the truth about TJ, since it was bound to come out sooner than later I?d rather not the latter, when it would look even worse that I kept the truth from him for so long. ?Well why were opening up about things together?, I continued by saying had met someone from my past and we have been hanging out a lot lately. When I haven?t been travelling with you have been with him and I was wondering if you minded if I started to see this guy.? He started to laugh out loud, ?Are you serious? Of course not, no one in this world is monogamous, why would I expect you to be?? I was smitten with relief, but a little bit dis-heartened when I heard him speak that way and I wondered to myself if he?d had his own personal encounter with heartache. Of course the evening concluded in the same way it always had, the only reason I was really even there in the first place. Upon his request I straddled him on top of the table and let him explode with pleasure inside of me. Thinking the entire time about T.J, I felt so terrible but I quickly had to wipe the thoughts of guilt from my mind not to give Jeffrey the wrong impression. So I had myself busy with two men in my life, but that?s not what I really wanted for myself. I wanted an occupation that would eventually set me free from depending on a man as my source of survival. I asked Jeffrey before I left for the evening, when my real training was going to begin and he liked my assertiveness. I thought it meant to him that I was taking my job with him seriously, but it was all part of his master plan to keep me by his side. Within a couple of weeks of my persistence, Jeffrey introduced me to a couple of real working massage therapists, not only with credentials but with their own clientele too. I was in awe of their teachings, it all made so much sense about the body and what they were saying, I felt like I had picked myself up out of the lurches and had a direction again. was in the middle of another training session, with Jeffrey the recipient as usual, being it was rare for Ghislane to ask for a massage unless of course it was for Jeffrey?s own pleasure to watch the punch line of the session, when I was shocked to hear Jeffrey ask one of the therapists to now remove her shirt. He had no shame I thought. Even though she was above his usual age criteria, she was still a pretty woman in her early 30?s with curly blonde hair and had an athletic body for a mother of two children. She didn?t hesitate in his request. It looked like something out of a role-playing porn scene with the therapist removing 43 El Copyright l?rolecled Mnlerial CONFIDENTIAL I76 her white uniform to reveal her beautiful nude body and a much darker side to her personality. I couldn?t believe it at first it was such a state of shock and I began to question myself ifthis was normal in the massage profession to expect this kind of clientele to request such degrading tasks even though they were professionals. At the end of the session she was paid $300 dollars an additional hundred for helping to train me as well, and I was paid my usual $200 dollars then we were both invited by Jeffrey to join him out by the pool for a cool dip. With Jeffrey making a few phone calls while her and I undressed again for a swim, wanted to ask her a few personal questions about what she?s come to learn about the Massage Therapy game, but I never got the chance as we were joined by Ghislane moments later. She was asking how my training was going and booked the therapist in for herselfin the following morning. Where she was invited back to do another training session with me. It didn ?t take me long to ?gure out why. I was at my apartment when received a phone call from Jeffrey, I thought it was the usual call to come over to his house, but he surprised me. Instead I would be going to the exclusive hotel in Palm Beach tonight, The Breaker?s, where I would be meeting my first ever clients. Only told their first names I was given some instructions and the address where to meet Glen and Eva. They were a married couple with one on the way. was quite concerned when I heard she was pregnant, being really didn?t know the body that well and didn?t want to in?ict any wrong doing on the unborn baby but effrey insisted I take thisjob. Just massage her gently where she wants to be rubbed and to save all of my energy for Glen?s massage, since it was going to be a four-hourjob. In an emphasized tone of voice I was being coached by Jeffrey to treat Glen with exactly whatever he wanted, just like I do for Jeffrey himself. It was my last bit of preparation before he sent me out to his friends and my first taste of responsibility in upholding his reputation. At around seven pm I took a taxi to the address I was given and found them on the residential side of the giant hotel?s extensive property. When I arrived in their apartment it was a far cry from the lavish place I was expecting, still really nice but had a cozier family feel to it. It wasjust beginning to get dark when Eva and I went into the Master Bedroom and she undressed to reveal the ?rst naked pregnant body I had ever seen. it was fascinating to see her in the later stages of maternity, and strangely enough it was a miraculous and wondrous sight. She was a former model and one of Jeffrey?s many entourages from his past that had gotten to old for his taste and was married off to a wealthy colleague of his. Lying down on the bed I adjusted the pillows to try and make her more comfortable and I began to massage her as Jeffrey had instructed me to, 44 El Copyright I?rolecled Mnleriul CONFIDENTIAL 77 softly and slowly. So at ease with her nude body she even asked me to massage her swelling breasts, in a non- sexual way. Not knowing any other way but that way, I was trying to oblige in her request doing the very best I could to relieve her but couldn?t help but giggle to myself at the very sight of this. She said she was very happy at the end of the massage and rolled over to go to sleep, asking me to turn out the light at the end of it. I closed the door gently as if not to disturb her, and went to ?nd my other client. The apartment?s lights had been turned out for the sleeping children and I found Glen awaiting for me in the lounge room where I had to call out ?Excuse me?? as I couldn?t see him in the dark. There was a throw rug on the ground that he had already placed out as he began to strip down in preparation of the massage. Lying frontwards facing me with his exposed and ever growing manhood, I asked him to roll over to begin the massage. He complied with a cheeky smile and from his eagerness to show he was not shy indeed, I already knew where this was going to end up. I found it much more strenuous to massage on the floor but I wouldn?t let that hold me back I wanted to have a career and this being my first ever clients, I didn?t want them to disapprove. Nearly four hours after I had gotten there I was still hard at work. Mentally preparing for the end of the session he let me know when he was ready to begin the other side to my job and just like Jeffrey did the first time, he requested me to take off my clothes starting with my shirt. When I complied, the requests kept coming in and before I could change my mind and run away, I was having intercourse with this man that was so comfortable doing all of this while his pregnant wife and children slept in the room beside us. When he had climaxed, we both got up and dressed and he paid me a large tip even though Jeffrey would be the one to actually pay me for my time spent there. Just like it had all started, it had also ended so quickly and now that was that. I had to accept what my duties were and now I could go back to Jeffrey who would be further pleased in my demonstrations to keep him happy. I was called the next morning to come over to Jeffrey?s mansion that afternoon for lunch, a swim and of course a massage session. Knowing all too well they?d be expecting the gory details of last nights events with my new clientele. I came there at as requested and sat down for a light lunch and a swim. Jeffrey was mostly conducting business from his offside pool of?ce, but he came to ask me if everything went well the night before. I told him I did everything asked of me and I am quite confident both my client?s were more than pleased with me. He gave me a quick grin, before he headed back to the of?ce, throwing a purple grape down his throat as he walked away. 45 El Copyright l?ruleeled Mnlerial CONFIDENTIAL I78 Lying out on one of the pool decks blue and white striped lounge beds I was waiting for Jeffrey to ?nish his business so I could give him his massage. He never took too long with his work, unless there was something wrong and then we would all have to wear his mood but today he seemed ?ne though, when we went up the stairs he told me we would be leaving for his ranch in Santa Fe?, New Mexico in the morning and I?d need to be packed and ready tonight. They loved leaving in the spur of the moment, Jeffrey once said he checks with his pilot Larry on the best weather before he heads to a different destination. I enjoyed spending time at his ranch being it was my favorite of all of his residences. He had a lavish Mediterranean looking castle on top ofa hill that over looked his extensive 7,500 acres of property. It has an indoor pool, gym, and all the trimmings ofextravagance I could only imagine. I had a great time on the quad bikes, Sarah and I often got scolded for tipping one over going to fast or trying to go up a steep hill, but we knew those weren?t the things he cared about, so it wouldn?t matter. My favorite of it all was his little town with it?s own fire station and truck, stables full of horses, and little cottages where the housekeepers and ranch hands lived. On my own time I would take one of the quad bikes down to the stables and saddle up on one ofhis beautiful horses and go for a ride in the open terrain. It was coming up to the end of a very cold winter and it still had the snow covered mountaintops and brisk air that I loved to take in during my many trail rides. have been an experienced horse rider since my childhood, and could honestly pinpoint some of the best memories of my life being on the back of a horse. I acclaimed with thrill in my voice ?Great, I?ll get packed as soon as I get back to my apartment? he threw in ?Pack for a few weeks, as we will also be making a pit stop to L.A for some business afterwards and then to was used to these round trips with him, it was great as I was saving loads of cash and about to buy myself my ?rst car. Jeffrey, Ghislane, Emmy and I all left the following morning, as planned. Arriving in only a few hours at his awe-inspiring Santa Fe Palace was always a delight. Still frisk in the air, my petite frame looked even smaller in these gigantic overcoats. Nonetheless was looking forward to spending time out in the fresh clean air and open land. After a few days of leisurely spending our time on the ranch, we went to the Indian markets in Albuquerque for a bit of shopping and sight seeing. Jeffrey wasn?t the most off road kind of guy, so when we went sight seeing it was more like museums, boutique shopping, and local art galleries. Still a splendid trip though. With me picking up a few nifty collectables to bring back for my family and knowing how much my mom loves Indian apparel, I thought it would put me back in her good books for awhile, hoped at least. There was some time to put a 46 El Copyright l?roleeled Mnlerial CONFIDENTIAI . 79 little water under the bridge between my folks and i. With my life heading in a different direction I didn?t see any use in holding on to so much hate especially that I didn?t even have to see them that much. We got back to ?Zorro Ranch?, the name Jeffrey chose to call the massive land he bought to buiid his fortress on, and Jeffrey told me that he was looking forward to one of my famous relaxing massages and with that notion he gave my bags of shopping to one of the many housemaids who greeted us at the front door and asked her to bring my bags to the exquisite room I was staying in. We headed straight downstairs just past the massage room and there is an indoor heated pool, shower and spa. First Jeffrey wanted to warm up in the spa underneath a decorated ceiling of clouds and blue skies. Starting the massage in the spa I rubbed his feet while he reclined into the spa?sjets. We spoke of the museum and some of the knick?knacks I had bought and I thanked him for the turquoise earrings and necklace gift, joking about not ever knowing what to get for him, being that he was richest man I?d ever known. By no far means did we ever have any kind of a mutual respectful bond between us, but there was a significant softer side he began to share with me that was different from how he treated his other girls. Maybe it was my feet that filled the shoes for that time being, or the fact my novelty hadn?t worn off yet, but what ever it was I was getting confused from the double-sided life I was leading. He got up from the spa tub shortly thereafter and asked me to come wash him in the shower. It was nothing unordinary to me, I was used to his need to be nurtured and pampered. I performed his request with a cheerfui mannerism, letting him think I was taking care of him out of my sheer sweetness. I got the towels ready for him to get out of the shower and towel dried him, patting his skin instead of rubbing as previously instructed. ?You know you have a very maternal instinct, you?ll make a fine mother someday?, he would constantly acclaim at my gentleness. hope so? I replied, I would love to have my own babies one day, but not any time soon". Laughing at the very thought of that. We walked up the steps and through the French doors into the gym?s adjoining massage room. It was smaller room than in his other houses, placing the emphasis on the large massage bed in the center. I grabbed another clean towel to keep him warm while I prepared the music, lights, and oils. He liked me to use mostly lavender or other aromatherapy scents, which reminded me of woodlands in the spring. Always enjoying the beginning of the massage, I put my heart and soul into training in my profession. I could just close my eyes I would see only with my hands the areas that needed the most work, and even though I wasn?t a professional yet, Jeffrey could feel and told me there wasn?t many that could please him during a massage being untrained. I?m sure now it was just 47 El Copyright l?rulecled Mulerial CONFIDENTIAI . I 80 something he?d say nice to all the girls, but in the time I had known him I could honestly say it wasn?t iike him to compliment girls in any other way than regards to a sexual performance or their iooks. I was flattered at his praise and when the massage was over, so were the sentiments. I was back to being used for my body and what I could do with it. With him satis?ed and off for a nap, I could go do what ever I wanted, like usually I would go down to the stables or something adventurous, but today I was in a melancholy mood, just wanting to relax and unwind myself in a giant tub in my bathroom. I got out some of the oils 1 used on Jeffrey putting them in the steaming water and popped two of my Xanax pills, forgetting about my troubles and focusing on the quiet moment at hand, just wanting to soak up the peacefulness of it. Nearly slipping away to sleep in the tub, I was startled when I got the call on the intercom to come down for dinner. Everybody seemed in good spirits at dinner, which helped to lift mine. We all ate our meals and went into the movie room to watch a newly released movie. It was a ritualistic scenario, most nights that everyone was at ease we would all sit in one of his various located movie rooms and hang out together. Just as he always would Jeffrey asked Emmy and me to both grab a foot during the movie that night and just keep massaging through the film. We were always on call for duty, no matter where we were or what ever time it was. He would just plop a foot up or pass over his hand at any given time and require a massage, even if the ?lm went on for over two hours, I would still be required to sit on the floor rubbing his feet or hands, and even his scalp at times. After the credits had rolled Ghislane got up to close the door to the room and I knew she had received the signals herself and would proceed to manipulate, violate, and use us to satisfy Jeffrey?s urges once more before he went to bed. The blue illumination from the empty T.V screen was glaring in the tenebrous room as we watched her undress in a light that relied on the reflection of the moon through the windows peek to show it?s proceeding display. She walked back to the sofa where I was sitting at Jeffrey?s feet still rubbing away and uncovered her shirt displaying ample bosoms for his appeai. Approaching me like a lioness hunting her prey she stood me up and led me to the other couch across from Jeffrey and situated herself on top of me, sliding her ?ngers through my dress to unbutton my attire, revealing my girlish figure and two small peaks. Pushing my head into her breasts I was being fondled by Emmy at the same time, which took her cue when she saw Ghislane look in my direction. From an occasional glance upwards, I could see that Jeffrey was up to his methodical foreplay stroking his manhood while watching the build up to his main event. They both took turns making me moan from their touches and when 48 El Copyright l?rolecled Muleriul CONFIDENTIAI . Ghislane was ready too she wouid insinuate we do the same to her. She urged me downwards, until my head was between her opened legs and giving into her wanton indulgence, Twenty minutes passed before Jeffrey exerted his last energies for the night, the only advantage of being with an old man was they could never last long. Departing to our own separate quarters for the night, I called T.J for condolence. It was so important for me to feel like had someone out there who saw me as more than a pretty girl with vulnerabilities. I needed to maintain some sort of a connection to my youthful side. But it wouid be to no avail as I was getting used to being badly disappointed by all the men in my life. Chapter 8 The phone nearly rang out and as was about to hang up the receiver when he ?nally picked up. On the other end of the phone I could hardly hear T.J above the background noises. When I asked where he was he told me ?At our place baby?, meaning the apartment Jeffrey had rented for me to be staying in alone. He already sounded off his chops elongating his words and slurring his speech. There was music pumping and people shouting behind him and every one sounded iike they were having a great time. I was so sick of his friends coming over using my house as a place to party and then trashing it so bad I would even have to sometimes throw my furniture out. I blew up at him over the phone and threatened to kick him out, back to his parent?s house, so much for my relaxing evening I thought to myself venturing on to tell him ?You leech off me using the money I leave behind for you for drugs and throw these gigantic parties while I?m away.? Also mentioning the disastrous messes I would come home too. am so close to ending it with you?, I would openly threaten, but he knew better than I did, that I just couldn?t bring myself to do so, needing some attachment to my youth through all of this. ?Don?t worry baby? he would say attempting to soothe me with his false words going on to tell me how much he was missing me and how he was always thinking about me when I was away which was like all the time. I would soon be buttered up and soft for serve. This was my penalty for choosing a guy that accepted my lifestyle with my ?Other-Man? as lhad so eloquently put it to him once as not only acceptable but deemed it ?Cool?. The conversation ended with an easy good-bye and no ?I-Love- You?s? or anything sweet. We weren?t those kinds of partners yet, so much time spent away from each other and the lifestyles we both ied, I couldn?t expect much more from him than what we already had. 49 El Copyright l?ruleeled Mnlerial CONFIDENTIAL I 82 Jeffrey and I left two days later, heading off to Carmel in California for a business trip of his, leaving Ghislane and Emmy to catch a commercial flight back to NYC, where we would meet up with them later, When we arrived at the hotel we were given badges for the meeting tomorrow and settled into our rooms. We got adjoining rooms, keeping the doors open at all times, but sleeping in different beds. He liked sleeping alone, even after a late night session I would always go back to my own room. I think that?s why he liked me so much I never put pressure on him to become intimately more than what we were already, never giving him the impression I wanted more than what we had. It seemed to keep him happy just the way we were together, I hung out with Jeffrey that night, going to a restaurant for dinner and afterwards watching a movie back at the hotel. The next morning we went for an early morning breakfast before the conference and Jeffrey gave me some money to go shopping instead of attending the all day meeting with him. I was more than obliged to accept his request, and wished him a good day before planning to meet back in the room around six pm. He gave me ?ve hundred dollars. He said it was just enough to go have fun for the day and a girl of my means could find plenty to do with that kind of money. walked around the many boutiques that lined the streets of the picturesque cozy town, and picked up some bits of clothing here and there and even met a girl who was passing through on a road trip. She was somewhere in her late teens with golden sunshine tresses, olive skin and blue eyes. Her name escapes me, as it was so unexpected, I think it was Tina or something like that but she was your typical California carefree chic, offering me a few tokes of her jay as we ducked down a side street together. I was so happy I had met this girl, as she was fun spirited and charismatic a relief from the social expectations I had come to know lately, but always being ?on?call? as I had been trained up to be, I ended up inviting her back to meet Jeffrey at our hotel later on as a surprise for him. Maybe she was just a bit too carefree for Jeffrey?s taste but anyhow she was pretty enough to let him be thejudge of that matter. Over the next hour of hanging out together I found out that she was on a road trip with her best friend who was still sleeping off the hard night of partying from the night before. She was originaliy from the southern states as she had a bit of draw still left in her accent, and she had recently left her boyfriend because he was leaving for a college too far away not believing in long distance relationships. Then it was my turn to dish out my contribution to the conversation of getting to know each other better. I always got anxiety before I would tell a girl what did for work and romance (as such), morally I was ashamed ofwho I was especially with a girl having led somewhat ofa normal life. Next, as always, I expected to 50 El Copyright l?rolecled Mnlerial CONFIDENTIAL 83 be probed with so many more questions and having to make Jeffrey sound ideal and hot for the taste of a young girl and knew I would be point blank lying, so I told her some ofthe truth which was that he was really rich and paid good money for a massage and useful to have around as a contact. I told her he?d give her two hundred dollars for a two-hour massage with me leading the way and warning her he was known to be frisky during the session. Unexpectedly she said she could use the money and then came the part that I hated the most, but had to do so they wouldn?t be as shocked as was the first time I had met him. ?He does like us to be nude though and sometimes asks for more than just the massage itself?. All I could do was wait for a response after a shocking sentence like that, and depending on the girl, most were sadly taken back by the money. Her carefree attitude seemed to disillusion for a moment when she gave it some thought and asked me ?He?s not like, fat and ugly, is he?? No. . .no. . .not at all? I replied, ?l?Ie?s got more ofa Richard Gere appeal to him?. Trying to make him sound a little more measurable than just a rich old man that likes to be with girls younger than half his age. ?Well then, what time shall we meet tonight?? She asked next. Great, I thought, Jeffrey would be most pleased with my ?nd. ?Knock on my room quietly, you?re going to be a surprise. Be there at around half past seven tonight and I will introduce you to Jeffrey?. She threw the butt of the second jay we shared in the bushes and we strolled into a homemade fudge boutique to get some relief for the munchies we now had. When I got back to the hotel at around a quarter to six o?clock pm as requested I?d be, nobody was back yet, so I took the time to set up the oils and bath in my room for his massage tonight. I thought I would plan it so the girl would be cleaning off, as Jeffrey liked before he had sexual contact with a new girl and he could walk in and be surprised to find a strange beautiful girl in my room who wanted to massage him. Jeffrey walked through the door not long after I was done prepping for the night ahead, looking like he had a rough day at the of?ce, which was very rare for him. He sat down on the bed and I asked him how his day was. He didn?t want to talk much about it, saying it was boring and long, rather asking what I got up to for the day. Being coy about having ajay and his unexpected surprise to come, I told him it was a great day of shopping and sight seeing and I even brought him back some local made fudge from the shop that had fulfilled my chocolate cravings only hours ago. Telling him of the places I ventured into I mentioned to him ?We?d have to hit the ?sherman?s wharf tomorrow. I saw some locals walking around with breadbaskets filled with creamy clam chowder and it smelled absolutely scrumptious.? He said if the weather were nice we?d check it out tomorrow before we left for LA. He wanted to take off his jeans and 51 CI Copyright l?rulecled Molerial CONFIDENTIAI . I 84 collared shirt and put on his normal attire of sweatpants and a sweatshirt. Ushering him out the door for dinner when he was more relaxed I was lucky when he said he was starving and quickly got dressed. We just found a quite spot to eat that was next to the wharf and got back to the hotel just in time for our surprise guest. He wanted to go have a shower and settle down for a massage, so I told him I?d join him in a minute, I just had to make a phone call real quick which he thought was odd and asked me if everything was alright, I reinstated that I?d just be a minute, trying not to let on about anything. The knock came quietly on my room?s door just on time, as we had planned and I told her my idea to surprise him. I let her into the bathroom where she orchestrated my plan perfectly. Jeffrey finished his shower without me and when he called out for me I told him that I needed him to have a look at something in my room real quick. Not giving in to what it was that he would be looking at, he came into the room where I opened my bathroom door to reveal a beautiful nude girl bathing in a thick amount of soap bubbles in my tub looking at him with an alluring intrigue. His grin went from ear to car when she stood up and introduced herself letting the bubbles run down her glistening body at an ever-slow pace. It was a proud moment for Jeffrey, I had done well in his eyes, and she was not like the other girls I had brought to him before, degraded from a lifetime of abuse off the streets. This girl was exactly his pro quo looking sweet and innocent as the girl next door. My efforts were to show him I knew that my only responsibility was to keep him happy at all costs. I led her through the massage on Jeffrey and of course afterwards gratifying his perversion with his lustful requests to be fondled and watch us become more than just friends. I didn?t feel too bad at the time with his coercion providing many ?nancial rewards making his scheme enticing to a young, impressionable teen not realizing the terrible memories left to come from all of this. Afterwards he paid her the usual two hundred dollars he gave to everyone for their time and took down her name and phone number writing it in his infamous little black book of the contacts he met in every city but only the ones he really liked made it down in his records. We went out the next afternoon as I had suggested last night and we ate our clam chowder breadbaskets over looking the wharf?s bay, watching the seals playfully barking at each other on the rocks nearby. Shortly after we were driven to the private airstrip and took off for Los Angeles. On the plane was an unexpected visitor. Matt Groening the producer of the ?The Simpson?s? T.V show was catching a ride with us. I was so excited, as I loved watching his show and acted like a star struck fan, asking him everything from his initial idea for creating the show to where he got his characters from. He told me it was all based on his own family make up, 52 CI Copyright l?rulecled Molerial CONFIDENTIAL but without the crazy father and son scenes of l-lomers hand around Bart?s throat. I was enjoying our conversation, when Jeffrey insisted that I give Matt a foot massage throughout the duration of the short ?ight. I never turned down a client but when I saw the shape ofhis feet, I nearly threw up at the thought of having to touch them. He had yellow crusty toenails that even someone with a chainsaw would?ve had troubles cutting through and then there was the ?uffy balls of leftover pieces of sock wedged between the crevices of his sweaty toes, now that was the real icing on the cake for me, no way could I attempt this I thought. Then I had an idea. I went to the back of the plane and rinsed a wash cloth in warm soapy water and returned for his dreaded foot massage but not before attempting to clean them first. In return for my services Matt was kind enough to draw me two quick sketches on blank paper from his briefcase of my two favorite characters, Homer and Bart. I asked if he would make them out to my little brother and dad, the true fans of the family not missing an episode during dinner over the past ten years or so. Next to the A-4 size drawing he was able to fit in the quote ?To my greatest fan from Matt Groening? and their names next to it. I knew they?d absolutely love it, and it was such a nice gesture his feet were no longer an issue as I laughed it off and even made a joke to the comedian about getting a pedicure before hitting beaches. The ?ight was only short and we arrived in busy LA within the hour, saying Good-Bye to Matt, who was a pleasure to meet. Jeffrey had a meeting at a production studio for one of the girls he was keeping lured in his grasps, so we were off yet again for more business. We were staying with one ofhis old girlfriends, Jeffrey?s code for ?She got to old for my taste, but was still nice enough to keep around?. She was a tall blonde with blue eyes, a stereotypical Barbie doll. In her younger years she had been a successful model and now lived on the beaches of Santa Monica with a sweeping view of the oceans landscape as her backyard. The next morning Jeffrey and I went out to breakfast. He said Sarah Keller, would be joining us with another one of Jeffrey?s girls I hadn?t met yet, her name was Nadia Bjorlin and she was a Yugoslavian model turned aspiring actress, with the help of Jeffrey, as he so proudly remarked at the table before they arrived shortly thereafter. She was a stunning brunette with olive skin tones and shocking blue eyes. By far one of the most beautiful girls I had ever met before. She and Sarah approached the table, shopping bags in hands already in the early hours of the day. They both pulled out a chair and showed us their new pair of Jimmy Choo?s they had bought on their way here this morning, and excitedly asked for Jeffrey?s opinion. He loved the doting attention and anyone who could make him feel important. We all went back to Sarah?s 53 El Copyright l?rolecled Millerial CONFIDENTIAI . I 86 apartment that Jeffrey rented for her on Malibu Beach. This was the first time Jeffrey came to visit and when we got there you could see why. It was a tiny one-bedroom shack, too small for his likes of accommodation, but she loved it and it was plain to see why, the waves lapped underneath her porch twice a day, what else could anyone want. Before even walking through her door, you could hear the commotion of excitedly screaming females voices coming from inside. There were about five other girls in Sarah?s living room and she had invited them so Jeffrey could have a few different girls to choose from. Jeffrey looked at Sarah and smiled, aren?t you sweet, as all the girls rushed to introduce themselves, hoping for the opportunities Sarah had offered them to come in the first place. We all had some coffee and biscuits while the conversation kept getting louder and louder, every girl trying to talk over the next one. Jeffrey could handle only so much of that before getting too annoyed. Instead of choosing one of the other new girls, Jeffrey wanted Sarah to show Nadia and I into her bedroom. He was anticipating the introduction of his two favorite girls together, what mischief he had hoped we would get up to was apparent when he asked where Sarah had kept her play toys and not the ?sher price ones. Sarah brought out quite a collection of her personal toys and was giggling on her way out as she shut the door. Suddenly the room behind us went quiet, probably hoping to catch a moan or groans too laugh at and I felt so degraded having everyone knowing exactly what was going on. Knowing my duties well I was baffled this time as there was no ritualistic massage wanted. He immediately instructed us to start kissing and fondling each other with the provided toys straight away seeing his excitement grow watching us try and out do the other one with pleasure, he couldn?t keep restraint any longer and started to have intercourse with the both of us, taking his erect penis out of the other to only swap to the other girl, back and forth. This continued for a good fifteen minutes or so while we continued to engage in lesbian acts on each other while the other girl was being subdued by effrey?s thrust?s of penetration. Nadia was just as dutiful as I was in fulfilling his demented requests, willing to lend her body to Jeffrey and those he sent her too, for the sake of keeping her acting career and putting on a good act at that. She was never competition though. Once I found out where she actually came from I took pity on her for the similar life of servitude we were both accustomed too and not that we ever became good friends but we had reason to relate to each other. Later on Jeffrey, Nadia and I went to a production studio in LA, where we had to meet with Nadia?s agent as well as the producer of ?Day?s Of Our Lives?. The meeting lasted five minutes, with everyone in consent to the proposal. We flew all the way out there to talk about money, only to be leaving that evening back to .Y.C . On the way to the airport we 54- El Copyright I?rulecled Millerial CONFIDENTIAI . stopped at a ?fties looking diner and got a cheeseburger and vanilla. milkshake, the ?rst and only time I saw Jeffrey eat what I considered to be real food. Seven lanes to drive in and the freeway was still lined bumper to bumper in the heavy rain. The sound of downpour on the rooftop of the taxi and the of the windshield wipers was making me sleepy. I was looking forward to sleeping through the long ?ight back. Thank goodness we had a private jet to catch back, the trip would be comfortable and not rushed to get there on time through the daily peak hour traf?c. Jeffrey asked me what I thought of Nadia, more of a kiss and tell kind of thing for him, so proud to admit some of his tenacious acts of pedophilia to me that I knew most people would be embarrassed to even think aloud but I said what he wanted to hear when he asked me what I had thought ofher on the way back. I replied, ?She is attractive, funny, and seems to know what she is doing with you.? Laughing at my statement, he then started to tell me the history behind where he got her. Five years ago when she was merely a teenager just tumed thirteen. Her father had recently passed away, leaving adia?s mother in a tremendous amount of debt and living in a third world country, she didn?t have the means necessary to raise her own daughter. When Ghislane approached Nadia for the ?rst time at a music school, she seemed like a maternal, caring stepmother. Telling Nadia?s mother if she let Nadia go with her, she would se to it personally that Nadia receive the best education and chances in life to make it. In her customs it wasn?t odd for a young girl to be married off to bring the family good fortune, so she kissed her baby girl good-bye and sent her off to commence her life of servitude. I sat there speechless listening to Jeffrey brag about his endeavor to get her over here, shocked that he could stoop as low to use a barely teen to oblige his sexual desires. He was laughing and giddy as he replayed the memories of her arrival over in his head, painting me a horri?c picture I had no choice but to imitate a smile to face him with. No pretty girl is safe from the allurement of these villains procuring the youth off ofevery street in the world. I knew that day more than ever before those morals did not exist for people like this. Jeffrey once told me that every girl he has had sexual relations with has bene?ted in their career, ?nances, or an achievement in marriage with a successful colleague of his. Mine was the massage career, ever so often still giving me a lesson from a professional, which kept me quiet for a while longer. I thought I was already knee deep in this world, if I gave up after putting myself through all of this hell it would?ve all been be for nothing. So I treaded constantly at a risk of being replaced by another willing participant and playing the eager student he wanted me to be. 55 El Copyright l?rulecled Mnlerial CONFIDENTIAL I 88 Chapter 9 We met Ghislane and Emmy in NYC, and it wasn ?t a blissful reunion as I hoped for, wanting a break from all of this I wasjust looking forward to getting back to Palm Beach, not leaving for a further four more days. 1 got home late in the evening as Jeffrey invited me out to the movies after we had relaxed at his house for a while after landing. I put my keys through the door to my apartment and walked in to a quiet house. Not thinking anyone was at home set my suitcase on the floor and put my cell phone on charge as I always did to be accessible for whenever Jeffrey or Ghislane could call. I went to get a drink out of the fridge when I heard some noises coming from the back of my apartment where my bedroom was. I started back there and slowly tamed my doorknob to reveal T.J on top of another girl. When they noticed they weren?t alone anymore, T.J got off her with promptness. I recognized the girl from seeing her around at parties, and she was the town lowie, scattering her trail of guys along with her presumable diseases, and I wasn?t shy to verbalize that when she tried to open her mouth and calm the heated situation between T.J and I. She didn?t like her cards on the table in front of the guy she was screwing around with and got up in a ?t of rage to attack me. Still nude with only my new white sheets to cover her body, I threw her out of my house along with T.J. have been paying your way for months, only findng out your sleeping with the biggest slut in Royal Palm Beach, at least have some dignity and higher your standards.? I didn?t really have a leg to stand on since I had started this relationship giving him the knowledge I had a sugar daddy to answer to above him. ?You?re gone all the time and with that old man, what did you expect me to do?? He was right, I wanted what I couldn?t have, but I needed some time to cool down and accept my situation. I loved having T.J around to come home too, and he used to be my best friend in my school days. I convinced myself of the lies I continued to accept. Days later I was still not speaking with T.J, mentally adjusting to my circumstances, I thought I?d have the day off to relax since I hadn?t been called all day. Until about ?ve pm when Ghislane called and said Jeffrey would like a massage in an hour. Grudgingly I got up from relaxing on the couch, got dressed and put my make-up on, meeting Juan downstairs a half an hour later. Jeffrey was already lying on the massage table when I walked in. I started the massage being very quiet from my somber mood, when Jeffrey picked up on it and said ?you know it?s not good to massage people when you?re angry, you could pass on negative energy?. I wasn?t sure if he was serious orjust trying to be nice so I could speak about what was bothering me. Ending up not being able to contain my 56 El Copyright l?ruleclcd Mnlerial CONFIDENTIAL 89 emotion any further I told him what happened with TJ and broke down in tears, a little heart broken from living in such a lie. He turned around from his massage and sincerely paused for a second thinking he was going to console me but instead he laughed at the very prospect of my notion that monogamous relationships ever existed ?Are you serious, he was only doing what every guy in the world does, you can?t hold that against him?. I replied in a lighthearted gesture ?whose side are you on anyways?? His answer stuck with me for many years to come ?I?m on your side which is why I?m going to save you a lot of grief with this one tip, Never expect a man to be faithful and you?ll never be let down, it?s just the way us men are genetically imprinted.? The remainder of the massage I had to pretend like I wasn?t further saddened by his response, but in fact having to act enlightened. I would never come to him for any other relationship advice, ever again. He told me I?d be ?ne ifljust listened to my mentor. He still loved role-playing the teacher and me the pupil, like the old days before he got rich and only used to be a college professor. I ?nished the massage and ful?lled my sexual duties before being sent home wanting to collapse in anguish. T.J was outside my apartment door when I got there, his mom waiting downstairs in her minivan just in case I kicked him out again. He pleaded his guilt and promised that he would never see her again, agreeing with me that she was the town slut and he screwed up big time. I let him back into my apartment and back into my life for that matter but more aware of the world I was being led into believing was of normal conduct accepted by everyone in this sick world. Jeffrey was going back to NYC and told me to have a few days off before his assistant at his of?ce would arrange an E-Ticket on a commercial ?ight for me tojoin him later in the week. I had just made loads of money from my previous trip and wanted to relax like any teenager does, so threw a hotel party that weekend on Singer Island in Rivera Beach, inviting only a small group of friends to begin with. The hotel room quickly filled up with a ?ood of teens and the pumping music was blaring. The room had a balcony overlooking the pool and the beach that became the smoker?s section. I wasn?t a real smoker at that point, preferring to have a puff ofa spiffed blunt instead so I made it my rule to go outside trying to prevent holes in the carpet, but it didn?t last too long when our forbidden walls came tumbling down. Making so much money that I could supply my wild parties with an assortment of drugs like trips, ecstasy, and coke as well as an abundance of alcohol, that T.J had all the contacts for, made my fellow teens admire me. It de?nitely gave me a head swell, thinking here I was so young but so grown up already with all of my peers from high school looking up to me. In the wee hours of the morning we were all still going hard with our eyes 57 El Copyright l?rolecled Millerial CONFIDENTIAI . 190 dilated into little black diamonds. We were all having in depth conversations about life and where we would all end up when this charade was all said done, Nobody got to sleep that night as the room slowly dwindled in numbers as people were ?nding their way home to recover from the repercussions of drugs wearing down out of their intoxicated system. When flew out to NYC to meet Jeffrey the next day, was still in a horribte state. Not knowing what was wrong with me, thinking it was just a bad come down, I rushed out of the elevator and down the hall to my room, sweating profusely, to make it just in time to the toilet to throw up bile again for the uncountable time since getting off the plane. I was having intense cramps in my stomach and when I was called down to meet Jeffrey in the massage room, I had to decline for the ?rst time. I told the housekeeper that I was feeling very ill after the flight, maybe some off food for lunch and needed to lie down for a while. Nobody came up to check on me for hours or even called. Waking up from my much-needed nap, I pulled back the expensive white sheets to ?nd myself in a pool of my own sweat and blood. I was covered in the red stains that drenched the pants I was wearing. I had no idea what was going on, I could only focus on the dire amount of pain I was in. In between the heaves of throwing up and crying simultaneously I was able to reach the phone and called the housemaid on the intercom. I told her I needed to go to a hospital immediately and slammed the phone down only to fall back to the ?oor hurdled in a ball. She didn?t hesitate in calling Ghislane who ran up to see what was wrong. Ghislane then called Jeffrey who was in his of?ce at the time and told him to hurry up to my level, stressing to him that it was an emergency. Thinking they really cared about me for the ?rst time since I had known them, they came with me to the hospital with me. Now realize I was only a liability in getting them caught and they needed to get to the doctors before I could say anything incriminating. They were suspecting the worst now and seeing he never wore a condom with me and from our previous conversations they knew I always made T.J wear one, they feared the situation at hand. When he saw the catastrophic state I was in at that point, it was the housemaid who helped me get up and assisted me down to the car where Jo-Jo was waiting for me. He drove us to either Lennox Hill Hospital or Mount Sinai, I can?t remember, as it was so blurry in such a bad condition. Rushed in for immediate testing I was uncontrollably vomiting and in so much agony, was given an injection to help me to subside the intense pain. A nurse came in to ask who would pay for this and although I insisted my parents insurance still covered me, Jeffrey persisted that he take care of all the medical bills and gave the nurse his information. 58 El Copyright l?rolecled Millerial CONFIDENTIAI . 91 when the pain relief kicked in, everything and everyone dwindled away until I felt like Alice in Wonderland who just swallowed the shrinking tablet and everyone standing around me seemed to move so quick, speak so loud and hover above me. When I awoke from my induced state, I was alone in a different room. Not knowing at all what went on but feeling a little better, 1 called in the nurse who looked through my charts and checked my vital signs. Then told me the doctor would be in shortly to infomi me of the conclusion to my illness. He was a tall man with dark hair, and a hardened look about him obviously from his job and constantly seeing the worst horror stories man could think of, hcjust bluntly told me I had miscarried in early stages of pregnancy. I should be fine to go home as soon as my course of intravenous antibiotics was complete. The news sunk in fast and hit a deep nerve. I waited for the doctor to close the curtain before I let out any emotion and cried for my disastrous lifestyle that was dragging me into a world that I wanted to break out of. This reoccurring cycle of believing I needed men like Jeffrey to succeed in my life was draining the last bits of sensitivity left in my heart. I was picked up by Jeffrey himself who took the doctor alone to the side of the busy hallway to have a private conversation about something. Jeffrey wasn?t comforting at all. instead he sent me back home to rest for a couple weeks. and I only fell deeper into a depression. using all forms of self-medication to treat my sorrows. Two weeks later, as ifJeffrey was trying to lighten my spirits, he told me I would be going to his island to nreet a new client. He is a Harvard Professor, nanrcd Stephen- 1 would be spending two days with him showing him around the island. dining with him, and treating him to a massage whenever he wanted. Without Jeffrey even verbalizing the need to have sex with him, he told me to keep him happy like I had my first client. I packed my suitcase with island apparel, and kissed TJ good- bye, who had at least offered inc a warm embrace upon the news of my miscarriage but none other than that knowing it wasn?t his. Stephen was a quirky little man with white hair and a mad scientist look about him. We arrived separately and I greeted him when one of the housekeepers picked him up from the airport and arrived by boat. instead of helicopter as Jeffrey and Ghislane often arrive on. We made our acquaintances and he looked as if he was tripping Over himself with words, obviously delighted with his company and location for the weekend. I showed hirtr around as Jeffrey had asked and took him on an adventurous quad bike ride around the small curvy paths, leading the way and letting loose my hair, doing something that gave me a natural high instead of the prescription one. The sights alone were breathtaking from the mountainous peaks of the untouched parts of the island, we sat at a cliffandjust sat there, not saying a word to each other besides to ?an 'iglrl Protected Mnlerlal (ill NZ compliment the sights mother nature that appealed to us. I didn?t feel as if I owed this stranger anything but what was expected of me by Jeffrey and I could be polite, ljust couldn?t be myself. We got back to the main villa to see what time dinner would be served so we could have time to unpack and clean up beforehand. We both met at six pm for dinner on the outside veranda. He sat at the head of the table and I sat next to him. politely folding my napkin to put in my lap. The first time Jeffrey and Ghislane had seen me cut meat and eat with a fork and knife they were so appalled, making fun of my unsophisticated habits. Ghislane took the fork and knife in her hands and proceeded to show me how to politely cut my food and eat. Now that my mannerisms had improved they wouldn?t have to be worried about my etiquette when someone important was around anyone. We both drank the red wine supplied on the table and it seemed to warm me up on the breezy night. By the time dinner was served and another red wine bottle later. he scented to get funnier. I made fun of his tousled hair and he poked at me for my skinny legs, calling me a wanna-be- anorexic. When dessert was brought out, he asked if he could receive one of the delightful massages he has been hearing about from Jeffrey. I gulped more red wine down and sweetly complied with his offer, dreading the moment I?d have to see his naked body, let alone touch it. I asked the housekeeper Kathy that had been serving us that night to please have someone set up a massage bed in one of the cabana?s. I went to my room to down a few Xanax, telling him I wanted to freshen up after dinner but to meet me in his cabana in twenty minutes or so. I was ready to go as I had said, twenty minutes later. with the effects of the tablets mixed with the red wine. and I would be free not to feel anything. He was still dressed when I got in the cabana, obviously not accustomed to this and a lot shyer than what I had been used to. I told him he?d need to undress and lie face down on the table. putting a towel to cover his bare bottom to prevent him feeling embarrassed during the massage. I gave the massage my earnest as I always had, and quickly got through having intercourse with him. Not wanting to make any foreplay or anything extravagant out ofit, I let him think that?s as good as it got, and by the smile on his face, I thought I had done enough. The next day I took him down to the beach for a real massage under a tiki-hut on the waters edge. It was one of Jeffrey ?3 favorite places to have a massage, as he droned out to the sound of the waves and my gentle therapeutic strokes. Afterwards we had lunch back at the main villa and went back down to the beach to swim out to the water trampoline about one hundred meters off the dock. He didn?t do any bouncing around or anything like that. It was just a good base point for a rest spot after a long 60 (jopviglrl Protected Mnlerral NJ swim. What was really cool about it though, was you could see through the mesh and watch ?sh swimming underneath. The rest of the afternoon we spent by the pool reading magazines and eating fruit plates. Eventually he went to his cabana to have a nap later on. That night after dinner and my mixed cocktail of Xanax and red wine, I asked if he?d like another massage before I went to bed. He just wanted to stay up watching movies in Jeffrey?s theatre room. As peculiar as that request was to me I didn?t argue it, I just hoped I hadn?t disappointed him in any way that could make it back to Jeffrey. I showed him how to use the remote and turn off the T.V when he was ?nished before going to bed. The next morning we were both catching a flight from St. Thomas and we had no time for anything other than breakfast and packing, which saved me from having to be too polite as we said our good-bye?s from the terminal in the airport, both hurriedly off in separate directions, thankfully. I arrived back in Palm Beach, only to be told to catch another ?ight the next day to NYC, where Jeffrey would ?x me up the money he owed me for treating his colleague out to an entertaining weekend. Chapter 10 I was ?xed up more than what I had usually made for two days, which was great because that car I had been saving for was ?nally within my reach. I had been waiting for the freedom a car gives every teenager for a long time, and now that I had over ?fteen thousand dollars saved up I could pretty much afford to go buy myself a nice car outright. Looking much better than the last time i saw him Jeffrey acknowledged it. I went to his of?ce where he was waiting for me and he had a guest with him. She was unusual looking to the common stereotype drop dead gorgeous girls Jeffrey had normally introduced me to. OfAsian decent, her name was Rena. Jeffrey had met her at an art gallery where some of her own artwork was on display. She had a bubbly persona about her and I could then understand why Jeffrey liked her so much, she ?t into the subservient category that he liked his girls to fall under. It was apparent to me that they had already slept together in the short time span they had met, as there closeness was oddly noticeable and I wondered what it was he was offering to her in exchange for her body. I found out later from Jeffrey that he was buying her artwork, promising her the world as an artist, telling her he?d have her work in the all the museums in N.Y.C and the best art exhibits. Everyone was promised something, and seemed to be bought off in someway or another to be in his company. It was only a matter of time that the truth would come out. 61 El Copyright I?rolecled Millerial CONFIDENTIAI . 194 To my own amazement Rena was to be assisting me in Jeffrey?s massage this day, not being a total knockout or anything spectacular, looks wise that is, but for some reason he seemed intrigued enough. As we made our way through his spectacular mansion she was in total awe at every corner. Commenting on the present artwork and decor that we passed in every hall, it no longer seemed so grandeur to me anymore but hearing someone else speak about it in such excitement reminded me of the days when all of this seemed so unforeseen. When we got to the massage room, or ?The Dungeon? as I used to put it for it?s medieval looking appearance, we out of custom all had a steam shower, where Jeffrey expected me to walk her through a servants duties, telling her to take his other foot and start rubbing in small circles and stroking the arches of his foot Rena took the instructions well and began to massage him too. When we all went to the shower next and she followed in my exact lead washing his body as well. Jeffrey absolutely loved the fact that two teenage girls were dually pampering him. Jeffrey wanted to move to the massage bed and I had to further begin to show her about the body, upon his accord. She mimicked my every move up his legs and buttocks, keeping up with every stroke until he could not contain his arousal any longer and was already requesting us to start kissing each other, the start of the very reason we had even met in the ?rst place. He blatantly stopped the massage nowhere near being complete and turned over to announce his increased arousal in a physical abundance of grotesqueness. Moving over to the small couch in the corner of the room he made a space for her to lye me down on the massage table as she had commanded him to do in such a domineering tone that he wasn?t used to being spoken down to with. From that very moment onwards and from the look on his face he was yearning for her to orchestrate an hour of deliverance upon my meek nature. He started to stroke his erect manhood as he was being tantalized watching her take over every inch of my body in a dominating act of seduction. I was left breathless and soar after my ?rst introduction into the world of Rena considered herselfa dominatrix, she loved bondage, whipping hitting, and eventually cutting her sex partner with little sharp knives until they subdued to her punishment in agonizing pain. She was absolutely crazy if you were to ask me, and I couldn?t help but wonder what got her into this in the first place. All I knew was that Jeffrey was absurdly taking into the appeal of watching us two interact, often with her acting as my mistress who would fondle me with an insurmountable amount of whips and toys. Then she would love to finish off every session by hitting me across my face with a hard blow from the back of her hand and sneering over my curled up body showing Jeffrey her ability 62 El Copyright I?rolecled Millerial CONFIDENTIAL GllIlTRl'zOO-llgi to make others surrender to her extreme force. She could be so opposite all of the sudden and be tenderly intimate with Jeffrey stroking his penis lovingly and even speaking in baby talk to him, which he seemed to adore. He loved us pairing up so much that within months he made Rena an official even renting her an apartment at the same place he had one for me during my extensive trips out to .Y.C. Sending us out shopping together at all of the underground seedy sex stores downtown we would bring him back thousands of dollars worth of sexy out?ts, sex toys and bondage material. His favorite one was a black leather studded collar that lead down the back of my spine to cuff my hands and feet together, offering Rena the most compromising positions to wield her afflictions, one she was excited to pick out for my usage. She was good at eradicating my softer side though. Helping me forge an unpredictable scenario of me turning the tables on her, making her at my will instead of me always being at her twisted discretion. Jeffrey loved the rivalry between us, both striving to dominate the other one but to me it was just another way of surviving her punishment. All for show I thought she was a madman let loose in a torturesome domain of violent sex and unbearable beatings. I wasn?t sure how long I could hold off this charade of M, Ijust didn?t want Jeffrey to think I couldn?t give him everything that she could, always being replaceable in his company. She and could often come across as good friends to his blind but it was only a matter of time before the animosity inside of me was going to snap. Doing normal things too made it all half bearable. Having a lot of similar interests we did fun things like go to the theatre to watch ?Phantom of the Opera? or visit several historical and art museums together, afterwards treating ourselves for a giant piece of greasy .Y.C style pizza. Like I said, we really liked each other purely as friends but the dominance in the massage chambers was taking it?s toll on our strange friendship. One average trip back to NYC, she surprised Jeffrey with a six foot by six-foot oil painting ofher and I lying nude in a ying and yang position facing each other. Although we were soliciting each other with sexual innuendo the picture was still very carefully orchestrated to perfectly portray the darker side of Jeffrey?s thrills. It was an amazing piece of work, besides the lewdness of it, but she would?ve known that?s exactly what kind of art Jeffrey liked. He was so astOunded by her gift as he had previously asked her to construct a small painting of us together but was not expecting anything of this grand magnitude she had presented him with. He lifted her from the ground and twirled her around before he thanked her profusely and embellished her with his profound gratitude, the only thing Jeffrey had to offer, he handed her a small wad of cash as her payment. It was the most appreciation I had ever 63 El Copyright l?rulecled Millerial CONFIDENTIAL 196 seen him show a girl. Obviously moved by her gesture, he got her an exhibit in ?Metropolitan Museum of Art? where she submitted her very own piece. She sculpted an image of my headshot out of clay, shaping it with the strands of my long hair blowing across my face. I was taken aback myself at her creation. She really did have an amazing talent if not for her meaner streak she would?ve been a great friend. I will never forget Rena, for all of the ups and the downs we endured together. It wasn?t too much longer before I ?nally had enough of the abuse in the bedroom and i had to tell Jeffrey what I was feeling. She was getting even more violent as time went on, and with her questioning me and Jeffrey why she didn?t get brought on long trips with him, she didn?t get the fact that she was just a tool for him to use. Jeffrey said he was already thinking about getting rid of her off of his ?regular list?. He said she was becoming too clingy and he didn?t like clinginess orjealousy. never even got to say good-bye or take the opportunity to keep her as a friend, like a girlfriend to catch up with once and awhile, but that?s how it was with Jeffrey, one day you sat under the blanket of his comfortably and the next without any warning you could be discarded like yesterdays news. She would?ve taken it hard but that?s the game we were playing and it was for those who knew what lines not to cross. I was further surprised the next day when Jeffrey gave me a thousand dollars to go shopping in downtown Manhattan to find a classy dress, on top of being sent to the exclusive beauty salon ofcelebrity stylist ?Frederic Fekkai? for a new look. It was amazing, to be pampered like royalty. I walked out of there feeling like I had replaced a young girl with a young woman, I felt beautiful. He had yet another surprise in store for me. Ghislane called me and told me I need to go to a photo-developing store and ask them for two l.D photos then bring them downtown to Jeffrey?s Manhattan office. Weird request I thought. I was more used to posing in full body shots being sexually exposed as a gift for Jeffrey. I did as they asked and took my two photos into the office where Jeffrey?s assistant was waiting for my arrival. Still not telling me what the headshots were for, she took them from me and told me to have a seat for a second. A moment later I heard Jeffrey call me into the of?ce. like what you?ve done with your hair, you?ve gone more blonde, suits your glowing tan?. I replied with an appreciative ?thank-you? for sending me to such a renowned and shopping money. I showed him my ?nds for the day, an elegant off the shoulder navy blue dress that had two layers that would swoosh and sway with my every stride. I couldn?t wait to wear it on a special occasion, and I wouldn?t have to. The pictures I had to bring to him, as he would proceed to tell me, were for my first passport. I was so excited, we were going to France for a close friend of Jeffrey and Ghislane?s birthday party, famed super-model Naomi 64- El Copyright l?rulecled Millerial CONFIDENTIAL Campbell. I was so over-joyed with excitement, what girl my age with a background like mine was attending socialite parties and globetrotting the world. It only made it harder for me to see beyond the elusive walls I had put up to protect myself from the appalling truth. We left in early April first going to London, Paris and then our final destination being St. Tropez in Southern France. If Hallmark had a postcard, St. Tropez would de?nitely be on the front of it. It was beautiful spring weather and every where you looked women were dressed in bikini tops branded with some kind of designer label embedded into it and the men were following them around like harping dogs in heat. In all of the elegance of the Mediterranean, ?La Bastide De St. Tropez? was an impressive landmark. Jeffrey and Ghislane were staying in one of the private cottages, on the park on the grounds, while Emmy and I stayed in separate quarters inside the hotel. The old style cobblestone streets were lined with boutique shops and beauty parlors. It was the hedonistic stomping grounds of the beyond rich and famous. The next day we went out to lunch at the grand opening of the infamous Nikki Beach Club, where a cheap glass of champagne costs around two hundred dollars and if your not keeping the alcohol consumption ?owing like water, you?d be asked to leave to make way for the constant ?ow of prospectus patrons. That?s where I first got to meet Naomi Campbell. She was wearing the typical attire strutting around southern France, a bikini top and a wrap around mini skirt to go over the swimsuits bikini. She was so tall and stunningly beautiful. Her charisma was energetic, funny, and everyone seemed to hang off of her every word and laugh at her every joke. Ghislane and Jeffrey kissed her cheeks and wished her a happy birthday, and then I was introduced and followed in their suit. She was surrounded by a league of assistants, friends and fans, which didn?t make it easy for us to all converse but she got enough time in to invite us abroad a yacht of a fellow she was ?kind of seeing? at the time for the before party ahead of tonight?s event. We went back to the hotel and I gave Jeffrey a massage in his room before we all headed down to the pool to soak in some of the year?s first sun?s rays. I loved wearing my new ball gown and feeling like a princess. It was absolutely sensational and made me feel as ifI ?oated in the dress. I swept up my long hair in a twisted clip, only letting down a few curly strands and layered on the mascara. Receiving many compliments throughout the evening when we eventually left the Yacht to make our appearance at the main birthday bash, I couldn?t help but feel excitement for the party to come it was the first celebrity birthday bash I had ever been to. Being introduced to model after model and the rich men that followed them around became dizzying. Jeffrey sat back and watched as I buoyantly worked the dance floor, coming back to the table where he 65 El Copyright l?rulecled Mnlerial CONFIDENTIAI . 198 was, only to grab another glass of champagne every now and then. Every so often he?d introduce to me to someone new, pulling me aside to show off his eager young masseuse to his fellow pedo?s. These people had so much money pouring out of them. I don?t know why he even thought they?d care in the first place. It made me feel good though. At least I knew I made him proud to have me in his company. Being surrounded by so many of Jeffrey?s colleagues and his likeminded people that were considered the most sophisticated and the highly esteemed of today?s world nearly made the way I was living lately more fathomable, at least to myself. I thought if everyone looks up to these people and they are all accepting ofit, it must bejust the way the world turns. I danced with a young prince that night and with all of the help from the bubbly champagne I couldn?t remember his name for the life of me. On one of my trips back to the table for another glass, Jeffrey leaned over to quietly whisper in my ear that it was a prince that I had actually been dancing with and I didn?t phase me in the least way. I went back to the dance floor and continued to let my hair down. It was a fun bash, the entire crowd sang ?Happy Birthday? to Naomi and by the time we got back in the car to retreat for the night, I was giddy from the drinking and dancing all evening. We had a guest in the car, and apparently we had already been introduced, but I couldn?t even remember his name in the ?rst five minutes of our meeting again. He was the hotel owner of some large chain in America called ?Hilton?. Staying at one of the cottages near Jeffrey, he saw it quaint to loan me out for a night?s massage to ruin an ?almost? perfect evening. Jeffrey told me to come back to his room after I was finished with Rick, thankfully he reminded me of his name but also odd I thought, being so late I would?ve never imagined Jeffrey could stay up this late but I never made a fuss out of his requests. I gave him affirmation of my understood instructions and headed off with this stranger into the darkness. I dimmed the bright lights in his bedroom to a softer tone as if it might aid the vision of this short, balding man with straggling remnants of curly brown hair left to show for the remaining bits of youth left in himundress and lay on top of the towel that I had picked up from the neatly folded pile at the end of his bed and spread it over the duvet. I didn?t want to waste a second in his place, getting right to the very reason I was even there. Turning around while he was getting undressed, being our first time together, I wanted to give him the impression I was actually a therapist and not a finale to the end of the nights entertainment. Not exactly what he had in mind though, given that my impression was already made for me when Jeffrey arranged for our meeting in the first place. His chuckle to my response was condescending as he came up behind me and unzipped my dress which floated to the 66 El Copyright l?rolecled Mnlerial CONFIDENTIAL bottom of the floor as he was saying ?You can?t really expect to give a massage wearing this, here sweetie, I?ll help you out of it.? Hejust wanted to see the hidden bounty my clothes were hindering his eyes from seeing. [just went about my way trying to get his hands off lie down for a massage Making quaint conversation with him was pointless as I was trying to send his thoughts elsewhere other than the apparent perverted schemes replaying in his mind from the heavy breathing he was making and the looks he was giving to me. I was using all of the tricks in the ?tum-off? book even asking him about his wife and kids. Unquestionably he was in seventh heaven turning every one of my distractions into another ?attering compliment. He was saying things like love what you do you to me, I have never felt like this before, come stay with me and will pay you double, no, triple whatever Jeffrey pays you!? Knowing he wasjust a drunk idiot, I wasn?t being lured in by any of his offers of money or a privileged lifestyle, I knew these cages all too well and was better off sticking with the one that was at least accustomed to already. Holding back any composure now, he was going extremely wild ravishing at my body trying to tear off my panties like a hungered wild animal. After all of the champagne I had drunk that night it gave me the nerve that I needed to know exactly how to handle perverts like this one, who had been no different from every other shmuck in my life, and I quickly shut him up with a blowjob lasting no longer than two terrible minutes. It had only been shy of a half an hour before I was already getting quickly get dressed and hurrying out his cottage door. When I got to Jeffrey?s cottage rushed through the door and told Jeffrey and Ghislane, who were sitting front of the fireplace reading a books, that I never ever wanted to see that guy ever again. When they asked me what was the matter, I told them of every thing that had happened that night even how he offered me to come work for him getting paid triple. I established a lot of trust with Jeffrey that night. He asked me why I didn?t accept the offer and I responded with Who would look after you, if I were gone?? Like a caring grand father would do, he pulled me into his chest for a hug and told me that it meant a lot to him. It was so late and was so tired but I still had to give Jeffrey his massage that night. He asked me to just rub his feet as he fell asleep, and thankfully he was out like a light in no time. The next morning I took two headache tablets and a ginger ale instead of a coffee. Trying to contain my hangover as best as possible behind a pair of sunnies it was mid afternoon by the time I had felt like myself again, We spent the day Yacht hopping, soaking in the sunny weather while Jeffrey and Ghislane caught up with old acquaintances, Emmy and were just accessories to look good on the arms of them. The next day we wrapped up the tail end of 67 El Copyright l?rulecled Millerial CONFIDENTIAL GIUFFREOO-JZOO our trip and commenced our flight back into the US. was paid a generous amount and set off to go car shopping as soon as I got back to Florida. Through a private seller, I was able to pay out right for my car. I got a Dodge Dakota in cherry red, and immediately had an impressive sound system put in. She was my first pride and joy and taste of freedom. I would love to drive her down to Lakeworth Beach to sit in my car and watch the waves while I listened to my stereo blare music and puffed on a jay. Letting the rest of the world pass by while I sat back and watched them walk past wondering to myself what their story was about. I turned seventeen that summer and had accumulated a string of exotic destinations that I had travelled in such a short time. I was given more make-up and a pair of diamond earrings from Jeffrey. Ghislane only wished me a happy day, wondering at times if she felt threatened by Jeffrey?s and my closeness. We went to the island after we left NYC and I asked If Sarah would be meeting us, mentioning it had been a while since we had last seen her. He said he had some bad news about her. Expecting the worse, thinking she had gotten hurt or something, I was astounded when Jeffrey told me that she had been sent to his island with one of his friends for a couple days and when the housekeepers were cleaning her room and they found a stash ofcocaine left out carelessly in the bathroom. He said he had no choice but to let her go. Addicts with no respect for themselves or his wishes had no leeway in Jeffrey?s book. He didn?t mind that I dabbled in drugs once in a while as long as I never brought them along with us on any trips, except for my Xanax, which he didn?t mind because it was pharmaceutical and most of all wouldn?t cause him trouble being a legal narcotic. Sarah took it too far when she crossed international borders with an illegal drug, risking her welfare and almost costing Jeffrey public attention. She lost her apartment and contacts in the acting world, only hearing from acquaintances once in a while that she was sinking deeper and deeper into the black hole of addiction. It was sad to find out, as I always did like her. At the island, Ghislane had just recently obtained her helicopter pilot?s license and wanted to get some practice airtime and ?ew Jeffrey and I to St. John where we picked up Alexandria Cousteau, the grand daughter to the inventor of the scuba tank and underwater explorer Jack Cousteau. Ghislane was out to set us aft?right in the air, but it was all talk, she was actually an impressive pilot. Still a daredevil though, she got her kicks out of hearing us fret on the earmuffs intercom?s. Jeffrey made it clear that Alexandria was a guest when I was told to adhere to her if she wanted a massage, which I obliged her with several times during our first meeting. it was Jeffrey who instigated that her and I reenact as lovers in lesbian acts of foreplay and penetration. I couldn?t imagine a girl with 68 El Copyright l?rolecled Millerial CONFIDENTIAL such high prospects lowering herself to something of effrey?s standards, but I later found out through Jeffrey that he had donated money to her continuous exploration into marine life and habitats. She had followed in her family?s footsteps, all of them involved in Marine Biology in some way or another. We actually got along really well, she was a real decent girl, and loved talking about her passion, everything underneath the waters surface. When I wasn?t busy giving massages to everyone around, her and I would hang out together. Often we go swimming in the clear pool of ocean that the Caribbean had to offer. Once we swam out so far not paying attention to our location and were carried out to sea by the current. We took turns on the backs of each other, taking breaks again st the strong ocean tide. It was almost a possibility that we nearly drowned out there, if it weren?t for some guys on a boat out ?shing for the day when they caught us in their view. They picked us up and brought us back to the island where we were reprimanded by a worried Jeffrey and Ghislane to first of all let someone know where we are going at all times, and never to lose sight of the shore while out for a swim. After that learning experience I took their heed and proceeded with caution. I had a newfound respect for the ocean and it?s mysteries. Having such a lover of the water as a guest, made Jeffrey want to explore parts of his Caribbean he had never seen before. The next morning we were met by a scuba instructor in St. James and given a few lessons in how to use the gear and more tips like how to descend slowly to the ocean ?oor as not to cause blood clots as well as visual hand signals to communicate underwater. It was so exhilarating beneath the waters surface. No voices to listen too, only the enchanting sights to take in. We explored the surrounding reef and found a large squid, many of sea urchins, and the magnificent colored coral that housed a many of the rich variety of the local species of fish. It was such a great sight to take in. Holding a permanent mental picture of those adventures to carry in my head for all times. We all had such a great time that Jeffrey hired the same scuba instructor to come out the next day to scuba dive the safer parts around his island. We got bored quickly with not much to see but seaweed and a fish here and there. It didn?t take long before Ghislane decided for us all to explore other numerous locations by boat, Jeffrey needed a bit of convincing at first and the instructor was quick to assure him that he knew his way well around these waters, of course he would say that, he was getting paid a hell of a lot to do this in the first place, why not extend it a few more hours? The clear water glistened and the tropical array ofmarine life was on display as we wanted to stop at so many places but you could see as 69 El Copyright l?rulecled Malerial CONFIDENTIAL beautiful as it was it could be as equally dangerous. It took so long as we had to veer away from so many desirable spots. Finally we found a good place that the scuba instructor thought was safe. He buddied us up into pairs and we jumped off the back of the boat into the aqua blue waters beginning our descent slowly into the darker regions of the oceans ?oor. We were situated on open water with a cavern of reefs to venture in and around down below. It seemed to be quite a choice to scuba in, one that our guide said he wasn?t familiar with but to alleviate his bored clientele deemed safe to swim around. It was Jeffrey and the Guide together, Ghislane and Emmy, and I was paired up with Alexandria. Miles, the houseman, came with us and stayed on the boat just in case something went wrong and lucky he did. We were all too far under the water to hear his alarming screams of distress when shadow?s lurking in the murky distance started appearing closer and closer. Ghislane actually looked frightened for once as she gave us the signal to start ascending upwards, reminding us by holding her ears not to go up to quick or as we were previously warned before we could pop a blood vessel in our brain and hemorrhage to death, not a very lovely image but neither was getting torn apart by sharks.Those giant shadows became clearer and soon enough we could recognize their indistinct species as the terrifying and more aggressive breed of sharks, the hammerhead. Grabbing Miles hand I was the last one ahead of the Guide to get on the boat imaging the worst as I waited behind Emmy and Alexandria who were the next to follow after Jeffrey and Ghislane I was in too much shock to scream or cry, ljust told myself I had to stay calm to get out of this alive. Unlucky for us we found out later on that we were in their breeding territory and being sent a clear message that we were soon to be on the menu to their feeding frenzy. We all felt like we had cheated death and I know it wasn?t only my heart that was still beating out of my chest when we headed back to Jeffrey?s island. Jeffrey was pale as his designer sheets and looked like he had aged another ten years in such a scared state. Ghislane took the heat off herself even barely taking a notice of beforehand and decided to poke fun at all of us frantically scurrying to get out ofthe water, it was just her nature, as I had never seen her move so quickly either. We got back to the island and all collapsed our fatigued bodies in our own beds for a long nap. Freshened up and much more relaxed we regaled our horrendous story again over dinner, this time in laughter. The following afternoon Ghislane piloted us all in the helicopter to St. John?s Airport and we said good-bye to Alexandra where we all parted ways. I met her a few more separate times in Palm Beach at Jeffrey?s Mansion, but she wasn?t a regular of his, probably not as easy as the troubled girls were to bribe. 70 El Copyright l?rolecled Malerial CONFIDENTIAL Chapter 1] Throughout the remainder of the quickly passing year was on a constant move with effrey. Attending various dinner parties, mostly with other esteemed billionaires and widely acclaimed scientists. Jeffrey likes to surround himself with the most brilliant and powerful of minds, ?lling his little black book with some of the most esteemed and even infamous people in today?s wealthy society. lt was during those intellectual gatherings that my body was also put on the banquet menu but this time for a powerful senator George Mitchell and another prominent Nobel- Prize winning scientist who?s name would be mentioned but for all the life of me can no longer remember. They would be only some of the recognizable figures of the high society that became added to my list of clientele, of course being introduced to for a lot more than just a client of massage. As an amusement to Jeffrey?s associates 1 also knew my place was to entertain but not to every desired content. I was to show them a good time but not the way 1 would have to use technique and effort for Jeffrey. The very teachings from Jeffrey him self, or my tutor, as he liked to so eloquently put it. Consistently being used and adored for the likeliness of my youthful looks I was becoming very accustomed to my lifestyle with Jeffrey, never really relaxing into it, but just accepting this as being as good as it will ever get for me. I didn?t think I should be complaining, wasn?t I being offered a life in exchange for servitude? Just letting the signs of my anxiety and depression pass me by while I blanketed them with my pills, suffocating under a blanket of pain is all 1 was really doing. I spent Christmas and the New Years holidays with Jeffrey in NYC, who doesn?t celebrate the occasion, as he is of Jewish descent. Not that he was a religious man anyways, never even saw him celebrate Hanukah either, We stayed at his ranch in Santa Fe for a week, then left for a long plane trip to Paris, France where we all suffered jet lag for the next twenty four hours. We all stayed in a grand hotel with a view the Champs? Elyse. Emmy and I shared a room and with her gifted ability to make new contacts in just a few hours, she brought out a jay to share on the rooftop at nighttime while we were overlooking the lit up Eiffel Tower. We never got really close as buddies but we both knew what we were indebted to and felt each other?s sorrows. All four of us went out shopping at Chanel, Ralph Lauren, and many other little exclusive boutiques the following afternoon. As a gift Jeffrey bought me a white terry clothed goose feathered sofa and had it sent back to my apartment in Florida, and bought some new tapestries to have sent back to Santa Fe for his ranch. 71 El Copyright l?rulccled Mnlerial CONFIDENTIAL We also visited his up and coming Paris apartment. It was a modern, typical ?at being refurbished, and we went to see how it was all looking. Jeffrey liked to fuss about every detail and harass the builders about their work, changing last minute details at a whim. Days and many croissants later we left for Spain feeling bloated and sleepy, We only stayed in Spain for the afternoon, going to see another astounding Moroccan castle for Jeffrey to replicate at one of his many mansions. It was only a short plane ride to Tangier, Africa for more castles hopping. We arrived at the historic landmark and the only ?ve star hotel in Tangier called El Minzah in the village of Ville Nouvelle. The city and outskirts were still very hostile at the time, females being warned to not walk the streets alone and not to leave the house after dark or be at risk of being raped or worse. When we got to the room, it was oozing with every expected bit of extravagance that a luxurious historical palace should offer until I was greeted with a pile of monkey poo in the very middle of my bed. Not a happy camper I called Jeffrey, Ghislane and Emmy into my adjoining room and they all had quite a good laugh at my expense. Within a moments notice of a complaint call to the front desk and we had an attendant cleaning up my bed linen. The cleaner noticed the window was still opened, he warned not to leave it ajar at nighttime just in case another monkey wanted to make himself comfortable in my quarters. Ghislane joked that maybe should keep it open I might find a suitable husband before I get any older. Always the instigator of a good joke but unable to take one herself she didn?t like when poked back that it was more in her recent taste of men, since she loved to brag about her rendezvous with her various lovers. Once she came back giddy as a schoolgirl with an explosion of news, with all the build up and excitement in her voice you?d think she was the next crown princess, but she had given George looney a blowjob in the bathroom at some random event, she never let that one down. We all went to explore the towns surrounding Moroccan castles and meet their royalty that lived in them. effrey?s personal interior designer?s met us at the residences. They walked around hurriedly, scribbling notes into their clipboards and whispering between themselves. The palaces were historically unique and beautiful but I wondered how could they live so grandeur behind these walls when they lived in a city of such poverty stricken squabble. Beggars lined the streets, people could just go missing and no one could care less, and you heard of barbaric murders happening every night. Against the advice of the Palace Attendant and Jeffrey?s wishes, I decided to take a stroll one afternoon, mainly just to take photos of exotic Africa and do some shopping in the village markets but I ended up being intrigued by a group of young children playing in the streets. 72 El Copyright l?rolecled Mnlerial When was noticed watching them, about ?fteen of them came up to me and began to beg for money and food. I was over taken by the poor, hungry children and I felt sad for them all and wished I could help out somehow. When the tide of kids washed away and the street went empty, I was overcome with intrigue at these two little boys. Brothers I found out later on, and there only toy was an empty can they were kicking to each other in the middle of the street. Intelligent kids, they were able to speak three different languages, including English and I was interested to ask them about life here. They didn?t seem to notice or be bothered by their poverty stricken lives. They told me about their school and parents and I thought I had just heard the saddest story ever but they were accustomed to living like that like I had been so accustomed to my degrading lifestyle for so long. I was compelled to empty out the contents of my purse, giving them over two thousand dollars in US currency. A passer-byer snapped a photo of the kids and me for myself to take home as a personal souvenir before they rushed home to proudly show there parents the money. I told Jeffrey later on of my good deed and he couldn?t believe I?d give away my money so carelessly. He told me I had set up their parents with enough money to feed and shelter their family for a year. Wasn?t that a good thing? I couldn?t believe it, not that I was well off or anything close too it, but to realize how lucky I was and to not have compassion for the lesser off, especially children ofa third- world country, I wouldn?t be human anymore. Then again what did I expect from someone who could numerously steal another man?s daughter for the use of his own sexual pleasure with great ease. We went out to lunch the following day with Jeffrey?s team of designers to wrap things up and after Jeffrey?s afternoon massage he went to the palace to have a nap. When I was all alone I thought I?d go see the culture of the local unique markets again and this time buy some trinkets to bring home. I got to sightseeing and took pictures of the legs oflamb hung over the blood drenched doorway over people?s homes as to warn off evil spirits and the ghettos where the iocal villager?s called home. I walked into many of the market?s stalls and saw the most peculiar antiques, such as weaponry with the blood of it?s last victim stained on it?s sharp blades and body pieces of various animal?s for the use of religious sacrifices. I was more interested in the different culture and respecting their ancient way of life with interest, instead of squirming like a tourist and getting grossed out. I thought it was so educational and enthralling in fact, I ended up buying a few sacrificial trinkets to have sent to my apartment in Palm Beach. Not to say that I wasn?t looking forward to getting back to the luxuries of western civilization it was a bit like camping, fun and adventurous but as equally dangerous and thrilling. 73 El Copyright l?rulecled Millerial CONFIDENTIAL When we left for the final destination of our trip I was looking forward to eating normal food again, not one to stray for foreign dishes, I?m a more of a cheeseburger and pizza kind of girl, a true sign of my American heritage. We landed at the Heathrow Int?l Airport and greeted by a driver that would take us to Ghislane?s town house in London?s central that Jeffrey had recently bought and refurbished as a gift for her. Emmy said ?Good- Bye? at the airport, leaving us to go to her hometown in the rural nearby to visit family for a six-week holiday from work. It wasn?t a very long drive before we were in the heart of the city and at Ghislane?s place. thought it was a cheery townhouse that had character and the historical pub in front of it and cobblestone streets only added a unique charm to its presence. They were going out for dinner and invited me along with them but seeing I was so exhausted from all the travelling and looking a bit melancholy, I apologetically declined going out for dinner that evening, I rather would be taking a few pills to catch up on some needed sleep. ?Are you sure your Okay?? Ghislane asked as she showed me to my room, more considerate than she normally was but I assured her that I was in absolute good health, just tired from all of the recent jet lag. Without another word said she whisked off downstairs, to the car where Jeffrey was waiting for her. I took the liberty to call my parents house to say ?Heilo? and catch up with them since I hadn?t been home at all for the holiday season this year, always too busy working. They sounded really happy to hear from the phone to talk to my brothers as well. I got to tell them about my travels abroad and I had some cool tribal stuff from Africa that I bought for them. They sounded so proud of me, all of them, and why shouldn?t they be? In everyone?s convinced mind I was making great money, travelling the world, and meeting new faces everywhere I went, why should I spoil anyone?s delusions, especially mine. took my sleeping tablets and had a bath before falling into a deep and much needed sleep. The next morning I was woken up by Ghislane who I could tell was in a chirpy mood by the way she paraded through my closed door saying ?Wake-up sleepy head? and opened the window?s shutters to let in the bright sunlight, she had never done anything like this before and I knew immediately something big was happening. She sat down on my bed as I rolled over from my deep slumber and was able to mutter for an explanation as to why she was awake so early. ?Besides the fact it is ten o?clock in the morning and nearly time for brunch, we have a big day planned out for you today.? She was waiting for my cue to ask her ?What are we doing?, when I did, she responded with a convincing enthusiasm ?We?re going shopping for a new ensemble? she paused for a moment to 74- El Copyright l?rulecled Millerial CONFIDENTIAL build the suspense, before completing her sentence To go dancing with a Prince of England this evening?. Hoping it would be one of the younger generations, I was disappointed when she told me he was the Duke of York, Charles?s younger brother Andrew. I looked at her with a fake surprised lookmany occasions in my time with them, to give an impression of excitement. ?What. . .wow!? I exclaimed with my gifted acting ability. It is a sad realization but I had grown more accustomed to seeing people for their signi?cance rather than the good qualities they possessed, and was able to grin bear the thought of what I expected lay in store for me. Ghislane and I left shortly thereafter for the many lanes of designer shops to choose from in London. Her pep talks to prepare me for my duties towards royalty went on and on, giving me the obscure impression I was something of importance, at least for more than an evening. ?Make sure your bubbly and energetic, nobody want?s a dead horse? was one of the cheap tools she instilled me with. ?Who knows where this could lead for you? was another. As the day grew shorter my anxiety only heightened, anticipating the Prince?s arrival and unable to decide on an outfit, I picked out three. Our last stop for the day was Burberry?s for a nice handbag to compliment our chosen attire. We got back to her townhouse with still a couple hours spare to get ready. After trying on all three out?ts and many mental debates with myself later, I decided on the pink mini-tee and dazzling pair of denims with horses embroidered into a pattern. It seemed a lot more my style and age group rather than the other two older looking sophisticated dresses 1 had picked out. I told myselfl was going dancing at a club not to an opera. As most young girls can be during their body changes into womanhood, felt awkward, you know, big feet, freckles and body hair in unwanted places. They?re things you just don?t want when your seventeen and then you see these iconic billboards of what femininity is supposed to represent and just don?t fit into that picture, never feeling what we all are absolutely perfect. By the time I had got ready I was a nervous wreck, but trying to keep my cool on the outside was an act. I thought it?d be a good idea to take a few Xanax before the evening unraveled and my anxiety went through the roof. Jeffrey and I were sitting in the lounge room downstairs, waiting for Ghislane to finish getting ready. The room was silent, only stillness in the air. I stared at the mural painted onto the wall that was facing. It was an interesting piece of artwork. In great detail it illustrated a happy looking family sitting on a bench overlooking a pond that resided on a large piece of land with a beautiful home displayed. There were also hunting hounds and the hunters chasing a game of fox like the notorious ?English Hunt Pieces? throughout history. Jeffrey took notice of my enchantment into 75 El Copyright l?rulecled Millerial CONFIDENTIAI . the picture and in a hushed voice proceeded to tell me that it was a portrait of Ghislane?s childhood, the part she could be proud of. I never realized how prominent her family?s history was in England, apparently as to Jeffrey?s attest, her Father was born of poor Jewish decent in Czechoslovakia, most ofhis family being killed upon Nazi invasion in 1939. Fleeing tojoin the British Army as a young man, he changed his name a few times and made a lot of contacts in the ?eld. After the war, a newfound Robert Maxwell went into publishing using his army contacts to establish a business initially built upon publishing scientific books from occupied Gemiany. In time, Maxwell acquired several British newspapers, among them the Daily Mirror, countering his wits against the likes of Rupert Murdoch along the way. However, whilst constructing his publishing empire, Maxwell compiled astronomical debts, and his equivocal financial dealings attracted the attention of governing authorities that judged him not to be looking out for his companies best interest and in the end it transpired that Robert Maxwell had been using proceeds from his employees pension funds to meet his financial debts, ruining the futures of thousands of employees. Once an esteemed Member of Parliament and publishing mogul, Robert?s body was found ?oating in the Atlantic Ocean after he was found to be missing from his yacht, the Lady Ghislane (named after his favorite child), whilst cruising the Canary Islands in 1991. Jeffrey went on to tell me that when her Father died she was inconsolable, and in a very bad state. He picked her up from the trenches of despair and took her under his wing, and it?s there she has stayed comfortable ever since. To Ghislane his peculiar need to have so many woman around and even his taste in younger than legal one?s didn?t seem unconventional to her. It was her own Father who was deemed a womanizer and even took a second wife whilst still married to Ghislane?s mother. I would have never guessed this carefree, spirited, and vivacious woman had ever endured such sorrows. I couldn?t help but look at her in a different light from then on, but not letting her know that I knew, to avoid any altercations between us. Like clockwork Ghislane came downstairs five minutes before Prince Andrew were to arrive, wearing a tight-fitted white wooly turtleneck singlet and a nice pair of loose fitting trousers. Looking elegant and casual at the same time, a very hard look to achieve but one Ghislane had always easily mastered. They both seemed at ease poking fun at my obvious nervous state, just another ordinary night out for this extraordinary couple. The knock came at the door just after six o?clock in the evening. Ghislane greeted him and the guard who would wait for his return in the car. She led him down the hall to where Jeffrey and were sitting. We both stood up and Jeffrey shook his hand, while Ghislane proceeded to introduce me and as was taught by her was English 76 El Copyright l?rulecled Millerial CONFIDENTIAI . custom, we both kissed on the check. We all sat down on the lounges for some tea and biscuits while conversing idle chitchat. By the sounds of it, Ghislane knew well of his recently divorced x-wife Fergie, whom they were all taking turns in slandering her for one reason or another. It was apparent there were some fresh wounds still lingering on and as good friends do, it was their way of helping him get over her. When his daughters were mentioned, Ghislane and Jeffrey treaded only speaking highly of them, and offering their sympathy to the young ones. The conversation turned to a much lighter subject. Andrew wanted to know more about this young guest they had to join them out for dinner and dancing that evening and then the Spotlight turned on me. I was more nervous than I had ever been before a night out with someone, probably the build-up Ghisiane and Jeffrey had hyped this meeting up to be. To break the ice, she played her favorite guessing game. . .?how old do you think Jenna is?? When Andrew guessed correctly, I was seventeen years old, she was surprised, thinking I could have passed for younger. guess we are going to have to trade you in soon? she laughed, always the ?rst one to throw in her quick-witted two bits, all of them chuckling along with her. Hardly a laugh at all, unknown to me at the time his eldest daughter is only ?ve years my junior. I was ?nding it hard to make much conversation in the beginning, just laughing when the occasion called for it, and keeping up with Andrew?s constant glances in my direction, was alt I could manage. The restaurant was a close drive for us with Andrew, his two guards and his driver following behind us. I was seated next to the Prince for dinner and Ghislane and Jeffrey next to each other, an evening pre-ordained. I was supposed to ?atter him with compliments and dote on his every word spoken, but I didn?t even do that for Jeffrey blatantly, it would?ve felt awkward to act like a bimbo for him. Instead I remained cairn, cool, and collected, hoping that my nervousness wouldn?t spill out at any given moment. The next place we were going was much more my style, and I found it easier to relax. We pulled up next to a called ?Tramp?, a member?s only and one of the most exclusive haunts in the world for the rich and famous to be seen for the last forty or so years since it?s doors first opened. Andrew?s guards waited outside while we all went in to hit the dance floor. Jeffrey being the social introvert that he was found the first available empty seat in the corner but facing the dance ?oor to spend the evening watching everyone else have fun and Andrew went to the bar to grab us all drinks. He came back with sparkling water for Jeffrey and a cocktail for the rest of us, already knowing that Jeffrey never drank alcohol. We downed our glasses and made our way to the crowded dance floor, where I had the Prince?s upmost attention. Moving his hands across the curves of my body, not to shy away from the fact 77 El Copyright l?rolecled Mnlerial CONFIDENTIAL l0 that he was in public, he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear and kissing my neck. I would just giggle not really knowing how to reply to an aging man with a bad smite and terrible moves, it would sound too much ofa lie ifl retaliated back about his swagger. He was the most incredibly hideous dancer I had ever seen and couidn?t help but laughing on the dance floor and shooting glances of embarrassment to Jeffrey and Ghislane who were having a good time laughing at my expense. . .as the always did. After an hour of pelvic smashing to the DJ ?s pumping mixes we finally exited the ?oor, his royal highness was dripping with sweat and ready to embark onto a quieter scene where he said we couid be alone, not knowing that it had already been arranged for all of us to meet back at Ghislane?s place but complied with his so called thoughtful request. I was so anxious about getting back to the townhouse, knowing what expectations I would have to not only have meet but also exceed in this case. Ghislane and Jeffrey seemed impressed at my attempts to entertain his royal hi ghness, so far giving him exactly what he wanted the impression that I idolized him. They told me that he really iiked me and was having a great time, so far tonight. When we got to the townhouse, his guards walked him to the door, staying to wait outside in the car. Ghislane met him and brought him upstairs where Jeffrey and I were in the study. We all chatted in the hall for a few minutes and I was able to have Jeffrey snap a photo of us together, one that would cause much controversy for the Buckingham Palace in many years to come. The conversation didn?t linger on much longer before Jeffrey and Ghislane dispersed downstairs together, leaving me to my own sort of royal duties. They walked away giddy as if they were teenagers imposing on young iovers about to embark on a romantic evening. Next to the study was the bathroom where I led him to next. The room was dimly lit masking the light from showing the disparity in my eyes. It was a beige marble tiled ?oor with porcelain Victorian style bathtub in the middle of the room and nowhere near the size of effrey?s residences. I turned on the taps for the tub and the heat from the water began to steam up the small room. On the basin were aromatic oils, lotions and soaps, ioving the scent of floral notes, I poured in the lavender bath oil. Trying to do the best of my youthfulness to try and act seductive, I gradually began to strip off my clothing, piece by piece. Giving him time to savor the moment to come. He loved every second of it as I went over to where he was waiting and watching, then began to undress him at a much quicker pace. We kissed and touched each other before submersing into the hot water, where we both continued to reenact foreplay. He was adorning my young body, particularly my feet, caressing my toes and licking my arches. That was definitely a first for me and I couldn?t help 78 El Copyright l?rolecled Mnlerial CONFIDENTIAI . but laugh, I hoped he didn?t expect the same treatment back. Through my recent experiences with Rena, I drew a line with extreme fetishes, especially ones that would involve my tongue and feet in the same sentence. It wasn?t hard to get him wound up to the point where he just wanted to have the rest of me so we dried off from the cold and retired to my bedchambers for the longest ten minutes of my life. Moments later and without any real emotional attachment, he burst in ecstasy, leaving me to my own feelings of dismay. As relieved as I was to see the experience come to pass with him, it was finally sinking in that I would never be anything more than but a muse. Still trying to ascertain a surreal dream a young girl once held but no longer the same girl I was no longer sure that the dream was even real anymore. In the whirlwind thrown together by wealth, power, and privilege I was but a grain of sand and felt helpless down the road I was naiveiy being led down. When the real picture was unveiled, later in my life, I had nothing but memories tilled with sorrow to remember of my teenage years. Jeffrey, Ghislane, and I left for the states to conclude our long journey home to the U.S.A. I was so happy when we landed on our soil and called TJ from my cell phone to see if he?d meet me at the airport instead of going back to Jeffrey?s, he?d be there within twenty minutes, he was so happy to hear my voice and that I was back in town. So ecstatic to be getting away from my iife of servitude for the next few days, I was sourly disappointed when I got off the phone. As if he?d been listening to my entire conversation, Jeffrey told me he?d like a massage back at his place and he could pay me at the same time for my trip with him. With much dismay I had to call T.J back and cancel the arrangements, I wouldn?t see him until later that night, in which one of effrey?s staff would drive me home and I would be too exhausted to do anything. Chapter 12 When we got back to Jeffrey?s mansion in Palm Beach he wanted to thank me for showing his friend, the Prince, such a good time. Rewarding my diligence with an extra sum of money and luring me deeper into his goal of keeping me at his side as his personal amusement that he could lend out at anytime. Further proving his capability of using the vulnerable impressions ofa young girl to influence and intimidate his fellow peers of 79 El Copyright l?rolecled Mnlerial CONFIDENTIAL l2 like minds. Jeffrey didn?t want to know the grim details of how it all happened on my intimate night with the Prince, he just asked simply ifI thought that I did well in keeping his friend happy, Knowing already that the evaluation of my performance I gave was already discussed between them, [just as simply repiied back with a nod of approval. Though I did have a laugh with Jeffrey about the Prince?s weird ?xation on my feet and lets just say that he was quite tickled with Andrew?s quirky obsession, having a good ol?chuckle at my eccentric encounter. I was paid extremely well this time, putting my money earned into nothing but popping pills and alcohol by shouting my so called friends a good time, aiming for the attempt to forget about my experiences abroad. I partied like that to feel young again, my age and most of all to self-anesthetize my troubles from within. it wasn?t like I was waiting for someone to arrive on his white horse and take me away to a magical world. I simply yearned for more out of life than being someone?s replaceable amusement. Still a romantic at heart I wouid often get Iost in my daydreams, imagining a new beginning with a strong man that would show me an enduring love, safety in his arms, and a lifetime friendship. Though the suggestion of true loves existence was only a dream for now, something I could only read about in novelistic fairytales but the passing thought from time to time was warmly envisioned. With my inner most desires being locked away in a deep crevice of my heart, I knew my romantic notions wouid be absurd in Jeffrey?s eyes. For some unknown reason to me he couldn?t allow himseif to give love or receive someone?s heart in return. Once he said to me when I asked him if he ever thought he would settle down and find Mrs. Right and he told me he didn?t believe that love with one monogamous partner was possible but he found that love with many was. I thought at the time it had something to do with having so much money and everyone wanting him for that instead of seeing him as a person and even felt bad for him, but now I can understand from his recent lessons unlearned that it was a simple equation of his twisted perversion to become infatuated with the vulnerabie youth off the streets. Spending so much time in the entrapment of etfrey?s embrace, I was becoming numb to the feeiings and aspiration to ever climb above this deep hole I had dug myself into. I knew I wanted to escape from this bizarre form offirst class slavery but I still didn?t have the tools necessary to help me get out. How could I have? Everyone that knew me believed I was living this enchanting life, a rags to riches success story that most people dream of, only i knew the price to be paid for all of this and was the only one who could pay for it. Underestimating my true self, was settled by effrey?s side for now considering him to be someone to took up to, my mentor. Such a 80 El Copyright Prolecled Mnlerial CONFIDENTIAL l3 complicated battle within myself, it is one I still ache to fully comprehend today. Sunny spring days melted away the ice off the frozen streets ofNew York and the harsh winter winds begun to gently blow away the dead leaves, making the caged trees appear to have some form of life again. I hated the cold winters there, it would only add to my depression being locked indoors. Give me hot Florida days blistering in the sun where I can swelter by a cool pool and sip cocktails with pieces of fruit and little oriental umbrella?s floating around. What a vision of solace? Looking around my extravagantly decorated mid-evil room I was reminded of the desolation that I was more than accustomed too. Knowing it wouldn?t be long before I was summoned again for another ritualistic occurrence in fomicating with my master, I hardly bothered to leave my assigned chambers, scarcely being sent home for a moments break, I just accepted my fate. As I predicted the intercom buzzed momentarily and I heard Ghislane?s voice come over and request to meet them in Jeffrey?s study. Not an odd call, I would often meet him there first so he could tie up some un?nished business before heading to the dungeon, or what was thought to be the massage room. Making my way down the hall, I had an eerie feeling wash over me, as ifI had several pairs of eyes on me, watching my every move. A cold chill moved up my spine and I had to move my thoughts elsewhere, too easy behind these walls to succumb to my fearsome anxieties. I punched in number one once inside the elevator and it took me down to the ?oor where Jeffrey and his surprise guest were waiting with anticipation behind closed doors. I cracked open the heavy wooden doors and a familiar face revealed itself. De?nitely not expected or pre-warned on my part but I already knew what he was here for or at least why I was called down to the study. Prince Andrew had that notorious cheesy grin slapped over his face, as he looked me up and down like a shiny new car on display and he was about to take it for a test drive. Ghislane led me to the decadent sofa he was lounging on and twirled me around to give him a good lookover before sitting me down on his lap. Like a show pony I knew exactly how they wanted me to be paraded around, with the last of my dignity long lost, I had nothing more to lose. It was easy to give them the reaction they desired, all Ihad too do was pretend to be entertained by their lewd gestures, and when Andrew cupped my breast with a doll made in his image, I only giggled away. Ghislane wanted to take a picture of the bizarre scene and even got Johanna, another one of Jeffrey?s so-called personal assistants, to come sit on his other knee for the snapshot, giving the impression girls couldn?t stay away from Randy Andy. Many crude jokes later and I was asked to show Andrew to the upstairs massage room. I?m sure he already knew where it was from previous 81 El Copyright Protected Material CONFIDENTIAI . l4 encounters with Jeffrey staff but I led the way anywaysguest of honor. Entering into the dim room it took a few minutes for my eyes to adjust to the darkness, but knowing my way around the room was enough to ?nd the shower. I turned on the steam room and began to undress myself. Andrew followed my lead and disrobed, throwing his attire to the floor. I wanted to run and hide feeling his hands touch me again, but my servitude for Jeffrey kept me there. Getting out of his stronghold I turned my attention to the steam filling up and tried to turn his attention to the marble bench where I suggested he take a seat while I rubbed his feet. By the look in his eyes I knew he could care less about a foot massage, his real desires were being shown by the arousal his body was forming. He indicated where he wanted me to touch him and how. I fulfilled his seedy requests, but onlyjust. There was no pleasure in this for me, the only thing I derived from this event was to sink further into my slumber of depression. I couldn?t remember a time when I felt needed for anything other than my body or amusements thereof. After his massage was thoroughly conducted I couldn?t wait to get back to my room for another shower. Sitting on the ?oor of the shower under the harsh spray of water, I scrubbed my body where he touched me. Feeling abhorrent and ashamed what I had become, I let the water wash away the grime. As the days progressed into nights and the nights followed a trail of destructive months, my outlook on life had diminished into utter sadness. I had lost my spark and my ability to look like I could handle the abusive state of affairs I had drifted into. Sinking deeper in the euphoric state of being on coke and pills, not only was my mentality dwindling away but also my looks. I sure as hell didn?t feel like a seventeen year old anymore and now I wasn?t looking like one. My eyes had dark circles underneath them from not sleeping and my bones protruded from my skinny waistline and chest. This made Jeffrey apprehensive in keeping me around as often and before I had a moments notice, I was out of money and looking for ajob. When I questioned him what was happening, he told me I wasn?t the same girl he had ?rst met some time ago now and looked like I needed a break from working so much. I?ll call you next time I?m in town? was the last thing he said to me. Chapter 13 Going back to an average teenagers life was more of a harder transition than I would?ve ever thought. Jeffrey stopped paying my expensive rent and I was forced to get off the drugs and look for a real job to feed and shelter T.J and I. It was much harder than it sounded, but I was craving 82 El Copyright Protected Material CONFIDENTIAI . l5 this in every possible way. Even though a week?s wages for working a full-time job as a waitress didn?t come close to the money I had made in a coupie hours of working for Jeffrey, I was happier than I had been in a long time. I made some friends at my new job and found my duties to be easy and pieasant. I was good at making customers smile and keeping them happy becoming the waitress that made the most tips for the night, which in tum made my co-workers happy since we?d all spiit the tips at the end of the week. For the ?rst time in a long time I had boys my age hitting onto me, and not that was ever taken aback by there attempts but it reminded me of how it felt to be around a younger crowd. I missed so much of what couldn?t get back and the more I tasted it, the more I remembered how to smile. The relationship between TI and I began to falter in a way that was beyond reconciliation. Fights became physical and I saw sides to him that only pushed me away more. He refused to look for work to help pay bills and he became utteriy frustrated not having his usual cocktail of assorted drugs to keep him from feeling anything at ail. He didn?t like the fact I was growing inside and thinking beyond his elusive world. I had gone through too much to accept another form of abuse and degradation. Making that point very clear to him by kicking him out of my apartment back to live with his parents, I felt liberated like never before. I kept up with my rent and cleaned my act up. Enroiling in a yoga course and keeping my focus on staying fit and healthy became my oniy source of enjoyment. I was free and living for myself. While out doing the grocery shopping one evening I couldn?t help but stop at the local pet store and fell in love with a furry pooch. She was a Japanese Chow-Chow and a bundle of fur that more resembled a baby brown bear than a dog. 1 took her home with me and instantiy she became my best friend. We went for several walks a day and she bore the brunt of many tear ?lled conversations, she was my loyal companion who understood more than anyone had before, all I reaiiy need was someone to listen and funny enough it was her that filled that hole. Nearly three months had gone by and not a word from Jeffrey or Ghislane. With T..I out of the picture now too all I had to concentrate on was work, my parents and brothers, and of course my dog, Mary-Jane. I was going to family night dinners and bon tires again. My older brother was getting married to an amazing woman in a few weeks and I got to be apart of their beautiful ceremony. Small details of life?s journey that I already missed so much of and now being able to smile at the simple things day in day out really seemed to put the real value of life into perspective for me. Everything seemed to be working out for itseif and was really happy, until he came back, thought he?d come over my place one evening while I was sitting at home just watching TV. 83 El Copyright l?rulecled Millerial CONFIDENTIAL l6 Obviously mentally distorted from whatever choice of drugs he was smoking that night. He screamed down my apartment complex, going mad and scaring my neighbors I felt like had no choice but to iet him inside. 1 tried talking to him as a good friend would, just wanting him to see what he was doing to himself and what he had become. Part of me still ioved him and took pity on watching him spiral downwards. Taking him back into my life was not a decision I made whole-heartedly, but was something i did out of guilt and what I thought was loyalty. He moved his clothes back to my piace, which was all he ever owned anyways and we tried to pick up the broken pieces. T.J being still badly addicted to many drugs, I had to be very careful where I kept my jeweiry and expensive items. I decided to rent out a space at a locai spot and store my cherished items away, just taking the necessary precautions, I thought. Stiil not working I knew how he was scraping by money and I didn?t agree with it, was a known thief and had been caught several times attempting to steal things, even as stupid as and P82 or Xbox games from a local Biockbuster. He even stole from his parents, his sister and his brother and would probably steal a piece of candy from a five year old kid if he knew that it would get him his next fix. l-le hated the change in myself, reaiizing I couldn?t be brought back down by his ways but knowing I stilt stuck by his side and defended him from anything that would hurt him wanting to believe that he still wanted show the bits of human nature left in his empty heart. Unable to stand by and see me do well for myself he contemplated a way to try and bring me down. After a busy shift one night, he retaliated with another show of control. I hadjust finished cleaning up my area and setting out the tables to be ready for the next day when I went to the bar to hang up my apron and put my nights tips in the tip bowi on the counter by the beer tap. On one of his drug induced rampages he stormed into the restaurant where was working and started to pick a ?ght with me. I knew he was off his face when he started accusing me of sleeping with my manager on shift that evening. Having no bias or ground to stand on in his attempt to make me look bad in front of everyone, I just laughed him off as a drunk idiot who needed to go home and sleep off the night?s repercussions, although I was fuming inside that he embarrassed me but I still made excuses for him and told my boss I had to leave early to bring him home. The bar was deserted as TJ waited alone for me slumped in a barstocl and looking worse for wear. I had to go to the back of the restaurant and do some explaining to the manager on duty, I couldn?t afford to lose my job over this incident. Surprisingly he was sympathetic towards my diiemma and even told me I could do a iot better than that schmuck, patting my back and telling me to have a couple days off. 1 punched out 84- El Copyright l?rolecled Millerial CONFIDENTIAL l7 and headed to my car with T.J in tow. For the rest of the night he was oddly quiet and asked to be dropped off at his parent?s house, I was more than obliged to do so. I couldn?t stand the sight of him let alone want to be around him tonight. Being so revved up it didn?t yet dawn on me that something wasn?t right. The next morning I was woken up by an alerting phone call, I had the manager from the restaurant where I worked, on the other end screaming at me and asking where the money is. I sat up in bed, completely awake now, and asked him back, ?What are you talking about, what money?? His tone had calmed a bit and he could hear the earnestly in my voice and explained his accusations ?The tip jar was empty after you had left last night and there was over a hundred and fifty dollars in there, now it?s missing?. The answer hit me instantly and I got a terrible knot in my stomach. . .T..T. When I left him at the bar not even thinking about the tip bowl to talk with the manager, he saw an opportunity to fund more drugs and he took it. That?s why he didn?t even want to come back to my apartment last night. It was all too clear for me now and I tried to explain to my manager about my boyfriend?s sickness and asked him to take the lost money out of my wages. have no choice but police report for the missing money?. I couldn?t believe what I was hearing. How did things turn upside down so quickly? I exclaimed ?Even though I?m paying you from my pocket for money I didn?t even steal and you?ve never even had any problems from me before?". His apologies were short and icy, nothing that could be done. I slammed down the receiver only to pick it up again to dial parents house and to no surprise he hadn?t slept there last night and was not able to be reached. I felt like I was in a bad dream I wake up from and with no money to pay rent, eat, or even survive, I was back to the drawing board. The week passed without hearing from T.J, he was in hiding, for now. When the phone rang early one morning I expected it to be him, instead it was a surprise phone call from a familiar voice. Jeffrey decided to give me a call to invite me over to his Palm Beach mansion for some lunch and to catch up, it really was just his way of ?nding out if I was cleaned up and ready to come back to work for him. With my life in chaos once again and having to borrow money off my parents for grocery food, I saw a quick solution to my situation and was even convinced this is what I had to do to take care of myself. He greeted me at the door and led me inside. Ghislane was at her usual spot, her desk working away, and we headed past her with a quick wave and lip?synced a ?Hello?, not wanting to disturb her important sounding phone call. She glanced up quickly and gave a brisk wave my way, then put her attention back to the computer. Once we were inside the poolside cabana, which was Jeffrey?s office, gym, Jeffrey took a seat behind his 85 El Copyright l?rolecled Millerial CONFIDENTIAL 8 desk and told me to have a seat across from him. He took a sip of water from an already poured glass and asked if I?d like some. ?Yes, Thank you" My reply was short and polite, already just wanting to get this meeting done and over with. His face was like steel and his expressions were stern, I felt like a child in trouble sitting in the principles office. He cut straight to the chase wanting to know ?Are you on drugs anymore?? There was a moment?s pause as I took a deep breath and told him the entire truth. got really depressed for awhile and coped with my emotions by blanketing them with mind-altering substances. Just smoking a jay to relax wasn?t good enough anymore. I needed to be high and ?ying to believe I was happy and dealing with all oflife?s curveballs. Snorting things like coke and popping amphetamines replaced my sorrows with an overflow of endorphins, making it possible to keep up with everything, until I would come down and the cycle just kept on repeating itself". He listened to me continue to tell him about the good things that have come from the break. Like my dog, yoga, and working at a restaurant, making lots ofnew friends but most of all, I got my smile back, without the drugs this time. He was really happy to hear the upside of everything, but there was one thing I was reluctant to tell him about. My recent travail that T.J effortlessly caused at the restaurant where I was so happily employed. As my manager had warned he had to file a police report stating that after I had left, the tips were gone, putting the blame solely on me. Giving Jeffrey a clear picture of the entire ordeal he exclaimed ?What are you doing with this idiot Jenna, he is no good for you! I know you can do better for yourself, why do you let him drag you down every time?? Nodding my head in concurrence I went on to finish my epic drama. received a phone call from the PBCP asking me to come in about the money, I told them what happened over the phone but they still want me to come in. I don?t want to have a record for something I never did or ever would do!" I put my face into my hands and covered the tears now trickling down my cheeks. just can?t believe this is happening to me when everything has been going so uphill, now I?m out of work and in trouble? I wiped my face and looked up at him What do I do?? Enabling him as my mentor once again, his sly grin said it all. Jeffrey normally hated when girls made waves in any way and this one would be considered a tsunami but this time it worked to his favor. He wanted me to come back to work for him, continuing my massage studies and I needed his help. In his eyes he was doing me a solid, which in return I would have to scratch more than his back for. Taking his time to contemplate what to respond back and what solution he could offer, I began to worry that maybe I shouldn?t have done this. 86 El Copyright Prolecled Milleriul CONFIDENTIAL GllIlTRl'zOO-ll l9 Pulling a few tissues out of the box, he passed them across the desk to me. Trying to retract any damage done I said to him must look like such a mess to you and making you iisten to my saga, I am so I shouldn?t have come to you with all of this.? He looked surprised and sympathetic ?Quite the opposite actually. I?m glad you?ve come to me for help. I have got a lot of connections especially with the Palm Beach County Police Department. I give them regular hundred thousand dollar donations, and after I speak with them there will be nothing more to worry about. To be honest I?m more in shock about how much can happen to you in such a short time, your life is one big soap opera? Now he was chuckling and trying to make light of my somber mood. Laughing along too I replied, I know right? Drama just hangs around me like a bad smell?. We did some more light-hearted catching up and went out to the poolside for some lunch and a swim, concluding the evening with an erotic massage upstairs. He paid me the usual two hundred dollars and asked me to come back tomorrow. ?In the meantime I don?t want you thinking about your sticky situation, consider it dealt with?. His attempt to brighten my spirits had worked relieved about money and the police but now I owed myself to him feeling indebted to him more now than ever. Chapter 14 As was promised I never heard back from the Police Department and Jeffrey had his favorite girl back by his side. We picked up where we left off ever better than before, lbeing entirely subservient to every sexual desire of his engaging myself in any role he wanted me to play. As he was getting older his appetite for sex never hazed, if anything it only increased. The orgies with other girls got larger in numbers and his appeal to younger girls, new toys and wilder nights expanded from once and awhile to quite an often occurrence in Jeffrey?s company. lput it down his new friend and business investment, Jean-Luc Brunel. A long time agent for young and upcoming modeis, Brunel, a French citizen, was known for roaming the world in search ofyoung, naive beauties living in poverty stricken countries and willing to dojust about anything for money. He would procure them mostly from Clubs in South America and the Former Soviet Repubiic. Filling their heads with fairytales of America and large amounts of money, he would promise them all of the ?ner things in life, sometimes even throwing a pit] in their drink, if that meant getting them in his bed was becoming too much of a task. What he wanted is what he got, which is why him and Jeffrey 87 El Copyright l?rulecled Mnlerial CONFIDENTIAL ultimately became close pals and he invested one million dollars into Brunei?s company. In return Jeffrey now had suppiy of girls on tap for him to choose from. With the assistance of each other, Brunel obtaining the illegitimate visas for underage-overseas girls and Jeffrey housing them at his brother?s apartment complex on 301 66?11 St, Manhattan, they were quite the team. Jeffrey and Brunel would charge them for rent, forcing them to work for them selling their bodies for money, nude pictures, and even pornography. These were what seemed like really nice people with not so nice intentions setting an impression of how the dignified wealth play and behind closed doors they had as much civilized manners as a barbaric chimpanzee in heat. Giving a girl a step-up in finances by teaching them there only worth is what lay between their legs, us girls all were the same in the end, regardless of what country we came from, what language we spoke or our cultural indifferences, we all were being used for one thing alone, our youthful looks and beautiful bodies. Being Jeffreyjs permanent sidekick, 1 would have to part-take in a many of the hedonistic exploitations that went on at one of his many residences, which meant having to be uninhibited with many girls my age and younger. Being complete strangers was hard enough but we couldn?t even understand each other, speaking in different tongues we were expected to excel at preforming many acts oflovemaking and foreplay on each other, while being observed by a man in a corner jerking off. Not exactly what I would call an advantage in my stage of life, but in my head I was convinced we all had to do what with life and ifthat meant doing all of this to keep Jeffrey happy, then I would do that. It didn?t take long in the accompaniment of Brunel for Jeffrey to hit an all time low, at least one that I knew about. Stupid enough or sick enough, I don?t know which one it is or both but Jeffrey bragged about his birthday present from Brunel, once accepting three, twelve year old girls, sisters at that. He replayed the descriptive events with me telling me how they all massaged him and ?nished him off orally. He was so excited about the entire event, replaying over and over again over the next course of weeks how cute they were and how you could teil they were reaily young by the small amount of hair growth in their pubic region and non- existent breasts. A twelve year old, are you serious? I thought to myself. I still can?t shake the feeling of disgust when I recall the look on his face as he told me time and time again of how his lust brought him to that profound low. He went on to tell me how Brunel bought them in Paris, France, from their parents. Offering them the usual sums of money, visas, and modeling career prospects was a bribe of the worst kind, they were just children. Laughing the whole way through, Jeffrey thought it was 88 El Copyright l?rulecled Mnlerial CONFIDENTIAL absolutely brilliant how easily money seduced all walks of life. . .nothing or no one that couldn?t be bought in his eyes. Behind the two of them followed a destructive trail of those in their path that were misused, violated, degraded in a variety of ways for one to satisfy the desires of the perversion that rotted their hearts. The next couple of months I spent in Jeffrey?s company, my life was revolved around him and his petty happiness. Arising to the occasion, I was no longer his teenage sidekick, I was growing into being a young woman and my body was blossoming like never before. Out of the awkward stages ofmy life, I now took to looking after myself like never before. Regular sessions in tanning beds and keeping fit became my life outside of Jeffrey. He kept telling me what a beautiful woman I was developing into and would offer suggestions to help me look good. Sending me to dentists for regular teeth whitening consultations or helping me choose my attire for the evening, he was ushering me into a whole new position, training me up for something else, but I was unsure of what that was. Being a snotty little teenager was a girl of the past. Now I had to be his eloquent speaking, desirable to all and almost his personal porcelain doll. I went everywhere with him again, all of his eclectic dinner parties, conferences, and meetings with various members ofparliament, famous celebrities, and other esteemed billionaires. .most of whom lived by the same rule of thumb as Jeffrey did. Quite an alarming realization having to accept this world the way it is. Jeffrey knew all of the right people in this game, and trading girls for favors is how he kept in tie circle. He was at the center of it all, blackmail being the only thing next to money with the ability to pull a many of strings, his conniving ulterior motive was to drag all that he could down to his pitiful state of mind. Inviting easily tempted acquaintances to his island or his other various residences he would bring out the assortment of young girls and pass them around like they were cocktails on a platter. No girl had a choice in whom they went with, only completing a task, we would have to charm and bedazzle these ageing fat men who other than paying for it would?ve never had a shot at getting to know a beautiful girl intimately. I personally belonging to Jeffrey rarely had to be loaned out and it was a big occasion, or should I say favor, ifI was. I?ll never really know what made me so important or special to Jeffrey, it definitely had nothing to do with love. I guess in the end I will always put it down to my capability of being whomever he wanted when he wanted, so compliant it just made it easy for him to have a personal toy at his constant disposallived in a jail with no bars, and in a country where slavery was supposedly abolished a long time ago but still existed right underneath everybody?s noses. Myself and so many other girls were walking proof of it. 89 El Copyright l?rolecled Mnlerial CONFIDENTIAL I still was given proper training in massage therapy from time to time, keeping me from looking back at being a teenager with no responsibilities to being a young adult with prospering titles. He knew I wanted to be self- sufficient so bad I would do anything for it and by giving me this dream to hold to only kept me in check. looked forward to my training sessions, holding onto every word passed down to me and after the session was complete would hurry back to my room and transfer the information into a workbook with associating exercises. Trying my new moves on Jeffrey always impressed him, he would get excited hearing about my passion for knowledge and would tell me he could see it transfer into my massages, always giving it my all, my hands were a focused energy when I was at work. Using every ounce of strength to apply on a body, many were astounded in what I could do for being such a small girl, and Jeffrey loved it, using me for a two?hour massage ?with benefits" sometimes being over twice a day. Ghislane would sometimes use me to massage her still but it wasn?t as common, she preferred a man for thatjob. Then would come the odd client here and there, of course set up by Jeffrey. Most of which were orchestrated to get beautiful girls comfortable and consequently naked then he would go in for the kill, so to speak, touching them intimately, in their most private ofplaces like their vagina, breasts or anal. When he had us where he wanted, willing and able, then would come the toys, outfits and so on, A scheme he has used time and time again, telling those who know him well ?he had never been turned down yet?. It was starting to dawn on me how I wasn?t getting any clientele that weren?t used for Jeffrey?s benefit and would make me wonder if I just wasn?t good enough for that, but I kept quiet, never wanting to make waves like I had before. To give me a break from it all as if Jeffrey didn?t want to overload me again, he would send me away to his ranch for a few days, what he knew I considered being a small slice of heaven on earth. I?d spend my days roaming the hills, riding horses, and enjoying the solitude of my own company. One afternoon I was out exploring the land on Jeffrey?s ranch which covered hundred?s of acres with nothing but a bottle of water, my sketchbook and a small case of oil paint. I was on the search for something interesting to paint. A great pastime of mine, it made my soul quiet by creating beauty with my brush. I loved to recreate the images I saw on paper. I would paint anything beautiful that caught me eyes interest, from underwater scenes, animals to people and even fruit, I loved vibrant colors and emotion on display but my favorite soon became the landscape of the Santa e?s rolling hills and green and beige tones and in certain light it would illuminate into a golden shine. To grasp that feeling I was absolved in at the hardest of times became my greatest inner- 90 El Copyright l?rolecled Mnlerial CONFIDENTIAL achievement, like taking a piece of that serenity and putting on paper for me to keep in my heart where it still is today, closing my eyes I am able to see it, being there anytime I need to. I was enjoying the heat and taking in the deserts sights when I stumbled off the track and into the wilderness. Exploring everything new to me was my second nature and never even entered my mind what wouid?ve happened if I went too far or got lost. I would rather face Mother Nature?s wrath than humankind?s any day! After about an hour of drifting off track i came to a. pile of rubble, looking like the remnants of an old pueblo made out of clay and rock. I picked up what looked like halfofa clay bowl and noted that it had Indian designs etched into the side of it. Excited about my findings I decided to do some more exploring around the fields surrounding the historic site. I collected rare pieces of arrowheads, utensils, and parts of many broken bowls with artwork telling tales of their own. Time was of no essence here and before I even realized the sun had sunk deeper into the hills leaving me without any light to find my way back to the pathway. Feeling silly now after passing by a familiar looking boulder twice over, I was startled when I heard some poor animal become dinner for another, it?s screams of agony only amplified louder and echoed in my ear drums, heightening the hairs on the back of my neck and making my heart beat nearly out of my chest. I was lost and confused before but now I was petri?ed with fear. Taking me over three hours to find my way back to the path and in the direction of Jeffrey?s mansion was a. mission, so relieved in the end and so were the housemaids after I hadn?t showed up for dinner, assuming I must?ve been out for one of my usual adventures. I went to bed strenuously exhausted that night and as i was falling asleep the phone rang, it was a call from Jeffrey who had been alerted of my disappearance. ?What happened tonight, one of the maids called me to tell me you hadn?t come back from your walk this evening? Detecting a tone of anger in his voice I tried to distract him by telling him of my ?ndings and he scolded me for being gone for so long without anyone knowing where I was. Going back to the Indian remnants, i persisted on teiling him what I had found. In the end he wasjust worried about me becoming a liability, but had to make it sound as if he cared. ?Don?t worry Jeffrey, I won?t be doing that again. I can honestly say I have learned my lesson and the next time I want to explore I promise to take someone with me?. I satisfied his worry of me being a future nuisance and with that I was ?nally able to tell him what I had discovered on my walk. He was impressed but did not sound surprised. ?You must?ve been gone a long time if you found the old Indian pueblo?s, just be careful you don?t say anything about where you found the stuff on my property, it 91 El Copyright l?rulecled Millerial CONFIDENTIAL could become a sight for historical preservation and that means the government could ultimately own my land.? I acknowledged his request and told them they were just a gift for my Mom, who was in love with lndians ?Wait until she see?s I brought her back real artifacts, she is going to totaliy freak out.? He didn?t mind that I was taking them. in fact he admired my curiosity and adventurous spirit. He reminded me that tomorrow was my last day. I would be driven to the Albuquerque International Airport the day after next, to meet Jeffrey in New York, for how long, only he knew. Giving Jeffrey many thanks for a great week, letting him know how much I appreciated these small breaks away, we then said goodnight. Hanging up the phone I had caught my second wind and set out to the kitchen to find a late-night snack. Raiding the fridge and pantry, I found some frozen pizzas and popcorn. I put on a movie and munched on the popcorn while the pizza cooked. Some 1980?s dreadful alien flick got the better of me that night. It was based on a true story about people abductions from extraterrestrial beings, which were, like I was, visiting a remote area. I suddenly hated being alone on a. ranch in the middle of nowhere. I munched down my burnt, crunchy pizza and became further enveloped in the thick plot. Leaving on the TV and the lights on that night, I spent my night tossing and turning, peeking through the small open crevices of the comforter, half expecting to see an alien being in my bedroom. Living through the night was a relief and I laughed at myselfin the morning, how spooked did I get? When I got to New York, Jeffrey, and Ghislane had a good laugh over my tale of survival in the wilderness and then the alien scare. ?Your always having the best adventures? Ghislane exclaimed. We were similar in that way, both being bit of free spirits it was really only her non-existence of moral standards that differentiated the two of us, in that way. ?How do you know you weren?t abducted and probed? i mean look at you and all that time alone on the ranch, what do you think Jeffrey, could she pass off as an alien?" Expectedly, Ghislane poked fun at me, her usual fun past time. Our relationship was an odd one, never threatened by each other but always precautious towards one another nonetheless able to crack a joke together, but when it came time to ?work? it was no fun and games, she was intensely serious. ?With a sense of humor like yours I would tend to think that you are the one from another planet." Just friendly banter between the two of us, then Jeffrey had to jump in with his two bits, think you might be onto something Ghislane.? I squinted my eyes and gave them both an exaggerated death stare and pretended to grab my stomach in pain, think some things trying to get out of me?, putting my fist in my shirt to reenact a scene from Alien, I fell onto the couch and faked my death. knew it? Ghislane shouted and jumped on me to begin tickling me ail over and we 92 El Copyright l?rolecled Millerial CONFIDENTIAL all broke out into laughter. it was those fun times that made me feel like we were all apart of this really perplexed family. We did everything together similar to normal families like eat dinner, watch TV, and travel it was only the hedonistic and corrupt side to these two deviates that made them a peculiar pair. Getting turned on at the two of as playing together, Jeffrey came over to the couch we were on and pulled down his sweatpants revealing his erect manhood. All of the laughter stopped, now it was time for work. Pushing my head into his pubic region 1 had to give into his perverted wants. Ghislane started to undress me. Once I was bare she loved starting with my breasts. She cupped them in her hands and brushed her ?ngers over my hardened nipples heading downwards pressing her lips deeply into my skin, I had to maneuver my body on the couch in a complex position to give them both what they wanted. And just like that, without even a moment?s notice I could be put on the spot and have to amuse them in any way they wanted. A shameful way to make someone feel like a used toy, I wasn?t around for companionship was there for one thing, 1 was a compliant piece of candy. Twenty minutes later and Jeffrey had erupted in pleasure. Ghislane sat up, still fully dressed, and wiped the sides ofher mouth with her hands, giving a vindictive little chuckle, ?That was fun.? Jeffrey concurred with a sly grin arching his back for a stretch just looking able to utter the request ?Why don?t you come up with me upstairs for a steam bath and massage, I need to be loosened up after that?? It was more of a statement than a request, as if I had the choice to say ?No thanks, I?m actually tired myseif and would iove to just relax? instead I would reply with my accustomed trained obedience, ?No problem, when your ready lead the way.? I had to get dressed again being that we were in Ghislane?s downstairs office. Putting my clothes back on, Ghislane thought she had buttered him up just where she wanted him to ask for him to come have a look at her new townhouse renovations when he was ?nished with his massage. A very strange relationship those two have, there?s a de?nite love ?owing between them but not a passionate one, more like a respectful business, he gets what he wants. . .an uncountable number of girls and she gets what she wants, simple and sweet. . .an uncountable amount of money. The two things in life that can create such beautiful moments or the most horrendously terrible of them all, is sex and money. Chapter 15 93 El Copyright l?ruleeled Mnlerial GIUFFRE004226 i joined him for a shower, steam bath and concluded his needs with a massage while listening to classical music. I knew he didn?t want anything sexual from me now seeing he got what he already wanted downstairs, no this one was purely therapeutic. My favorite massages to give, making me feel like an actual real therapist. I lathered him in aromatic oils and let my hands discover the ways to unlock the stresses that his body held. After the massage was concluded we were going downstairs to get ready to go see Ghislane?s townhouse as he had promised her earlier. He loved taking the hidden staircase while I hated it. I was so creeped out by his choice of de?cor, the blood red carpets, violent medieval paintings, and sculptures of the pagan god Pan, all of it representing the darker side of hedonism his lifestyle provoked. Spiraling down the hallway along with each step you took came with a pair of eyes that followed your every step. Brown, blue, green, hazel, all of the colors were there, staring at you the entire way down. As each step progressed, so would my anxiety to get out of there. We found Ghislane where we had left her, in her of?ce. She had just received an order in, a satellite camera with a twelve-inch ?at screen. She told us how it was used to pick up any person in any location with the quick insert of an address. Quite a powerful new toy I thought, but it was only a minute dispiay of what the rich could afford, what use they woutd get out of it was another concern. Soon after she was done figuring out the controls on the camera, we made a rare and ?rst for me pit stop, the security room. What thought was our way out by the front door was another hidden door. 1 was in shock as was led into a room, so discreet that in three years I never even knew it existed. I kept my head down most of the time, knowing how secretive this must be being another door was an entire security base within his mansion. What I could see when stole a glimpse here and there was an array of tiny screens, twenty odd or something. Small screens showing various rooms of the mansion had recognized. The images were constantly changing so I found it hard to pinpoint an exact location but from the decor and short glimpses I suddenly knew from then on that my feelings of my every move being watched inside his corridors was now more than a possibility but was actually happening. Jeffrey spoke to an obese Spanish guy at the desk, whose job was to disgustingly overlook all of the video feedback. Kill two birds with one stone Jeffrey thought, free porn to share with all of his pedophile friends and when the occasion called for it, a security system all at one expense. Ever consumed with making money as well as saving it, I was again astonished at Jeffrey?s capabilities. I didn?t want to even think how deep the video in?ltrated, pretending like I never saw anything at all I put the memory to the back ofmy mind and went on about my day. Stopping at Ghislane?s new townhouse, another gift bought and paid 94- El Copyright l?rolecled Mnlerial CONFIDENTIAL for by Jeffrey, he pointed out needed changes all over the place, driving the builders mad, as always. He wanted the place to scream out with a bold statement. Checkered floors and bold colors was the theme, like the queen of hearts from Alice in Wonderland, very well suited I thought. The dust from the walls being torn down chocked my throat and the elevator was not in use, the stairs were hardly either. The whole house was in bad shape then having to go up three ?ights of rickety steps was a bit of a risk too but worth it once you made it to her future walk in wardrobe or to us commoners, a closet the size of a small a house. Complete with a dressing room, luxurious bathroom and plenty of storage for her every ensemble. Even without it being finished it was already a work of art, a sanctuary for any woman. She adorned herselfin her future home, ?nally her own, relishing every inch of it, she already put in a work desk and spoke constantly of its ongoing renovations. About an hour later we were off to pick out curtains and look at some paint samples at a couple different boutique looking shops. Easily passing off as an ordinary couple for the day, they walked arm in arm strolling the streets of the Upper East Side. Except to me, still replaying the early afternoon?s events, shaking my head over the echoed images in my mind, I followed behindjust waiting to be needed again. Over the course of the next few months was a constant influx of exorbitant excursions at Jeffrey?s mansions, mainly to his island, to keep up with his ever-demanding sexual appetite with various young women and teenage girls. 1 got back on the Xanax, an old habit that I felt at the time would stop my memories from flowing back, rehabilitate my problems and relax me enough to deal with any situation at hand, no matter what the circumstance revealed itself to be. It was a drug that would blind my eyes to everything I should?ve been running from. Having Brunel always in the picture these days wasn?t helping me at all either. Sending his girls for Jeffrey at all of his places now and at a vigorous flow, they had an abundance of girls at their disposal. were to count one girl for everyday of the week, it would be the underestimated statement of the century. So many girls between the two of them, some nights it would be a free for all frenzy for Jeffrey and Brunel, seven or so girls giving them their upmost attention, doting on their every moan and whimper, Jeffrey being the main concern since Brunel worked for him and we were all aware of that too. If there were heaven on earth for men like Jeffrey, than he would be their God. Every one of his inner most desires was ful?lled when his harem of women was around. No wonder he didn?t travel much abroad these days, all he ever wanted was right at his doorstep. i couldn?t believe that he was still asking me to bring girls to him as well. There was never enough girls to 95 El Copyright l?rulecled Millerial CONFIDENTIAI . GIUFFREOO-JZZS fill his appetite, so on occasion I would meet a. pretty girl around my age and invite her back to his place to make some quick money by offering her a really good contact in the modeling and acting business. Keeping him satis?ed and in need ofme was a tiringjob. With so much competition I had to be on the ball, seeming ambitious to grant him all of his desires. It was a lot of pressure and a spotlight of a role to undertake at such a young age but I told myself this is what my life?s training had led me up to be. My Birthday was around the corner and turning eighteen had lost all of its sparkle and pizzazz. There were no more surprises in store for me, nothing that would bedazzle me I hadn?t done already. I spent my birthday on the island, having a quiet dinner and watching ?Sex and the City? on the couch with Jeffrey, Ghislane and Emmy. There was no cake or a celebration of any sort but I did get a couple of presents that 1 opened outside underneath the main cabana. Jeffrey gave me a beautiful pair of sapphire and diamond encrusted earrings and Ghislane bought me another designer makeup case. I thanked the two of them with a tight squeeze and a gratuitous short spiel. As it went quiet, looked out to the ocean and wondered if across these waters was there ever going to be happier days spent with someone special to me. Would he be kind, compassionate, and always be there when i needed him most? Or would I end up settling for my final bit of training, a marriage to a greedy old scrooge? Either way what I wanted most didn?t matter right now, was still bound by Jeffrey?s hold over me and all I had to keep telling myself to get through this epic journey was, this is just the way it was for now. Around the table for breakfast Jeffrey announced that he was expecting a few guests coming over with Brunel, no one of importance, just his usual entourage of beautiful girls. Russian models this time and Jeffrey was also having a photographer flown in to take modeling photos using the island as the perfect background for a sexy shoot. All of us girls were ushered onto rocks, hammocks, dug into sand and displayed just about anywhere they wanted. We were being photographed in next to nothing, like a netted fabric placed over us if the shot called for it, but the more provocative the more Jeffrey and Brunel loved it. After the photo shoot we did some outdoor watersports. While us girls raced the jet skis around and jumped on the water trampoline, the men stayed on dry land to watch us from the beach. I was so used to this constant charade of girls and I didn?t mind having a bit of fun but this was different, I had to be more than just polite because 1 already knew it wouldn?t be long before we were all intimate with each other as well. Being the only girl that spoke English out of all of them was also a huge blunder. The only way we could communicate was through hand gestures 96 El Copyright l?rulecled Millerial CONFIDENTJAJ . and body language, a very primitive form of speaking, but what choice did we have? I did my best to get acquainted and as I had previously assumed after lunch on the beach we were again ushered into another part of the island, Jeffrey?s cabana. There was no need for words here, as the girls already knew exactly what to do. Without saying anything they undressed me and began to ravage my body with their hands, tongues, lips and ?ngers. I was delirious, never having done anything like this before with so many girls. It was sheer chaos; I don?t honestly know how men could fantasize over this. Through the glimpses in between bodies crossing over me I could see Jeffrey and Brunel watching us, sitting in a chair with their hands around their penises, stroking themselves together ?The best part is they don?t even speak English so there?s never a need to have to keep them amused? I could hear one of the men divulge and pretty sure it came from Jeffrey laughing out loud to Brunel. Ijust closed my eyes and went somewhere else in my mind until it was all over. That was that, life went on and we all moved on to eat dinner together. It couldn?t be more awkward as Jeffrey and Brunel were beside themselves with their ego?s beaming, and the girls chatted like busy little chipmunks with each other. Ghislane and Emmy on the other end of the table were being amused at the entire racquet around the table and then there was me. Sitting quietly and smiling in people?s direction when needed, I was counting down the minutes until I could go lay down in my giant comfortable bed, slipping away to the gentle noises the island created and sink comfortably into a deep sleep with the assistance of my Xanax. Scratching at the plate in front of me with my fork out of boredom, I wasn?t even hungry. I had lost my appetite for food. Rather sipping on the champagne I wanted to feel as far away from here as possible. What seemed like hours for everyone to finish their meals we were finally all saying goodnight and goodbye to each other, as Brunel was offearly in the morning and taking the eight beauties with him. ?Thank God" told myself, once was more than I could handle of that in one day. It didn?t take me long to get back into my own comfort zone. Heading straight back to my cabana after dessert was served nearly tripping over my own two feet as I tried to scuttle off in a hurry. As soon as I entered my domain, I drew a breath and sighed a deep exhale outwards, ?nally alone and at for now at least. Although the sun had set hours ago the high temperatures of the Caribbean were still an affliction, plaguing my cabana I was welcomed by a rush of warm air as I opened the door. I hit the switch to the fan and stripped down for a shower. Preparing my towel and toiletries I opened the back door to the outside shower and placed them on the floor. Whether was cleaning up in the midst of a hot 97 El Copyright l?rulecled Mnlerial CONFIDENTIAI . day or retiring for the evening, an outside shower was always splendid. Under a thick dark cloak of the night sky only the moon and stars to shed enough light for me to see my way around. I could feel the soft breeze lick the droplets falling off of my bodies? curves in the re?ection of the moonlight. It only encouraged me to stay longer under the warmth from the spray of rushing water. I let the hot water run out before 1 was sufficed enough to go back inside. Lounging around the bed in my panties and a tank top was still sweltering from the heat. Trying to tire myself out, I did some reading and eventually fell asleep. I needed those times to unwind after such an ordeal, letting the Xanax wash away all of the pain I could then forgive the mistakes I had made, blaming myselffor staying around for this I had wished I was never born at all. The pills would take all of that away for me. My heart was a tangled weave of deception and pain, only reassured by the lies that were told to me and the lies I would have to convince myselfof. Chapter 16 When we flew back into Palm Beach, Juan drove me back to my apartment. Lonely for some companionship I decided to call an old friend. I was longing to be important to someone and unfortunately with such little time to have a social life of my own I was compelled to call T.J again. His Mom answered the phone and sounded quite surprised to hear my voice on the other end. She was always kind to me, I even used to bring her back ?Cola? cans from other countries a bizarre hobby she loved collecting. She just didn?t know what I saw in her son, even saying that to his face many times over. Not blind to his ways of cheating and stealing, being a personal victim of it, she made it apparent that she did not approve ofT.J?s choice in lifestyle. It used to really hurt him how his parents thought so badly ofhim, so he gave up trying to earn their love a long time ago. As long as he didn?t steal from them anymore he was allowed to live there. lnstead of that being a lesson to him, he would just try to be more clever in what he would steal, less obvious things. He would steal the toaster and sell it for ?ve dollars if he knew it would help to get him his next high. Nonetheless and at my expense I had a sweet spot for him. With enough water under the bridge, I was able to forget about the troubles he caused. I?Iis Mom told me she?d pass on the message when he got home, but that could be days from now. The last time he had been home was over a couple of weeks now. He only stopped by to get something to eat, have a long sleep and to beg her for a few bucks, supposedly to help him buy food. Then he was off again without a single word said, only leaving 98 El Copyright l?rolecled Mnlerial CONFIDENTIAL his parents to their own assumptions, which were pretty much correct anyways. I then called around a couple of mutual friends to see if anyone had heard from him. Everyone spoke to pointed their ?ngers in the same direction and the worst place possible, Ritchie?s house. One of his best friends told me of how bad he was doing, ?He?s not the same guy anymore, and all he cares about is the next high he gets. If we don?t get anything for him he just loses it and goes off somewhere.? It was hard to hear how badly affected my best friend was and a part of me secretly hoped they weren?t right. Still defending him, I told everyone I had spoke too while trying to find him that T..I would be fine, he?sjust probably going through a bad phase, like we all do sometimes and needs people to have his back more than ever now. I was pretty much laughed at on the spot, most people that I considered my friends at the time were only friends by association. As long as we all looked the part, acted the part, and could handle the part, only then did they want to be around us. The last person I called was the last person I had hoped he wasn?t with and it turned out that everyone was right. He was with one of the biggest Coke dealers in our area, Ritchie?Rich, as everyone used to call him. He didn?t look like a typical strung out junkie or dealer. Instead he looked like your average preppy college grad with aspiring propositions. He dressed well and acted like a nice guy to imminent clients only to get them hooked on his drugs and then turns them out onto the streets. He was a businessman and his business was thriving. He carried everything from most drugs to guns and knives. Having ears in all places made him a dangerous acquaintance. Using kids off the local Palm Beach streets to run his dirty errands and the errands of the others above him, he made his money by using these teenagers, who as hard as it was to believe was once somebodies sweet child. I knew TJ didn?t have the finances to support himself or his drug habit so the likelihood of him being indebted to Ritchie in other ways was a safe assumption. Obtaining Ritchie?s number from one of friends Marcus he asked me, ?What do you want to call Ritchie for? Come over to my place and I can get you whatever you want? Marcus was a sleaze bag who would tirelessly continue to try to appeal to my lesser sense of judgment, never getting the hint orjust not caring that I could never and would never be interested in him. ?No Thanks Marcus, can I just get the number please, it?s very important that I get ahold of TJ, I?m really worried about him.? I hated having to call this guy let alone have to ask him for something. ?Is this about the Adam bullshit? Cause if it is you can let him know what a fucking bitch he is for not showing up to be there for him, you can tell him from me that it?s his fault and it should?ve been him that?s lying in the morgue now, not Adam? I was totally thrown 99 El Copyright l?rulccled Mulerial CONFIDENTIAI . by his allegations I could only mutter out a whisper ?Did you just say that Adam is dead, what happened?? ?Oh snaps, I thought you knew, where have you been girl, under a rock or something?? Marcus was less than sensitive about his statements. ?He got shot in the head by two black guys who got suspicious when their usual supplier didn?t show up, your boy TJ was so fucked up he didn?t even remember to tum up at Ritchie?s for the delivery, so Ritchie sent Adam alone and now he?s dead.? Adam was a sweet kid who just happened to be born living on the wrong block. Best friends with TJ since childhood, the two were inseparable until puberty hit and even then they would chase girls together. Adam followed in every footstep, mimicking his shadow, ifT.J jumped off the Eifel Tower then so would Adam so when T.J got hooked on drugs consequently Adam did too, leading ultimately to his death. Wanting to end the conversation with Marcus quickly I scribbled down the phone number on a blank piece of paper in front of me and hung up the phone to call Ritchie?s place immediately. ?Yeah?? It was Ritchie whom bluntly answered the phone after the ?rst ring. ?Hi ?Uh- Rich, It?s Jenna, ex, we met a couple of times at a few parties? was trying to remind him of who I was knowing how paranoid he was about people having his number. ?Oh yeah, I know who you are, what is it you want?? He answered with a dry tone. I was hoping you could tell me where I could ?nd T.J, I?ve heard some stuff and am really worried about him, is he alright?? Ritchie snickered at my concerns. ?What are you his Morn or something? He?s ?ne, he should be back here around five o?clock, I?ll tell him you called.? In the middle of me saying ?Thanks and good-bye? he hung up the phone, as there is no room for manners in his line of work. i waited until five o?clock watching the minutes on the clock tick past and when five o?clock came and passed by with still no phone call, I couldn?t deny to myself that I wasn?t stricken with distress. Falling asleep wasn?t easy either. I ended up crashing out on my sofa watching T.V, half expecting to hear of another murder on the news and it being T.J. Forgetting to put on my mask before I went to bed, I was woken up the next morning by rays of the sun beaming into my living room. When I sleep I am a creature of darkness, avoiding any window light at all costs. Staggering to the coffee pot not used to getting up this early, my first thought that day was TJ and why he hadn?t called. A million thoughts rushed through my head like a steam he 0k? Is he not calling because he is still mad from our last breakup? Has he moved on to someone else? Is he in any trouble? Did Ritchie even pass on my message? The thoughts were an endless in?iction, consuming my entire day. 100 El Copyright l?rulecled Mulerial CONFIDENTIAL Until ?nally he called my cell phone later in the afternoon, relief swept over me when I heard his voice on the other end. ?Thank God you called, I have been so worried about you, are you alright?" I jumped in without letting him get past saying ?Hello?. ?Yeah, I?m fine. Ritchie told me you cailed his house looking for me yesterday and gave me shit for it saying you were upset or something, what?s up?? I knew I would have to be delicate about asking what happened to Adam, thinking he?d be a mess over it. heard from Marcus that something happened to Adam and I got worried about you, what is going on?? TJ sounded scared, for what reasons were beyond my knowledge but I was going to find out, he replied I don?t want to talk about it over the phone. Are you in town so we can meet up or something?? It was obvious I wanted him to know that was more than willing to lend my shoulder for his problems. ?E?m home now if you want to come over whenever you feel like it.? He didn?t hesitate in taking me up on the offer. But i won?t be able to get there until later, I?m downtown at Ritchie?s place unless you want to come pick me up.? It was more ofa request than a favor to myselfwhich is what he was making it out to sound like, knowing him all to well I didn?t make a fuss of his ill-contemplated attributes. I got the address off him and made my way into the ugliness of the not so dazzling parts of the Palm Beaches downtown area. Rolling Lip my windows and locking the doors to my truck I nervously drove through the rough streets trying to find Ritchie?s apartment complex. Knowing all too well the history of the area, it?s not a place a lone white girl in a nice truck wants to be seen, many reports of the locals rushing up to a vehicles with a weapon demanding money, cars, orjust angry and out to hurt someone. I was speeding through the streets wanting to get out of there as quick as I could. A sad world we live in with so much hurt everywhere you look and nobody wanting to do anything about it, just accepting the hopelessness of never being able to achieve anything more than what our civilization has succumbed to. Being among one ofthose people, we were similar in so many ways. Only separated by our own personal fears and the different direction they pulled us into. I drove straight through the open gates at the entrance to the compiex and parked on the gutter in front of Ritchie?s block of units. A crowd of peopie stood outside the blocks I was entering. Being hit on and offered drugs simultaneously my cheeks went flush and I put my head down not saying a word. Walking up the corridors of the staircase looked like a scene out of a horror ?ick. Graf?ti covered the peeling of green paint on the walls and the pungent stench of something rotting, only to the worst of my imagination, filled my nostrils. I could hear babies screaming 101 El Copyright l?rulecled Molerial CONFIDENTIAI . through the thin walls and trying to find the unit number was difficult from the sporadic ?ickering of the fluorescent lights above me. At last I found Ritchie?s one, quite astonished with myseif that I even made it this far. I had to knock loudly on the door a few times before a young girl answered the door with eyeliner bleeding down from her eyes, her jet black hair was strung out and a mess and she looked off her face on some hard drug. She had only her bra and a short skirt on to cover her private areas and a cigarette hung out of her mouth to complete the full picture of terrible state she was in. She looked me down with contempt and snubbed at me ?What do you want?? I maintained my politeness and told her TJ was expecting me. She opened the door and walked away, leaving me by myself to venture through looking for T.J. Passing through the kitchen it looked like a hospital lab with syringes on the counter tops and medicine containers lying around everywhere. Minding my steps through the dirty house, I walked to the back to the Iiving room and found T.J in a K-Hole strung out on a filthy couch. ?Hey. . .there? he acknowledged me with a giant smile spread across his face. He probably didn?t even know who I was from the dreadful state he was in. My first look at him in months and I was in utter shock. My jaw must have dropped to the floor at the very sight of him. Never seeing him so skinny and unhealthy looking I took pity and wanted to help him before things got even worse and he ended up like Adam, dead. hey buddy its Jenna, rememberI was coming to pick you up today. You don?t look so good, what are you doing so messed up?? I don?t think he could even understand what I was even saying because he could only reply by giggling and rolling over, patting the couch as if it were a ?uffy animal. I stood over him now and raised my voice so he?d know I was serious and snap out ofit a bit. ?Get Up TJ, Now!? I ushered at him to get off the couch, repeating myself a few times over and with no response I knew I had to get physical. Rolling him back over to face me again I smacked his face hard and I?m sure it stung but I got the reaction I had wanted. He sat up and looked at me confused. At least now he was able to focus on my words requesting him to come with me. He was getting up from the couch and stumbling around before falling down to the floor again. Putting his arm around my neck and carrying the majority of his weight, I helped him up many times over and down three ?ights of stairs into my truck and drove him back to my place. It was a triumph on it?s own arriving downstairs in one piece. Being the only person who really cared if TJ lived or died I felt like the responsibility of helping him was my concern atone. Thankfully Jeffrey was in Palm Beach for the next couple weeks entertaining royalty, which gave me a iittle time to try and ciean T..I up. I called a few of his friends that I knew and asked them not to score any 102 El Copyright I?rulecled Molerial CONFIDENTIAL drugs for him any more, pleading with them and telling all of them he was on the brink of death, reminding them of the friendship between us all that once existed before the drugs corrupted so many of us. Some of them laughed at me telling me I was wasting my time with T.J and others were nice enough to at least lie to my face politely and promise not to help him feed his addiction. ljust wanted to remedy all of his pain and problems but I felt so helpless ?ghting his battle against the streets. I bought some marijuana for him to smoke hoping to subside the withdrawals he was facing over the next few days but with no avail. The only thing that would help him was my Xanax, a few of those pills and he would go back to sleep, only waking up to get more ofthem. I would have to force him out of bed to have a shower once a day and make sure he ate something. He was more like a baby right now than he was a boyfriend, too much in need of something I couldn?t give. Chapter 17 When I went to see Jeffrey over the next course of days he picked out the dilemma I wore spread across my face straight away. ?Your back with TJ aren?t you? It was so funny that he knew me so well. ?Yeah, he?s in a real bad place in his life right now and needs my help.? He looked astonished and replied, ?You?re a much better friend than I am, I know people like him and trust me they never change, no use in even trying? I believed him too knowing I was stupid for even attempting to change but my heart felt differently, he was still a human being and a good friend of mine just down at his worst. ?That?s what good friends are for? I laughed back at his remark, not wanting to take this conversation too much further. I admire your loyalty at least, but take my word for it, he will hurt you again.? His words were chilling but true, I had to find out for myself though. Almost seeming like an actual friend for a second he ruined his brief momentary image by turning over from the un?nished massage that was giving to him and acquired his sexual longings from my worn down soul. Not only did he know that didn?t want to endure any more demands tonight, but his energy enhanced from knowing it too. Looking up at him during the foreplay, it was an easy observation from the look in my eyes 103 El Copyright l?rulecled Mnlerial CONFIDENTIAL that I hated every minute of it, seething through all of my duties until he climaxed. Most days I could take this kind of treatment, it was only seldom I couldn?t hold in the way Jeffrey disregarded my feelings. He had me just where he wanted me, like a pawn piece on a checkers board I was his own personal sex slave. For the remainder of the evening I stayed quiet, not sure of what to say after an episode like that. It was a vigorous display of how calumniating he could really be. He required me to clean up his spilled semen off of his genitals with a wet warm washcloth before he retired to his bedroom for a good night?s sleep. Only a monstrous creep could sleep easy at night knowing what pain he caused others. I went downstairs and asked Juan, who was still in the kitchen to pay me for the evening telling him that Jeffrey had gone to sleep for the night. It wasn?t an unusual request. Juan would often have to fix up ?the girls? after the sessions and sometimes even drive them home. He went to Jeffrey?s desk and underneath was his duffel bag that always held insurmountable bundles of crisp hundred dollar bills. He took out two for me and handed them over. I thanked him and said goodnight, as I was always polite to Juan and his wife, Maria. His eyes were gentle and told me more than what he was allowed to say. I understood well. We all needed to eat and pay bills unfortunately even sometimes at our own moral expense. Putting the keys into the ignition I started up the engine and reversed out of effrey?s driveway with promptness. I didn?t want to be there a moment longer than I had to. Not much to look forward too ge ting back to my apartment either, I needed some time to filter my emotions. Parking my truck in front of a nearby beach I took my shoes off gradually stepping out of the door into the fog. I walked down to the edge of the sand where the water licked at my toes. My life was slipping away from me and was really beginning to question the difference between living and dying. I was so tired of everything, my whole existence revolved around being everything to everyone, forgetting about being something for myself altogether. Pretending to be someone else became an attribute I was better than good at, probably much of why Jeffrey liked me in the first place. This time I held back my tears back and only let the anger fester into a deep pit in my stomach. My rage was aimed at the very people who abandoned me to fend for myself in the first place and accepted this life as normal for me, my parents. When i got back to my apartment I was expecting to have to look after TJ, but to my surprise he had come around good that night. He greeted me at the door and asked how my evening was. ?It was all fine? 1 easily lied. I never let anyone inside close enough to see my vulnerabilities. They were mine alone to battle. In my head they were too shameful to 104 El Copyright l?rulecled Mnlerial CONFIDENTIAL taik about anyways. He wanted to talk about something else anyways. Sitting me down at the dining room table he began his spiel. I know you don?t think much ofme anymore, how couId you? I?m ajunkie who steals and sells drugs for a living, but I promise that?s all going to change now. Adam is dead because of me and the only way I can make it up to him is to get away from it all. I promise things are going to get better.? It was a convincing talk, but I knew him all too well. His demon inside yearned for him to fail but who was I to second-guess him out loud, I could only try to give him hope. ?No one is perfect TJ. At least you?re trying now and that?s all that matters to me. I am so proud ofyou.? I gave him a sincere hug and kissed him for the first time in a Iong time. love you,? he said to me and I returned my love back. We slept in the same bed together that night and were of?cially back on together. Two days later I was gone again, beckoned to be in Santa Fe. Ghislane only told me that I was to meet someone there, not sure of whom that was. It wasn?t my place to ask questions. As far as I knew it could be anyone and I had no choice but to be compliant to their needs. It was the middle of the day when I arrived at the airport. One of the ranch hands came to pick me up in a big work truck that smelled like dirt and sweat but I didn?t mind that?s what I loved about the When we arrived at the mansion my guest was already there waiting for me. I couldn?t wipe the look off my face as he turned around from the bookshelf that he was standing at. ?Hello? that same old cheesy grin greeted me once again. It was his highness Prince Andrew, and what a sight. He wrapped his arms around my waist and greeted me like an old friend. hugged him back rolling my eyes at the same time, already dreading what lay in store over the next couple of days. My job was to entertain him endiessly, whether that meant having to bestow him my body during an erotic massage or simply take him horseback riding. For the next couple of days he was to be my only concern, but he wasn?t. I cailed in checking on T.J a few times a day, not wanting to be a nag but just hoping he hadn?t had any thoughts about relapsing. He was doing great, even applying for a couple jobs. Being reassured by him made my time away iess complicated and thankfully with the help of my ever- ready Xanax I was able to cope with the ordeal. The mansion was completely empty save a couple of maids who also cooked our dinners for us, and a couple bodyguards that we hardly even saw at all. The time dragged by slowly for me as was counting down the hours until I flew away again, anywhere but here I thought. It wasn?t easy meeting the sexual desires of these strange men, the Prince being one of them. He loved my feet and even licked in between my toes. Then there was the lack of passion in the intimacy we shared, to him I wasjust another girl and to me he wasjust anotherjob. Not the right reasons to be 105 El Copyright l?rulecled Millerial CONFIDENTIAI . together but I thought in this world and to these monsters, there didn?t need to be a reason. To them it?s nothing but a reenactment of their personal fantasies. To me it was a living nightmare. Thankfully one of Jeffrey?s assistants from New York called me on my ceil phone early in the morning on the second day to ?ll me in on my next adventure. I had a ?ight booked for me to leave that afternoon to arrive at La Guardia airport in the evening. Even though I had to go back to yet another controlling man, I was stiil relieved. At least I was used to the con?nements of Jeffrey?s control and in some twisted way he was more comforting than these strangers he sent me to. Overlooking the city of New York as the plane landed felt like I was ?ying from one cage to another. Entrapped by falling victim to the predators that lured me into their enclosure. I didn?t know how I would ever get out again. That deep pit in my stomach began to churn again, a. physical reaction to the anxiety I was plagued with. Before getting off the plane I touched up my make- up to hide any signs of the frailty I was feeling. o-Jo met me at the arrival terminal and picked up my luggage for me. He never said much at all, nodding to any reciprocating conversation. I don?t think he could really speak that good of English anyways. It was better for me as I preferred the quietness for the moment. He opened the back door for me and we headed off for my next prison cell. When we got to Jeffrey?s mansion on 72?, the place looked empty. I walked up the staircase to Jeffrey?s office and he wasn?t there. Feeling a bit hungry I walked back down to where the kitchen was. I opened the fridge and found some leftovers that Adam, Jeffrey?s chef, had cooked. I loved his cooking, when it wasn?t ?lled with beansprouts and tofu. He used to make me the best pizza upon request, or whenever he was cooking seafood, which he knew hated. He had an honest appeal about him and never even took notice when on many occasions us girls would be prancing around topless, sometimes even stark naked around the pool or beach. He would have to serve us our meais and would do it with such a casual professionalism, never making anyone uneasy at any occasion. Half way through my meal the kitchen doors swung open and incoming was Jeffrey and Ghislane. Choking down my bite of food down, I got up from my seat and kissed them both on the cheeks. Hi guys, how are you?? I greeted them and Ghislane answered for them both ?Good, good. Sit down and ?nish your meal, don?t let us interrupt you.? I hated eating alone in front of people, chewing food and maintaining a conversation at the same time didn?t give off the best look. was just ?nishing anyways, can I get you guys anything, maybe a tea or something?? Always playing my part, another reason to keep me around I guess, I went beyond the call of duty and after the last period with them, I had been reminded of my place. ?Yes, I?ll take a one? Ghislane stated. ?Jeffrey how about you, 106 El Copyright l?rulecled Millerial CONFIDENTIAL anything I can get for you?? I asked again and he answered, ?No thanks, we just ate and I?m still fail? and they sat down together on the stools at the kitchen bench. I got out the shiny red kettle from the cupboard, knowing my way all too well around the kitchen and put it over the hot stove plate. Turning around to face them, I thought they were acting peculiar. ?So. . .?Ghislane started the conversation, ?How was the ranch with the Prince?? It was a natural reaction for me to blush, knowing exactly what she was referring too. Keeping busy preparing her cup of tea and avoiding contact with both of them I started to unpack the counter where I had been eating, think he had a really good time, he seemed relaxed during the trip and when we said good-bye to each other he gave me a kiss.? I went on to tell them what we did together took him horseback riding, nowhere to far just around the property, um. .. we went swimming in the pool, and of course I gave him plenty of massages. He had a massage at ieast couple times each day really seeming to enjoy his time there.? It?s what they wanted to hear, not the truth of how disgusting I had feit over the whole thing but they already knew the truth anyways, it?s what they had trained me for in the first place. Like two proud parents they both looked over me with such content. ?Good, you did really well? Jeffrey complimented me. Turning around to the kettle, I ?nished Ghislane?s tea for her and the conversation led on to other subjects. We ali ventured up to Jeffrey?s office and out came the infamous duf?e bag that went wherever he did. I was given close to a thousand dollars for my time in Santa Fe, more than what I thought anybody at my young age could make for a couple days of work. It was fulfiiling the obscene vulgar needs of the so-called privileged that earned me so much. Chapter 18 I spent the next few days in New York, venturing out to do some shopping therapy. I loved the eccentric parts of the city. Every street was different but the same energetic vibe filled all of them, animated with all different walks of life. Hanging out at coffee shops reading the newspaper or a good book was a favorite pastime while in the big apple. Being close enough to get back to Jeffrey for when he needed me but also far enough to get away from all of it. Most of the day slipped by without being missed and I made my way back to Jeffrey?s. Making one last pit stop, I walked into an old bookshop to browse at their assortment of old titles. I wasn?t in any hurry so I took my time 107 El Copyright I?rulecled Mnlerial CONFIDENTIAL reading the backs ofinteresting looking books. I bumped into a girl looking down the same aisle I was down. ?Sorry, I?m so clumsy? she was apologizing for my mistake. ?No, no, it was my fault, I wasn?t looking at where I was going. I get so wrapped up with my nose in a book and trip over my own two feet ifI?ni not careful enough.? We were both giggling now and I further introduced myself to her. i?Ier name was Valerie or Vickie or something like that, anyways she was a student at a school for hairdressing nearby. Chatting away both young and similar interests in each other?s choice of reading we found it easy to speak with one another. She wasn?t from around here only being in the city for the last two months, her parents hated her being here, but were also supportive in her big decision to move from the in hopes of her accomplishing her own dreams. Aside from not having her near them, they just wanted her to be happy and supported in her big decision to move to the city, helping her pay some of the way. She was a pretty girl with cherry red hair and soft white skin. Her long Iegs were emphasized by the short flowery dress that complimented her hourglass ?gure. She would definitely ?t the pro quo for going down in one of Jeffrey?s little black books. Only imagining the look on his face upon meeting her I could already see his st grin spread from ear to ear. Knowing exactly what he would do with her and the very thought of him tarnishing a sweet country girl such as her just couldn?t be done. It was the beginning of a turning point in my life that started with realizing I had a choice at hand and the effect I could have on one person alone. must be off, but it was really nice to meet you.? Bidding her goodnight and paying for my books I turned around with one last glance over my shoulder and said. ?Good luck in the city!? Leaving that bookshop was a small step in a growing abundance of larger strides to come. Turning the corner onto 721111 street I had an undeniable feeling in the pit of my stomach again but this time it wasn?t the familiar hurl of anxiety I was used too after I had done something I had wrong that I had regretted, it was a new feeling ofpride and inner strength. I quite liked it a lot, I held my head high and smiled on the inside when Jeffrey asked me how my day was and what I got up to, not mentioning I had let one girl slip on bye. The icy winter winds faded away making way for the approaching sunny days that blossomed the colorful shades of spring. This was my favorite time of the year. Making the most use of his island we spent countless days of the increasingly hot days there. A constant array of visiting guests and plentiful young women to flock around keeping them entertained was the typical lazy afternoon on Little St. eff?s. We ate, drank, and played under the blue blanket ofcloudless skies. To many this Iifestyle could seem idyllic, unIess you were like me, the one on the other 108 El Copyright I?rolecled Mnlerial CONFIDENTIAL side of the fence where the grass wasn?t so green. ortunateiy for me and in some ways not, I was mostly expected to attend to only Jeffrey?s insurmountable of sexual desires. Whereas the other giris who came one day and went the next were promised a multitude of open doors just for there meager participation in sexual acts with random men, only to be disappointed when they realized they were nothing more than a single night out for these geriatric senior citizens who most likely due Aizheimer?s would sooner forget the entire experience let alone their ?rst name. Surrounded by those in our worid who many looked up too but not seeing them from where I was standing, I didn?t have the highest of standards in humanity. Then I met Al Gore and his lovely wife during one of those many weekends away in the Caribbean. I was blown away by the amount of attention Al doted on his wife, it was so sweet to watch. They sat next to each other at the dinner table gazing into one another?s eyes having an intimate conversation between them. Among the many guests visiting that night and many of them young beautiful women, not once did Ai?s eye?s stray elsewhere, to them they were the only ones there. He was up for a presidential election that year and he de?nitely had my vote. Anyone that could Show that much devotion and passion towards his loved ones couid have the same devotion towards running a country, or at least I thought so. He only left his wife?s side to have a walk down to the beach with the host of the weekend, Jeffrey. The weather was still warm in the evening when I decided to break away from the idle chat around the table and take a stroll too. Not wanting to interrupt the conversation between Jeffrey and I walked in the opposite direction plucking the washed up sea shells imbedded in the sand along the way. I enjoyed the serenity in the solitude of the island. So many nooks and crannies to get lost in, I could imagine that I actually disappeared from the entire world for a moment. By the time I came back to the main house majority of the smali crowd had been long gone retired to their cabanas. Even Jeffrey had gone off to bed but trust party animal Ghislane to still be up entertaining the remaining guests left at the table, regaling her wild stories of people and places she has embarked on. Trying not to make contact as I walked past them on my way back to my cabana carrying my seashells inside my curled up blouse, I wasn?t up for anymore pointless talking tonight. Emptying out my seashells into a plastic bag, 1 went over my new treasures one by one. I loved collecting odd things, shells being one of my favorites. Ghislane and I shared that interest together. We would enjoy walk abouts around the island searching for lost pieces of the remnants that pirate?s had left behind centuries ago. It was mostly broken plates or smashed glass from bottles of ale, and even occasionally getting lucky 109 El Copyright l?rolecled Millerial CONFIDENTIAL enough to find some old coins here and there. It wasn?t easy though, both ioving a challenge it was perfect for us. Enduring many scratches from the bushes we would be searching through and then the soar arms from digging ail day, but it was worth it in the end. After nearly two years of collecting items and saving them, we made Jeffrey a mosaic table out of the remaining pieces left from the era of the pirate?s day. Upon completing it we were both astounded in our creation, it was such an item of rarity and an interesting piece of work. When we presented it to Jeffrey he was even impressed not only in our amazing finds but what we did with them. The table became an important work of art that Jeffrey showed off inside the main house?s lounge room, sparking a much intrigue and table conversation by many of the visiting guests to his island. The next morning was good-bye for most of the visitors, leaving just the usual behind. Soaking in the sun and living it up in the lap ofluxury is how the next few weeks were spent before having to get back to the dredge of the city. Sometimes we?d have to go to St. Johns island for Jeffrey to do some work in the office. It was so boring for me to sit in their listening to him on the phone or coming down on some poor employee for something stupid like not answering the phone correctly. If I knew he was going to be awhile I would excuse myself for a bit of shopping. Not that the Caribbean had much to offer in the world of fashion but there was never an amount of bikinis one girl could own and I ioved all the little knick knacks one could ?nd there. Flying back on a private jet was the best part because I couid transport just about anything I wanted back to my apartment, which was already filled with an assortment from my shopping ventures and coilection of seashells from the Caribbean. The next big dinner party on the island had another signi?cant guest appearance being, the one and only, Bill Clinton. He is the only president in the world to be dismissed from his role as a world leader because he was caught with his trousers around his ankles and had the stain to prove it. Publicly humiliating his wife and himself he retired from his title but not from his iifestyle. This wasn?t a big party as such, only a few of us eating at the diner table. There was Jeffrey at the head ofit all, as always. On the left side was Emmy, Ghislane and I. Sitting across the table from us was Bill with two ioveiy girls who were visiting from New York. Bill?s wife, Hillary?s absence from the night made it easy for his apparent provocative cheeky side to come out. Teasing the girls on either side of him with playful pokes and brassy comments, there was no modesty between any of them. We all finished our meals and scattered in our own different directions. 110 El Copyright l?rolecled Millerial CONFIDENTIAL Jeffrey wanted his evening massage before bed and Ghislane and Emmy went to their of?ce to talk about something, leaving our guest of honor to find company elsewhere. Strolling into the darkness with two beautiful girls around either arm, Bill seemed content to retire for the evening. He wanted to have a hot bath before bed while I began the massage in the tub. Starting with his feet and calves, he wanted to end the night quickly. Never showing any restraint he sat up on the edge of the tub and asked me to preform on him orally. I did my job, but that?s all our relationship was these days, a dreadful job. Getting it over and done with as quick as possible was my hope but I couldn?t let him pick up on those vibes, to make him enticed I had to act like his little porn star, knowing exactly how he wanted it. Only then would my duties be fulfilled and I would be able to get back the reality of my complicated life. Before I could say goodnight, Jeffrey had one more request. He wanted me to tuck him under the blankets and fluff his pillows for him. Then I had to reach under the covers and massage his feet while watching him fall asleep, he even wanted me to wait like twenty minutes or so after he fell asleep before I could leave. It wasn?t unusual for him to ask it but God I hated it, never offering it I would always wait for him to request it. Once he was snoring gently I wiped my hands clean of the lotion and quietly closed the doors to his room. Making my way up the outdoor spiraling staircase, I felt the breeze blow through my hair and looked up to the heavens. The stars shown so bright out here in the middle of nowhere with no big city lights to hinder their effect I could get lost in time staring into them. No matter how far gone I really felt there was always something about a simple caress from the wind or the reflection of the star sweeping sky in the black glossy ocean that would always remind me of my fond love of nature?s blessings. Back in New York, there was nothing left of nature to adorn. It was a dwelling for those who no longer saw the use for trees without cages or blue skies without clouds of man made fumes and gases. Unfortunately if we weren?t in the Caribbean, we were there in New York. Hardly going back to Palm Beach, barely even seeing my family, my dog or T.J these days at all. In my parents heads I was all grown up and educated in the world of wealth not needing them any longer they wouldjust wait for my call once in a while to let them know how I was doing and that was the extent to our restricted relationship. The road my life has led down never has kept me close to home anyways so to me it wasn?t anything unordinary but still a sad existence to be without a family of my own. It would?ve been nice to be missed though, rarely letting myself think like that. No room for pity in my heart, if I did, the ?oodgates could open and I?d have enough grief in one lifetime to go around a few times that they would?ve never been closed. 111 El Copyright l?rolecled Millerial CONFIDENTIAI . Jeffrey?s business was running well from the looks of his attentiveness the office he owned in the Upper East Side of Manhattan. Alan Dershowitz, his colleague in ?nances and personal solicitor, a bird of the same feather, I had seen hanging around the island and effrey?s Manhattan mansion, more and more these days. Alan?s taste for the young and beautiful was a bias for a blooming business relationship between him and Jeffrey. After an explicit session of Jeffrey?s vulgar pilgrimage into my body, we were interrupted by a knock at the door by Jeffrey?s good friend, Alan. I wrapped myself up in Jeffrey?s pink bed sheets, which is the color preference he chose to sleep in because it reminded him of the same color of his own words ?Pussy?, and covered my face from the unexpected intrusion. Jeffrey got up and wrapped a towel around his loins and answered the door completely calm. Opening the bedroom door and letting Alan inside they began to converse about business immediately, right in front of me. Jeffrey started to tell Alan what needed to be done while he jostled some notes down quickly. I peeked my head from underneath the covers thinking they were too wrapped up in their work to notice me get up and dressed, and Jeffrey turned back to me and told me to just stay there this would only take a second. Going back to Alan he turned his focus back into work and hustled out a few more orders before letting Alan out of the door and returning his attention to me. ?Sorry about that, work never stops and neither will the money coming in. How else am I going to make a million dollars while I?m sleeping?? Jeffrey chuckled as he sat back down on the bed next to me. I laughed at his humorous and mostly true statement, then a strand of hair fell in front of my face. Before I could get to it he put it back behind my ears and sweetly stroked my face, for a moment we just looked into each other?s eyes and he nearly seemed almost human to me. It was bizarre how he could be so kind and gentle one moment and the second beforehand was being treated like no more than a common plaything left out for display. Nothing more than an ego trip, Jeffrey got off on letting the ones he wanted to know that he could own anything and anyone he wanted in this world. Maybe for a brief minute I believed the sincerity behind his eyes but that vision would quickly fade away and I would be left second- guessing why I even fell for his deceitful tricks for a moment. Jeffrey got up from the bed and asked me to join him for a shower. In his bedroom, which was the entire top floor, he had a glass shower enclosed underneath a glass skylight right in the middle of the room. It was perfectly accessible feature for a man that loved both being clean and nude, but still an odd feature at that. As 1 always did whenever I showered with him, I lathered a ioofa with soapsuds and would scrub his body, up and down, in between his toes, even behind his ears and of 112 El Copyright l?rolecled Millerial CONFIDENTIAL course his genitals area. The sunlight shown through the glass ceilings into where we were standing, making the moment feel even more surreal on top of the already popped Xanax I had popped before for breakfast earlier that morning. Jeffrey was in such a lighthearted mood that day, making funny cracks at me, and acting like a flirt, When I was finished washing him he actually wanted to wash me too, which was another totally out of his character suggestion. For the rest of the day, he took me everywhere with him, the of?ce and then to a friends place, even just wanting to hang out with me for a while. I wasn?t used to being treated like anything more than a dog on a leash, when he acted like this it just completely spun me around confusing me even more. We were spending heaps of time together these days, a lot more than usual. At the ranch we would do things together, alone, and not just the usual perverted things I was accustomed to doing with him alone. Horseback riding on his ranch during weekends away by ourselves and movie nights snuggling up over a. bucket of popcorn instead of having to massage his feet during the entire film became his way to alter my perception of my original notion that I wasn?t just his sex slave, [thought I was finally becoming his friend. When we went quad biking he no longer wanted me to take my own bike, he preferred me to sit on the back of his, holding onto him and he even tried to teach me how to drive a manual stick shift car. He was de?nitely trying to show a softer side of himself, different to the stone cold slave driver I had to come to respect out of fear over the many years. Still a hard image to change after all I had been through and seen over the years I had been with him. Nonetheless he was still my ?boss? so lhumored his attempts and matched his caring demeanor, giving him the impression I was intrigued in our new kind of affair. Chapter 19 His attentiveness led into the warmer months that commenced the beginning of long summer days that I looked forward too. I couldn?t help but enjoy his eagerness to see me more relaxed these days. He wasn?t even bothering me to find alternate sources of girls for his twisted satisfaction anymore and although I was still being used for his distorted sexual enjoyments he further seduced me into believing I meant a lot more to him than I ever did. 113 El Copyright l?rulecled Molerial CONFIDENTIAL GIUFFRE004246 It all came to a sudden conclusion one sunny afternoon in the Caribbean. Jeffrey pulled himself up to the ladders first step and climbed up the next four steps to the top of the dock. His chest was heaving rapidly as he sat down catching his breath. Ghislane was the next one up and then I followed lastly behind them. To me it was an invigorating snorkel around the shallow reefs within the radius of the dock, but to Jeffrey the half an hour swim in the ocean was enough to overexert his ageing limbs. I took off my snorkel gear and placed it in the storage bench, grabbing us a few towels at the same time. Wrapping a towel around Jeffrey?s backside and handing one to Ghislane, I sat down next to them on the dock and we laughed how fatigued Jeffrey was, poking fun that he really is getting older. A very touchy subject for the vain at heart but he didn?t seem to mind it, probably knowing we?d never take the joke too far. We sat there in silence for a moment, an odd silence at that. Jeffrey looked at Ghislane and then Ghislane looked at me, placing me once again in the spotlight. They both scooted closer to where I was sitting and I felt something stirring in the air. The biggest turning point of events in all of my time spent with them. Jeffrey sat next to me and put his hand on my back and looked at me with a certain kind of sincerity I hadn?t seen in him before. want to ?rst of all tell you that over the last few years you have shown me the kind of devotion and loyalty that I believe is rare to find among people these days, qualities I hold that high in regard.? Bewildered by the whole scenario I just nodded every time he paused, trying to grasp what his intentions were getting at. He continued to praise my nature saying I hope you know my appreciation for your embracing of my lifestyle, you have been achieving a name for yourself among the friends I have introduced you to. Everybody says basically the same thing about you, the same thing I believe. You are a delightfully funny girl who has developed into a mature graceful young woman and I could think of nobody else I?d rather have a child than with than you.? Andjust like that he created a whole new dilemma for me to face. In utter shock from the completely unexpected proposition and before I could even think of anything to respond with, Ghislane made the ?nishing touches with the business end of the deal starting with the pros before the cons ?You would have around the clock nannies to help you. Jeffrey w0uld pay for a mansion of yOur choice in either Palm Beach or New Yor and as if the drumrolls were beckoning you would have a hefty allowance from Jeffrey?s bank account? Astonished at their first offers I nearly took the bait. Then she continued to ?nish the terms of our pre-agreement with ?But you would have to travel with the child where and when Jeffrey wanted you to be, and most importantly you would have to sign a contract stating that Jeffrey and you are not 114 El Copyright l?rolecled Molerial CONFIDENTIAL monogamous and that the chiid would beiong in Jeffrey?s custody in the event of a falling out between the two of you.? She kind of threw that last one in there quickly, as if she coutd get away with me not hearing that I would basicaiiy have to reiinquish the rights to my own ?esh in blood and surrender them to a life of servitude and abuse with these people My maternal alarm bells went off straight away and I already knew my answer. 0 way I could I do that to any poor baby, God only knew what these monsters had in store for me let alone a baby, but it was an instant reaction that saved me. I don?t know guy?s, I mean I?m really young and never really even thought about having kids yet. Wow, I just don?t know.? I siicked my hand through my hair nervously and took in a silent breath. I had to go beyond what I was truly feeling and give them the feeling that I?d never iet them down. Putting an eager smile on my face and sucking up my gut?s intuition I told them ?You know what, let me get my certi?cates in massage and have some time to prepare for this and get healthy then next year we?ll all think about having a baby together.? It was crazy to even hear me say out loud but from the expressions on their faces I had fulfriled their wishes. Much reason to celebrate that night they were both in a cheery mood around the dinner table. Except for me who had taken doubie the dosage of Xanax to even cope with the high amounts of anxiety I had been suffering from since we got back from the dock. I wasn?t sipping the champagne that night, I was gulping it and when their moods tumed from cheery to raunchy later that evening it wasn?t hard for me to comply. From the full effects of the state I was in I would?ve agreed to just about anything, allowing them to treat themseives to ravishing the tender parts of my body. Over the next few weeks everything went on as it normally would, and not another mention of their proposal. My birthday was only a week away and I was turning nineteen that year. All I wanted was to get my certificates before I got any older and get trapped into this life for good. When my big day rolled around I was in New York with Jeffrey and Ghislane. Sitting on my bed listening to channel blare in the background of my room I was painting my toenails when I was suddenly buzzed on the intercom. It was Jeffrey calling himselfto ask me to meet him in his office in ten minutes. Perfect timing to let my nails dry I thought to myself. Already contemplating his desire to come downstairs I knew it had something to do with my birthday present but I was more expecting the usual shopping money or piece of ewelry, definiteiy not what he had in store for me. I knocked on the ajar door to Jeffrey?s office and heard him beckon me inside. ?Heilo, what cha up too?? I asked in a cutesy tone of voice. Walking over to his desk he looked up at me taking his reading 115 El Copyright l?rulecled Millerial CONFIDENTIAI . glasses off whiie granting me a big smiie. ?Come over here and sit down with me? as he ushered me to come sit on his lap. Pulling me onto him he had a funny took on his face, like he had something really big to tetl me and was Ietting the anticipation build in the thickness of the silence. I laughed at the way he was looking at me now. ?First of all. . Happy birthday today.? Was only the beginning of his announcement and he proceeded to tell me know how much you have wanted this for so long and you are more than deserving of it. You are going away to Thailand to learn authentic Thai Massage and within eight weeks you?ll receive a certificate for being a quali?ed Thai Massage Therapist.? Astonished at his attempts to see me get what I wanted, not exactly the type of massage I was interested in but it was a start and a first certificate for me to acquire. My eyes lit up and I threw my arms around his neck, planting a big kiss on his lips, which I rarely ever did. ?Wow, I don?t know what to say, this is beyond my wildest dreams. . .thank you so much!? I did well to let him know I appreciated his grandeur offer. He went on to give me the detaiis of where I?d be staying, the school?s schedules, and how much he loved Thai massage, apparently it was the next big thing to hit the shores of America. He had planned out an entire itinerary for me. I was to depart at the end of August and he had already enrolled me in a class at Massage School?. I would only have a few days to settle in before I would be attending classes five days a week over eight hours a day. He even had an assignment for me to do white I was over there. I was to meet up with a girl who was also being put up at the ?Princess Hotel? where I was staying. She had an Asian sounding name so Ijust assumed she was a Iocai giri hoping for an opportunity ofa lifetime, if she only knew what she wouid be getting herself into. If I decided that she met Jeffrey?s particular quota of approval then she wouid be sent over to the US to meet with him or one of his esteemed colleagues. Besides the guilt of having to decide a stranger?s uncertain fate, everything else sounded more than wonderfui. Eight weeks gone from Jeffrey sounded iike a Iifetime away and I couldn?t be more excited at this chance. It was the opportunity of my lifetime and I wasn?t going to waste a second of it. Ghislane came in a few minutes later and the look on her face told me she already knew. I got up from Jeffrey?s tap and gave her a big hug and toid her, ?This is so nice of you guys, Thank you so much!? She didn?t share my enthusiasm of excitement. In a dull tone she responded, didn?t have a thing to do with it, it was all Jeffrey?s idea but good-luck anyways.? She gave me her best impression of being human for a brief second and hugged me back. It was just her way and I had come to accept it. Depending on the level of slander her insults provoked was just her way of telling you she cares without really ever showing it. Probably 116 El Copyright l?rulecled Millerial CONFIDENTIAL doesn?t make sense to most sane people but after all of the time spent with them, I had gotten to understand a few of their quirky ways. Even if I didn?t agree with them, they knew I would for their sake of opinion. What did it matter anyways I thought, I had been degraded in every other physical way what?s the difference from taking their mental abuse too. Not the exact choice of employers I would?ve chosen over again if given the opportunity but here I was and doing my very best to excel at their demands. I was sent home for a little over a week to pack for the long trip and make the rounds visiting my family before I left overseas on my first trip all by myself. It was great to see my family after such along time away. My older brother and his wife even came down to visit for the well wishing of my departure. Everyone in my family seemed stoked at the prospects my long journey had led me down. Here I was jet setting around the world in my teens and getting paid to study the course of my dreams at a cost that I only knew I would have to pay. It was a wonderful get together with all of them around, a great way to remember them. If I?d only known it would be the last time I would see any of them I would?ve emphasized to my brothers how much I really loved them both and how much I would miss them in the decade to come! But I didn?t know what my future held for me, I had nothing planned out I was just hoping for the right opportunities. I also had a few good friends to catch up with before I went. Every night was another party and by the end of the week I had drunken enough to drown an Irishman on St. Patty?s Day. I was given the lists to all of my friends email address and told to keep in touch. Yeah right I thought, I was going to be too busy having too much fun to be thinking about sitting on a computer emailing people, but I told them I would anyways. Save myself the point of having to explain that in many different ways to a group of already tipsy slurring teenagers. Out of everyone who was really happy for me, T.J wasn?t. He hated the idea of me leaving him to have a non-stop party in Thailand without him. He was just starting to seem like he was coming good and I didn?t like having to leave him at such a vulnerable state but in my young years I had already realized I needed to do some things for myself and this was one ofthem. There was still a huge amount of broken trust between us, trust that could probably never be rendered again so I thought I was being decent enough letting him stay at my apartment while I was gone, but he was not to drive my truck, at all. Ipaid too much money on insurance for that thing and knowing his driving record I didn?t want the risk of something happening while I was gone for so long. He didn?t agree with me at all, throwing a grown up tantrum all over my apartment. Hitting the walls and doors, shouting the entire complex down, there was nothing I could say or do at this point in 117 El Copyright l?ruleeled Millerial CONFIDENTIAI . GIUFFREOO-JZSO time so I just put my dog on the lead and took her for a walk to calm down the situation and give me some time to be alone. Mary Jane was the only one hated leaving behind. When we got back from the long walk she barricaded my suitcase while I was packing the horrendous amount of clothing that I always did. I was promising her I wouldn?t be long and told her how much I loved her giving her a big hug. I choked back on the tears that were swelling up in my eyes, it was like she already knew the night before I ?ew out to New York that this would be my ?nal trip. There was a commercial flight booked for me in the morning and I needed the rest that night to fully recover from my binge of celebration drinking. T.J crept into bed later that night and tried to redeem his behavior with sweet nothings and dry humping my backside. It did nothing for me sexually. I didn?t feel like that for him any longer and the sooner he realized that, the better he?d be off. I told him I wasn?t up for it and he picked up a pillow and slammed the door behind him. It didn?t matter I told myself, the next day I was off and wouldn?t have to deal with him or anyone. T.J caught a cab with me to MIA, the airport in Miami. He walked with me to the furthest point he was allowed to go by the security gates and as we stood in line together it was almost heartbreaking seeing him cry. I told him I?d try to call him everyday, attempting to give him optimistic ways to look at this time away from each othercrying and I had to give into my remaining feelings I had for him. One last kiss under the x-ray bridge and he vanished out of my sight as I furthered down the terminals long hall. Chapter 20 It was only a short flight to New York and Ijust couldn?t wait until next week when I?d bejetting of to an exotic destination all by my lonesome self. It was all I could think about talk about and dream about, finally my break. Ghislane did what she did best that week and prepped me for everything I could imagine under the sun. Do?s and Don?ts, emergency numbers and western union locations were among some things on the list she gave me. Like I said, she showed her caring side in other ways. There was also the name of the girl I was supposed to be meeting, the room she was in and what dates she would be staying there. When got out of Ghislane?s office I was instructed to meet Jeffrey in his of?ce. She had to stay back for some paper work that she had to catch up on pronto. Making my way up the red and gold trimmed carpeted 118 El Copyright l?ruleeled Millerial CONFIDENTIAL staircase I prepared myself for some major sucking up before I left, he would be expecting it for his recent generosity, or so I had thought. Opening those familiar heavy doors the first thing I saw was an unfamiliar face standing over Jeffrey?s shoulder. She was a tall girl with blonde hair twisted up in a professional looking knot, Her big smite was ?ashing at him with hints of her cheekiness to come and she was dressed to kill with a short tight grey skirt and a matching suit jacket over her white buttoned down blouse, revealing her voluptuous ample cleavage. She looked like the old coliege professor?s wet dream. When she introduced herself to me, a thick Czech accent presented itself. Her name was Nadia Marcinkova and Jeffrey looked just about as smitten as a victim of a love struck arrow from no one but the cupids themselves. Jeffrey further introduced her as his new assistant and masseuse white I would be away, barely taking his eyes off her for one second. It was a bit ofa blow to take, being so easily replaced but also a part of me already knew this was expected off someone like him. Good for him I thought to myself, why should I have bitterness over someone I never had intimate feelings for and knew had never really cared for me in the ?rst place. Kissing her on the cheeks and telling her my name, 1 was doing my best to grin and bear it. We hugged for a brief show of uniformity but it was just that, a show for Jeffrey to see. When he was away for the moment or she wasn?t busy hanging offhis every word, the way we all started out, she would snub me off to only head off in another direction. A real bitch if anyone was to ask me but no one would anyways it wasn?t my job to like her. Over the next course of days it was my task to show her some of my techniques in massaging Jeffrey and the erotic side of ?nishing it off. Nadia despised me even more when Jeffrey told her to follow my lead during the massage as she tried to take over and do her own thing a few times. To me it was quite funny her competitive side, I had nothing more to prove so watching her put on an act of seduction and scream out her every body function during a faked orgasm was nothing but entertaining in my eyes. After a few sessions together it was my time to be off on another adventure far, far away from here or from the chains that I wore for way too long. Jeffrey had someone else to fit the chains that kept me so close to him, Even though she wasn?t the nicest ofgirls I still couldn?t help but feel sorry for her. No girl should belong to someone out of servitude, but unfortunately it is the way our civilization has been for many centuries before us and I don?t see changing any time soon or as long as perverts like Jeffrey are allowed to walk around freely and procure our daughters off the streets all because he?s got a lot of money to pay many, many, many people off. 119 El Copyright l?rulecled Millerial CONFIDENTIAL GIUFFREOO-JZSZ Throw out your confetti because here I come Chang-Mail! My ceiebrations started the second I landed, it didn?t take me long to make myseifaquatinted with a few fellow travelers and find the hot spots of the hustling city. It was like nowhere I had ever been before. The streets were lined with stalls offering an assortment of souvenirs, clothing, and knick- knacks. Everyone lived so freely and was in such great spirits. The parties raged on until the wee hours of the morning and people became best friends over night. From the second I got there I knew Thailand was going was right! Popping bottles of champagne, dancing all night to the beat of every club?s along my way and carrying on like it was my birthday. . ,every night was a repetition I could definitely get used too. During the day I was a real good girl, the teachers pet even. Showing the credibility of my experience in massage from over the last few years and already ahead of the class the teacher was using me to help instruct the others with demonstrations. Mostly in a class full of males it wasn?t a surprise that I made friends with quite a few of them, some of them with ulterior motives, but for the most part the sleazebags were none of my concern, I had already dealt with a lifetime of them to be able to spot one out and steer clear of his approaches. Out of the entire class I had made friends with only one girl from Wisconsin. She was a plain looking girl with big brown puppy dog eyes and a long drawn out accent. Her ?rst time leaving the States or Wisconsin itself for that matter so it was easy to acknowledge that she was a little taken aback by all of the bustling city life so becoming her friend felt like I was doing a good deed showing her around the hot spots of the Chaing-Mai nightlife. Eventually I even ended up inviting her to stay with me at my hotel. She was running out of money to party every night then pay for school on top of her accommodation, it was all becoming too much out of her small budget. So I thought about it and offered her a bed in my room, I had two of them anyways. Plus she was a really nice giri and ifl could help make her first time out of the country an unforgettable experience then I was also gaining something from it as well. The first month in quickly passed me by. Having such an incredible time on my own and putting my heart into learning Thai Massage it seemed tojust fly past. Routinely I had to call in and check in with Jeffrey and Ghislane letting them know my whereabouts and progression in class. Counting down the time left untii my course finished Jeffrey was anticipating my departure back to New York. can?t wait to get my first Thai massage from you. i?ve got you booked to come straight back to New York for my first one as soon as your course finishes next month.? His eagerness put a twisted familiar knot in my stomach. Reminding me of the dream I have to awake from soon and the reality of the certain homecoming I would be arriving to. It?s such a great course, thank you 120 El Copyright l?rolecled Millerial CONFIDENTIAL so much for sending me here to learn this. You are going to love my new area of expertise! I am having such an amazing time over herell? I had to let him know how much I appreciated what he had done for me and he loved the head swell that it would make him feel as well. Hating the thought of going back to him, I wasn?t going to let that put a damper on my spirits while I was still out there. It was my time to party harder than ever before. Every night was a new adventure for me. Chang-Mai was a maze of places to get lost in and the vibrant city was my playground. The way I saw it this was my last chance to get out and break free, letting loose my inner girl it felt so good to take the lead of my own life. Chapter 21 it was an average evening getting ready in front of the bathroom mirror on just an average Sunday, though unbeknownst to us girls as we sat there chatting away carelessly, this night was already written in the stars for me. It was a very long time ago now when was still a young child that I sat looking up to those same stars from my bedroom window with my hands pressed together as I cried for God to hear my prayers. All I asked him for was death. My precious life was already such a hopeless battle that I felt too small to ?ght alone for. Begging him to deliver me from this cruel world I would pray for all of my pain would to away for good. My only clause in my prayers was the possibility that there was somebody in this wide world that I was meant to love, something much bigger than I could have even imagined yet. This invocation of mine was forgotten about long ago now, until tonight. I wish I had known that night I sat crying beneath the stars that it would all be different one day and that I hadn?t sold myself short to the accustomed lifestyle I was brought up to believing was acceptable. It was this night my very soul was about to cosmically collide with the man I was always meant for, the man my heart already belonged to and would know from the instant we met. This night would be the ?rst day to the beginning of my new life to come. I blushed my cheeks and put on my mascara before me and my girlfriend headed out to hit the town. We were dressed to kill and looking for something to do when we ran into a few of our class mates at one of our favorite drinking spots. They were meeting up for some drinks before a Muay?Thai kickboxing toumament. It sounded like fun when they invited us along to watch it with them. The massive crowd lined the street where the ?ght was being held and once I got inside the arena it was push 121 El Copyright l?rulecled Mnlerial . and shove to try to find a spot to watch from. The friends that we were hanging out with were meeting up with another group of guys that were training for the kickboxing tournaments that we were watching. Then it happened it was the first moment 1 laid eyes on the man that would love me for the rest of my life. I wasn?t expecting the most amazing time of my life to happen right there and then but it did and I would never be the same again. Destiny fell right smack into my lap and there was no stopping it! It wasn?t just his smoldering appeal that was obvious at ?rst sight it was the entire package of mannerism and chivalry that made him stand out of the crowd. Stepping right out of the pages of the fairytales I used to read, he was nothing like I had ever come to know before. Watching him from a close distance he was playfully shadow boxing one of the guys from my massage class and it was at that moment that this handsome stranger ?rst caught me staring at him. From top to toe this athletically built man was intriguing to watch, I couldn?t take my eyes off him like I was magnetically drawn to his power of attraction. He further interested me when he wasn?t acting like the majority of harping dogs that would jump at the eyes I was giving him now. Instead he coyly played hard to get, making me work for any conversation with him. The ?ght started and the men were going bezerk, screaming at the fighters in the ring offering either fighter their support or discrimination depending on whom they were batting for. It was like watching a primitive scene out of the days when the cavemen ruled the earth but it was as equally alluring to watch unfold, the sweat, the blood and tie absolute brut fascination of it all. After the ?ght and all of the men revved up from the fight. 1 suggested that we all head to the pizza joint in front of the Princess Hotel where was staying for a late night snack. I made it my goal to make myself known to this appealing stranger. in the tuk?tuk on the way there I made sure I sat next to Robbie. Scooting my knees closer and closer to him on the short ride he continued his chase by moving further away from me, a game of cat and mouse that I loved. When he answered back the array of my questions he had the cutest Aussie accent that drove me absolutely wild. Gradually we got to know each other better over a pie of peperoni pizza and two can?s ofcoke. Too me he might as well have been the only other person in the restaurant, he knew he had my undivided attention and I think he liked it. There was no one like him that had ever met before and I knew there was no other who could make me feel the way that I felt at the first sight of him. Being charming and suave was all an accidental front. It was easy to read him. Immediately it wasn?t hard to see his sweet side. holding the door and pulling out my chair at the restaurant, I was 122 El Copyright l?ruleeled Mnlerial CONFIDENTIAL already smitten. After pizza. he walked me across the street to my hotel where we made plans to meet up again. There was no kiss goodnight or anything like that. No, he was too polite for that, he wanted to prove himself different and different he was. Walking through the hotel?s revolving doors I watched as he walked away and when he was finally out of sight, I sung my way up to my room. Floating on cloud nine I was free falling into a deep pit of love. The next day I attended my class as usual but not able to concentrate like I normally did, too excited about when I?d be seeing Robbie that night again. As I walked out of class that afternoon even the teacher noticed a difference in my performance and asked me if I was feeling well, ?On top of the world actually? I smiled back at the old instructor and it wasn ?t far from the exact truth either. I hadn?t ever felt the churning of butter?ies in my stomach and the constant thoughts of anyone else like this before. My girlfriend and I got a tuk-tuk back together as we usually did after school and I couldn?t shut up about the night before. She was laughing at my girlishness telling me that anyone who just met me would think I had never been let out before, but little did she know that I had more than my fair share in experience with men and never had I ever come across anyone that could make me feel this way, and what spun me out even more was that it was such an instant attraction. Never considering myselfa person who believed in the existence of ?Love at first sight", but a true romantic deep at heart, I couldn?t help but believe in it now. He is my walking proof ofitt Waiting for me in the hotel lobby was the very person I couldn?t stop entertaining the thought of all day long, there he was looking ever so ?ne standing in front of me now. The whole entire world faded away and all that was left for the moment was this complete stranger I had only met last night but somehow captivated the very essence of my very heart. There was no need for me to try and act cool now. He already knew I was snagged hook, line and sinker. Smiling all the way up the many stories in the elevator up to my room he took notice of the posh decor of the hotel. ?You should see where I?m staying, this is a royal palace compared to it? His ?rst impression of me he automatically thought I was going to be a spoiled high-maintenance girl that had money coming in from a parents hefty trust fund. Casually he got to find out through many deep and meaningful conversations that my life?s grim story wasn?t that pretty at all. For some reason beyond my knowledge I had the need to tell this stranger almost everything. Wanting to be judged and looked down upon for everything about my life that I knew was wrong and being the first time I had spoken about my years with Jeffrey to anyone honestly like that ever before, I had felt like I had deserved punishment. He offered me no judgment, instead only 123 El Copyright l?rulecled Millerial CONFIDENTIAL gave me his warmth and compassion as he wrapped his strong arms around me, making me feel so meager and small but so safe at the same time, Encouraging me to see the worthiness of myself and leave that life behind, he adorned me with a kind love that I wasn?t accustomed too. He took me in and made me feel so at home. It was like had known him my whole life. I couldn?t bear to be without him another second while I was away on this dream holiday. When he wasn?t training for Muay-Thai tournaments and I wasn?t in school, nobody would ever see us. Too enveloped in each other in my hotel room to care about anything else. Which is why I asked him to come stay at my hotel with me, seeing he was never at his own anyways. My girlfriend was soon departing back to Wisconsin, making my room more than available for him. Enchanted by his words and tender touch, the way he made love to me was again like nothing I had experienced before. Even down to after sex as I had been routinely instructed by Jeffrey to get up for a warm washcloth to clean his genitals afterwards, he refused it, telling me I was no longer a slave and that he didn?t want me acting like one. l-Ie?d just rather lay down together afterwards and repeat our sweet nothings with many adjoining kisses. On our third night together with nothing but the bed sheets between us, we had spent all night looking into each other?s eyes sharing such an undeniable passion for one another. In the deepest caverns of my heart I knew this man would give me what I had never experienced before. . .True love. We were still laying in each others arms when the orange and pink sunrise began to rise slowly through the peak?s of my rooms windows, enticing me to come feel the freshness of the morning?s chill. Only the bed sheets were still wrapped around my body as I went the balcony. It was overlooking the city in a valley surrounded by mountainous tops. My thoughts began to rampage through my head and I knew this could only be a dream for me. It was getting serious now, too serious for the life that I led back home. As if he sensed my anxiety Robbie walked up behind me and wrapped his strong arms around my waistline, gently kissing my neckline and pausing with his ever so thoughtful stares and gave me the exact opening that I needed to expel my thoughts. ?Back home, as you already know, I am going back to someone else, it?s my job, and as much as I really like you, this guy that I kind of see is going to expect me to be putting him first, I am so sorry to say all of this after such a wonderful few days we have spent together, but you need to know this thing happening between us can?t get anymore serious than what we have for now. I am so sorry? I looked down to the ?oor with nothing else I could say to alter his perception of me now that I had told him the truth and it never dawned on me that thought he wouldn?t be out the door before I could even finish my sentence but he 124 El Copyright l?rolecled Millerial CONFIDENTIAL continued to surprise me with his efforts to make me believe we were more than just friends with a summer crush. You your problem is that you don?t see what I am looking at right here in front of me, a beautiful girl who is completely lost in a game that she has no control over. Get out ofit now, take my hand and follow me back to my home in Australia.? I heard what he had said but I found it hard to comprehend what he was actually talking about. ?What?? I asked him with a look of confusion on my face. ?Your nobody?s property, you can do this. Marry me.? His statements got more and more profound as he went on. Repeating the question he got on one knee and proposed again Jenna, I am in love with you and want to spend the rest ofmy life making you happy. Please don?t go back to him. I know that I am the only one for you and I will always treat you right. He paused for another second and repeated his question ?Jenna, will you please marry me?? My hands fell into my face after that and without even letting myself think through the answer, I let my heart do all of the talking. Looking back up at him I said ?Yes!? I almost shouted the answer at him, as if saying it louder would give the word more meaning. Wanting to believe him and everything that he was saying felt like a vacation from all of the suffering and loneliness that I had endured over a lifetime of abuse and degradation but knowing what you want and getting it are two different things that rarely went hand in hand. . .or so I thought. All I knew from the briefperiod I had known this stranger was that he was offering me a life and love down an unfamiliar path and it was a gamble to believe a complete stranger but somehow I knew he was right. My heart was beating so loud I thought it was going to jump right out of my chest. With the earnestly in my reply he picked me up in his strong arms and took me back to the bed and reiterated his words in a more physical sense this time. Never had I felt loved like this before, so swept off my feet and unable to even think, eat, or do anything for that matter which would involve leaving the hotel room without him. Everyday after school would be my Robbie waiting to take me back to the hotel room for another night?s passionate rendezvous, but a few nights after his proposal, he had another surprise in store. He didn?t just want to get married someday. He wanted to get married now, this week even. I walked into the fabric store and was attended too by several seamstresses who were already be expecting my arrival. I was there to design and have fun designing my own dream wedding dress. While I was busy picking out fabrics and having measurements taken I would look away for a moment only to catch his tender eyes staring in my direction. Such adoration behind his looks. . .could it be real? I would often ponder it to myself just hoping for the gamble I was taking to work 125 El Copyright l?ruleeled Millerial CONFIDENTIAL out. I still had to believe in something better than what I was accustomed too and here he was right smack dab in front of me. Giggling at all of the lace and frills they were trying to dress me up in, looking more like an antique porcelain doll than anything else I closed my eyes and pictured the day that I thought would never come, starting to imagine the kind of dress I would like to wear I envisioned a simple sleekness, a complimentary ?gure hugging gown with a small train but long enough to distinct it as an actual wedding dress. After we settled on what we were going to wear for the big day, we would next have to decide where we would hold the ceremony. Not before celebrating the entire week beforehand though. We started our honeymoon early celebrating every night spending our time between my hotel room and sending our heads spinning on the dance floor at many different clubs. Only with each other in sight, the dance floor was ours, we were out to give each other something to remember each night by. I whispered all of the things I couldn?t wait to do him once we got back to the hotel room and watching him heat up on the dance floor I was never able to get enough ofhim driving me crazy. Like a thirst I was unable to quench, his lips were like a fountain of deep springs that I could never reach the bottom of. Seven days, exactly a week after his proposal I sat on my bed in distress, contemplating what I would say to the man who I was about to call. There was no nice way to go about it. I couldn?t last forever with him and this was my one chance to get out of it for good. I was leaving him, never to return to him ever again. I just had to go ahead and do it. Part of me was hoping he?d be at least a little happy for me and the sudden change in my life?s direction but the other part of me knew I was already asking too much of him. Calling his of?ce in New York I was transferred to Jeffrey?s personal office. He picked up the phone on the third ring, pausing before 1 could get any of the words to come out of my mouth but I mustered up my courage eventually and gave him my prepared spiel. Beginning with how much I had appreciated everything he has done for me up until this point. I hoped he would be understanding but he just wanted me to hurry up and get to the point. Trying to contagiously pass on my excitement through the phone lines, I ?nally screamed out ?I?m getting married! Can you believe it?? No reply was given only a silence on the other end. Trying to make some conversation ridding the uncomfortable silence, I went on to tell him about Robbie and how I had fallen madly in love with him over the last amazing few days we?d spent together. The absence of sound made my thoughts begin to run wild and to get some response I had to ask him what he thought about everything I was telling him. Finally a few seconds later his reaction to the news sunk in and his only and final reply 126 El Copyright l?rolecled Milleriul CONFIDENTIAL until many years to come was Have a good life!? With that statement he slammed down phone receiver. Leaving only an echo of the dial tone to answer back too. I was to paralyzed from the shocking response. ?What have I just done?? was the first thing that entered my thoughts. Overwhelmed with guilt I felt like I was falling down a deep and dark hole and then the tears began to ?ood in. Here I was standing at the dawn ofa new happy life for myself and couldn?t see past how bad I had let Jeffrey down not yet seeing the hold he had on me. Like my knight on a white horse, in came my hero to soothe my somberness. He rushed over to the bed where I was beating myself up mentally and wiped the falling tears from my cheeks. take it that it didn?t go so well. . .huh?? Snif?ing through my sobs I managed to tell him that ?It doesn?t matter anymore all I care about is you and leaving all of that life behind me!? 1 wrapped my arms around him and he asked me in a halfjoking voice ?Then why are you crying?? He got me almost laughing now too guess it?s just so scary taking such a huge plunge away from what I?m used too and taking such a big move to another country. It?s just all so different and I?m just trying to comprehend everything that is happening in such a short time.? Always out to lift my spirits his next comments made me gush in laughter ?You think that was a hard phone call wait until I call my Sicilian mother! Watch this, I know exactly what she?ll say. First it?ll be a saga about how I?m killing her with my sel?sh actions then it?ll be about how she?s going to kill herself for doing such a terrible job raising normal children. Don?t worry though, she?ll love every second ofit. Wogs thrive off of the drama in their lives and off everybody else?s for that matterll? He was pretty much on the dot when he told me how she?d react to the news. ln the end after relentlessly trying to change his mind, she sighed, ?if it was going to be anybody to do something as crazy as this, Robbie, it would be you!? lt wasn?t a blessing as such but at least she wasn?t threatening suicide any longer. Calling the closest of our families the night before our wedding to share with them our announcement wasn?t celebrated by any members of either sides but that didn?t discern us one bit. My parents took it well, considering their only daughter was marrying a foreign man that they didn?t know from the next guy on the street and too top it off I was moving to Australia, permanently. When I asked my Dad many years later why they hadn?t put up a fight, he just simply replied that nobody expected it too last very long. Fair enough, I thOught. I don?t think anyone did at first. . .even us at our toughest times. We were a rare attribute these days in the numb era we have all been accustomed to living in, turning nothing into something, which I had also come to realize, was the most precious gift in life. . .Love. 127 El Copyright l?rolccled Mnlerial CONFIDENTIAI . Falling asleep was easy to do in his arms that night. 1 laid my head on top of his chest listening to the drum ofhis beating heart. I had never felt like I was more at home than ever before in my life. He pulled me gently in closer to him, letting me know that he was there for me even when the lights went out and the thoughts would usually creep in. Amazing how he knew what I needed without even asking for it. Wishing for something like this my whole life I thought I was being such a fool in so many ways, but I was so wrong. The way his pretty eyes looked at me with such an understanding and compassionate sincerity made me want to trust his words and believe the love that he was offering me was indeed real. The next morning, Robbie was up and out of bed early to pick up our tailored wedding suits and dresses for our big day at Doi Cept Temple. His best friend from high school days that was travelling with him from Australia met him in the hotel lobby at seven o?clock. He was going to be joining us for the wedding as Robbie?s best man. He still hadn?t been able to find black shoes to go with the suit, so after he dropped off my dress back to me he was off again to try and find himselfa pair of decent looking ones. Overj oyed with excitement I was thrilled from the second I kissed Robbie good-bye for the last time before we were officially married. Looking in the same mirror only a week ago I was now a different person, I felt like I was plunging into a bottomless abyss. Here I go, I thought to myself as I plunged out the door letting the butterflies in my stomach carry me all the way to my nearly husband. I had to go to the beauticians that morning for my pre- wedding makeup and dressing. The ladies who were doing my hair and face at the salon did a greatjob making me feel so beautiful for my special occasion that every girl dreams about their whole entire life. Requesting simplicity at best, not wanting to go overboard with all of the wedding apparel they tied my long hair up into a knot wrapping around it a veil of flowers made up of baby?s breath and small yellow and purple budding flowers. I couldn?t have dreamt it up better myself and when I met my husband to be at the bottom of the mountain he stood before me speechless ?You look beautiful!? were his first words that his mouth formed almost whispering them. He took my hand and we walked into the sky lift together. Behind us followed an interpreter that Robbie hired to translate the Buddhist Monks ceremony speech for us English only speakers and then his best friend, who only moments before gave him the best mans speech about being the last chance to walk away from this and not get married to a girl he hardly knew, but my Robbie wouldn?t hear a word of it. He already made up his mind the instant he proposed and I said yes, was born to be with this girl,? he told his best mate. ?Alright then lets go do this then!? Once he knew Robbie was sure in his decision he was more than ecstatic for him. We were slowly lifted up the tremendous mountainside, 128 El Copyright l?rolecled Mnleriul CONFIDENTIAL surrounded by the ?oral green carpet of mossy grass that covered the and falling fog, it was like being carried to heaven or the closest thing to it! Taking my eyes off the scenery and catching him adoringly staring at me again, I welled up with unstoppable tears. am so lucky, is this really happening?? He squeezed my hands and replied back ?You?re the only one for me. . .I love you!? relieving the anxiety written all over my tear stained face. Chapter 22 Getting out of the carriage we were greeted by good fortune from the Gods above. A sun shower cascaded over us at we advanced into the ancient holy temple. My tears ofjoy dried and my happiness was glowing for all to see. The many visitors to the temple stopped and took photos of the passing bride and groom, no other foreigners had ever been married there and certainly anyone wearing traditional western wedding attire, such a sight had never been seen behind these religious walls, we became a permanent icon at the temple. The ceremony was done in the Buddhist customs according to their ancestral accordance, and translated for us in our own language. Both Robbie and I were anointed with a blessing from the monk with a splash of water and seven sacramental bracelets, each one representing another meaning to the longevity of our union together. We signed our names in the Buddhist wedding registry of Doi Cept Temple and of?cially became Mr. Mrs. Roberts at least officially in our hearts knowing the laws of Australia only recognize certi?ed weddings, meanng when we got back to his homeland we?d have to make a run for the courthouse. This was our real wedding though, perfect down to every detail. Walking up to the highest point of the temple to the balcony hanging over the edge of a cliff side over looking the city of Chang-Mai, we knew we had found the perfect spot to recite our vows of love to each other. Providing everything for me and more than I could ever ask for, his vows were to love me unconditionally until death do we part, shelter me from all the cruelty in the world that I was so accustomed too and to be like the bear, because the bear never forgets. Tears once again streamed down from my eyes as he made this moment unforgettable. Wiping the mascara fading underneath my eyelids whilst giggling at my embarrassment I took his hands back into mine again and gave him the vows that were the sacred prepared words from my heart. My ears were thundering the sound of a million horses hoofs descending downhill and my heart was beating so fast my words barely trembled out of my mouth when I began to tell him how much he had changed my 129 El Copyright l?rulecled Molerial CONFIDENTIAI . whole life around and how 1 would dedicate my entire being to loving him and only him until Iblew my ?nal breath. I meant every word that I said to him, this was it for me, wanting nothing more out of life than to be with someone like him to raise a few kids together and grow old on the front porch letting the days fade us by. I know it probably sounds boring to most and it would?ve to me as well many years ago but after the life I had led, I had enough experience in the real world for my liking and now all I want to do is to enjoy the remaining days of my life for what it is. . .a simple and satisfying existence. Our day was so special but not only to us, even too the Monk that married us. Upon our descent down the lifts he asked ifhe could take a photo with the bride and groom in front of their symbolic liberty bell signifying the union between east and west. It represented a lot for us too, it was the commencement of a new life together and just the beginning of battling each other?s past demons together. Kissing the bridal party goodbye, who were just the local girls I had met on some of our many nights out of having fun. I threw my arranged bouquet of Thailand?s white wedding ?oras mixed with colorful orchids to the screaming Thai women behind me and we were given one last tradition to take with us, the release of caged doves. It was such an incredible gesture, especially for me. Symbolizing their freedom as well as mine I opened the cage?s door to let them free to decide our own fates. As the wings on the birds began to spread open and they took their final decent into the blue skies granting themselves freedom I knew mine had finally come too. The relevance of watching them fly away and how I had perceived my own day of marriage related to the identical feeling of ?eeing an entrapment of my own kind. I was liberated from the bounds of slavery 1 had come to know over the many years I had spent with my fair share of greedy perverted old men only to have serendipity mend my scars with the powerful healing of what true love has to endeavor on. As customary in the romance novels I had read as a young girl he picked me up in the hallway before our hotel suite and carried me over the threshold, poufy dress and all. My arms were squeezed around his neck never once taking my eyes off ofhim until he revealed yet another sweet surprise. Besides the cleaners tiding up my room while we were gone they were also given instructions by none other than the groom himself to pick the petals off the stems of red roses to place on our bed in the shape of a giant heart. The rose petals led the way to where we consummated our love physically and it was undeniably the ?rst time in my life I had really ever been made love too. Hours had passed by before we thought about anything else besides one another?s words of arousal, tantalizing touches, and lingering kisses. We ate a quiet dinner at a local restaurant and went straight back to the arms of each other again, so 130 El Copyright l?rolecled Molerial CONFIDENTIAL profoundly in love with one another it was the ideal display of what the ?honeymoon period? should have to show for. It was crazy, young and energetic, just what it should be between two blossoming lovers. The following morning we left the Princess Hotel, no longer under any of Jeffrey?s ?nancial privileges or control so to speak, continuing our love Spree in another dwelling of our own accord. Three days later when we ?nally showed our face for the first time since checking in downstairs in the new hotel lobby, besides to request fresh sheets and towels, the entire staff of the hotel had a good laugh at our expenditure, from their reaction it must?ve been nice to see a couple so affectionately fond of each other. Now we wanted to have another type of fun, Robbie had visited a tourist agent by himself before we got hitched to book a honeymoon itinerary for us to explore Thailand and beyond together, another surprise he had in store for me. We left early in the morning andjoined the crowded bus for our journey beyond the border of Thailand to a village in the war torn nation of Laos. When we got through the extremely armored visa of?ce eight hours off the beaten path, we then had to cross a ?ooding river from a recent heavy downpour of rain in a slim banana boat that looked like it could barely handle our weight let alone the excess of my luggage that Robbie was so kind to trek around the world for me. Unbelievably we did make it to the other side only to ?nd that my honeymoon in the tropics wasn?t exactly how it had been explained to me. Naked children ran through the dirty streets, with one boy that decided to release his bladder on the pathway where we were walking as we passed by him on the way to our hotel. My doubts of his choice in destinations became apparent after that sight. Robbie was getting hungry after we hadn?t eaten the entire duration of the trip and being such a rugged man he could digest just about anything. Deciding to stop on the side of the road he ordered some kind of seafood dish. . .daring I thought, settling for some toast and jam, something safer I thought. Then I saw the lady behind the counter dip some plates in a dirty bucket full of dirty water and then rinse in another bucket of water that didn?t look as bad as the previous mud drenched one and then further proceeded to put my toast and his food on top of them serving it to us all in a clear view. ljust couldn?t bring myself to even fathom it can?t eat that!" I mouthed in a hushed voice trying to quietly make my point clear but was made public with his loud mouth outburst of ?Why not? Looks ?ne to me. You have to try and eat something, you haven?t eaten all day!? I know it was just his caring side that was trying to force Sicilian and they?re all about eating so it was our first debate and now we were of?cially married with many more marital conflicts to subsequently follow. Two head strong and stubborn people both with the right 131 El Copyright l?rulecled Mnlerial CONFIDENTIAI . intentions but still recovering from old wounds. It was only natural and important that we fought just as much as we made passionate love together. Countlessly proving to one another the true intentions of each other loves but sometimes in not so seemingly actions. Finally arriving at the hotel it was like a scene out ofa horror ?ick. We were showed up to the room that looked like someone had been brutally killed in. The bed sheets were torn apart and the bed was stained with blood from some poor helpless victim. Nearly vomiting at the pure sight of the room and the stench that accompanied it, I was now tearing at the thought of even staying here for a single moment longer. ?No way!? I told my new husband and from the tone in my voice he knew I was serious. Not that I was not denying the fact I have never been an outback type of girl. was ?ne with that impression, I am no snob but give me the simple luxuries ofa clean bed and a shower then I?ll make myself at home, but this was just the epitome of ?lth and even possibly an act ofa horrendous event but who knows, the lady who showed us to the room seemed fine with it passng it off as a hooker on her period. In some ways that was even worse. . .?Yuk. ..Okay Robbie it?s time to we were heading back down hill back to the passport center declaring our passage back into Thailand. Considering us a risk due to the short time we spent crossing the border and back, the of?cials held us at gunpoint while others rummaged through our luggage for drugs or whatnot. Finding nothing of course they released us and stamped our passports, making us good for another three months if we wanted. We were thankful for escaping with our lives alone, although we had nothing to hide but still an endearing experience nonetheless in the ?rst days of our honeymoon of all days. Chapter 23 Arriving in Koh Samui for ?nally a bit of relaxation in the tropics, it was my idea of how a holiday should be, sunny warm, and well, clean enough. We lived it up like kings for the next six weeks. Making it an ideal way for two strangers to properly get acquainted. Dancing into the wee hours of the night and making love in the blistering heat of the sunny days we discovered everything on that mostly being each other. We made friends of all sorts, mostly travelers, but everyone the same in being taken aback by our fairytale romance. With our captivated eyes never straying too far from one another anyone could easily see the strong chemistry between us. Trying to ?nd the woman in me wasn?t dif?cult, as took to the bounds of marriage with such case, no longer a girl I loved the idea of being a 132 El Copyright l?rolecled Mnlerial CONFIDENTIAI . wife and belonging to a husband like Robbie. Marriage was bliss for the duration of our honeymoon until we had to ride coach on our way to Bangkok Airport to fly out to Australia. Chatting away with always so much to say to each other we watched a movie and finally got comfortable leaning up against each other as pillows. We both fell asleep on the long ride and when we woke up to the sound of the buses brakes coming to a halt we initially realized my purse and Robbie?s wallet with all of our money and cards in it was missing. Stranded in the city of Bangkok was frightening enough as it was but too make matters worse a lady looking in her mid-seventies, scrawny and hunched over from an obvious lack of nutrition lifted up her skirt to a passer?byer with a she- male hanging off his arm and began smacking her vagina blaring out ?Look! No cock. . Pussy, pussy! Only five baht? repeating herself many times over the man just walked on past as she sat back down on the curb waiting for the next alluring customer. Robbie and I shook our heads in disgust and disbelief, things could really be that bad for someone, I would know best as it wasn?t far off the life Jeffrey had been training me up for. Completely broke at two o?clock in the morning and with no one to call for help, I panicked right away. Robbie rubbed my back and his tired eyes trying to make the situation better. Luckily we had made friends with some really nice people from the resort on the island who gave us about two thousand baht when they saw how devastated Robbie and I were. With just enough money to rent a really cheap room for the night at a backpackers hostel and pay for a taxi to the airport the following day, we were saved. Early the next morning we were off in separate planes, since Robbie?s ticket was pre-booked and no available seats left for me to join him meant we would be landing in Australia separately. Fortunately we had found a corresponding ?ight that arrived within the same hour of each other but I would have to make a stop over to the Philippines. The hours of the duration on the flight seemed to stretch on with only the thoughts of the journey ahead of me I couldn?t wait to get back to my husbands loving arms. The trip was going well, sleeping the majority ofthe ?ight until had to change planes in the Philippines. After the plane landed and before any passenger was allowed to get off we were handed a declaration statement that informed us that if we were carrying any drugs or weaponry, we would be arrested and face charges with death as the ultimate penalty. Not that I had anything to worry about, but what a thought to willingly sign over your life. I got the chills handing over my signed declaration and traveling documents to the customs officer. Obtaining my passport he additionally asked to see my departing ticket. No problem I thought, just I had done many of times, and I handed over the requested information. The officer looked me over 133 El Copyright l?rolecled Millerial CONFIDENTIAI . and got on the phone immediately which sounded like a phone call to his superiors but couldn?t tell since it was in another language. A brief conversation but long enough to get me thinking, he then called over two guards who took me by the arms and brought me into an empty room but for a desk and three chairs to be interrogated. No one would tell me what was going on they all just scattered around in frenzy, ignoring all of my hysterical inquisitions. Leaving me by myself and alone with my thoughts I couldn?t help but panic even worse now. This was a total bombshell of confusion on my part, what had I done wrong? Minute?s later a large-framed women in a green uniform entered the room with the guards from before and sat down across from me with a stern look in her eyes. She placed my documents on the desk in between us. Not saying a word to me she was waiting for me to give her an explanation for something. ?Can you please tell me what this is about, have I done something wrong?? I asked her politely, trying to restraint any animosity towards her. Her reply sounded as grim as she looked. ?You have been in Thailand for three months and now you have only a one way ticket booked to Australia with no visa. What exactly are your plans once you get there, Ms. Roberts?? To myself I wondered what business it was to her, don?t people travel with one?way tickets all the time? Knowing I was in no position to be able to say anything like that or even at all I just gave in nicely and told her my intentions to travel over there. Crying through my entire explanation I wasn?t sure ifl was going to even make my ?ight now. She had to think about everything I had told her for a moment, deciding whether or not she would grant me permission to meet my husband in Australia or send me back alone to Bangkok. With only time on my side she had to make a hasty verdict now. One more question had to be answered before I was let go, she wanted some proof. If you havejust got married can you show me your marriage certificate then?? This didn?t help my stories credibility at all seeing that we were married in a Buddhist temple and given woven bracelets instead of certi?cates. Explaining to her that I didn?t have one to show her yet but was already aware that I would have to obtain a legal marriage certificate through a courthouse upon my arrival in Australia to stay there legally, it was only because of my husbands beliefs we wanted to get married in a Buddhist ceremony. She must have shared a common interest in religion or something like that as she ?nally cracked a smile upon the photos of the wedding day that I showed her and carrying in my purse since getting them developed, if she wanted proof, well this is all I really had. Handing me back my documents and ticket I was now free to leave but she wasn?t leaving me much time to run through the airports terminal to get to my departing plane. Expeditiously bolting through the busy airport 134 El Copyright l?rulecled Millerial CONFIDENTIAL my adrenaline was still pumping from the previous encounter with the of?cials of the Philippines who had enough power to condemn me if they had felt like it. I caught my plane in the knick of time and once I was settled in my seat my thoughts went back to my dear Robbie and how much I was missing him. I was just relieved that back with him again soon. Looking out the window I could see the red earth beneath me. As I landed for the last time I took notice of the ?rst steps I walked off the plane and onto a new soil for the ?rst time. I had so much to be looking forward too in my new homeland. In my heart I knew this was all I ever wanted, this was going to be my haven, There was another surprise in store for me when two elder strangers walked up to me and asked my name. ?Are you Jenna?? Nodding at their question they gave me their ?rst names and wrapped their arms around my neck. My new mother-in law then said, We are Robbie?s parents. We wanted to be the ?rst ones who welcomed you to Australia and into our family? It was my in-Iaws meeting me for the first time. Handing me some balloons and flowers they even had gifts for their new daughter-in law. While waiting for Robbie?s plane to arrive we all chatted about many things like the ?ight over from Thailand and the scare at the previous airport in the Philippines. I asked them how they knew whom to look for? My father in law laughed, saying recognizing me was easy from Robbie?s detailed description, He told them to look out for a petite, young blonde carrying an abundance of luggage. Laughing together over a few more brief conversations of getting to know each other bet er they seemed relieved to ?nally meet me compared how stressed she sounded in the conversations I overheard Robbie having with her while in Thailand. Watching the arrivals board I knew Robbie?s plane had landed ages ago but wasjust waiting for him to get out of customs. It didn?t bother me anyhow, I was enjoying get accompanied with his parents for the ?rst time. Eventually I saw my husband walking down the runway behind the gates, I just couldn?t wait a second longer. ducked undemeath the gates and ran all the way up the runway to jump excitedly into his arms. I wrapped my arms and legs around him holding onto him for dear life. I just missed him so much I knew I would never let him go, theoretically speaking that is, and I never have nearly a decade later. Chapter 24 Over the near decade we spent together, Robbie and I have shared the common highs and lows that every determined marriage endures. It has 135 El Copyright I?rulecled Mnlerial CONFIDENTIAL taken a lot of hard work and doesn?t come without its flaws but no matter what it is just perfect for the two of us. He helped me how to remember to smile again and life has slowly began to sort itself out, They say that time heals all wounds but what I had experienced in my young years wasn?t nearly long enough to let all of the hurt go. Seeking help through many counselors and was doing everything I could do to deal with the scars and all of the pain left behind. Completely off of any pharmaceuticals, since the last day of our honeymoon, and healing my heart with love instead of hate our marriage is my foundation and Robbie is my solid rock. We have to be for one another, putting the bonds of our union through the wringers and back, as neither of us expected my past life eventually to come back and haunt me after so long. Our blissful life came to a sudden halt one day when we were out visiting my in-laws at their nearby house on just another plain afternoon. There was a knock on the front door and my father in law got up from watching TV on the couch to answer it. He rushed back quickly coming into the dining room, where was feeding my nineteen months and ?ve month old boys at the table, and he blurted out, ?Jenna there are three police of?cer?s at the door asking for you by the name of Virginia Roberts!? I asked my mother in law to stay with the babies to ?nd out what this was all about. I didn?t even think it had anything to do with Jeffrey at ?rst and wasn?t even worried when I opened the door to offer them to come inside to talk. They weren?t actually police of?cers and two federal agents of Australia with one .B.I agent from America. The American agent asked ifI wouldn?t mind actually coming outside so that I may speak with them in private. ?Okay? I said, as well as mentally preparing myself for something big from the look of it, it?s not over a parking ticket or anything small that you get three federal agents knocking at your in?laws front door asking to speak in private. ?Can we ?rst ask you if you are in fact Ms. Virginia Roberts and originally from Palm Beach County in the United States?? I con?rmed my name and previous state of residence then they even asked, ?May we see some identi?cation please?? A different agent asked the question this time and I told him will have to go and grab it, my purse is inside. I?lljust be one second.? Robbie was standin on the other side of the door trying to ?gure out what they were doing here talking to me and when I rushed through it to grab my purse and saw him standing there looking puzzled, I told him I had no idea what this was about yet, but not too worry everything was going too be just ?ne. Taking a deep breath and slowly exhaling outwards, I opened the door to ?nd out exactly what the agents wanted to talk about. 136 El Copyright I?rulecled Mnlerial CONFIDENTIAL Pulling out my Australian drivers license from my wallet, I was going to hand it over to them but they were sufficed at a quick glance. There was no meet and greet, they went straight to the point. One agent picked up a briefcase off the porch ?oor and opened it up taking out a stapled stack of paper. Then that same agent asked me ifI had ever known an af?liate by the name of Mr. Jeffrey Epstein. All of the sudden my stomach tangled in a familiar knot that hadn?t felt in many years from a past life that I was trying to forget about. I nodded in affirmation of their question and said ?It was a long time ago and he?s no longer an affiliate of mine, but yes, I did know him once.? It was shameful enough to think about let alone talk about with them for the ?rst time since I had started my entire life over. His next response left me nothing short of speechless. The United States Attorney?s Office for the district of Florida was giving me a noti?cation of being an identified victim. Jeffrey was ?nally caught for his atrocious acts of perversion on girls who were barely old enough to even comprehend ?the birds and the bees? so to speak. On June 30th 2008, Jeffrey Epstein pleaded guilty for procurement of minors to engage in and solicitation of prostitution. More than a dozen girls had been named as victims of effrey?s federal offense?s and without ever stepping a day in court he was granted a plea bargain consenting to charges that named him a registered pedophile for only two ofthe minor girls. Getting away with even serving only twelve of the sentenced eighteen months behind bars be that in the evening alone and in the morning he was released during the day. Restricted to the con?nement of his lavish mansion in Palm Beach only to be with his original sex slaves from over ten years ago, Nadia Marcinkova and Sarah Kellen, and knowing Jeffrey all too well, they wouldn?t be the only ones there while he was pulling his iaughing stint of retribution. Even at nighttime the girls were still allowed to visit him, accounting to nearly seventy times while serving his time in incarceration. No justice had been served for any ofus victims. Denied the very constitutional rights allegedly there to protect and serve us. We weren ?t allowed to have a voice in front of a jury and judge or even informed for that matter. instead we were handed this noti?cation of being a victim but told we were all too late to do anything about. To make matters worse part of that plea bargain was that we had the option to sue him with the lawyers he provided for us, and conveniently enough I found out later they were also his lawyer?s old friends from the college days. I feit my knees go weak and the anxiety churning in my stomach was now making me feel sick. Taking the bundie of paperwork from the agent who was now handing it to over me, I had to excuse myself before my legs actually buckled. Closing the door behind me I couldn?t even ?nd the words to tell my husband what was going on. I rushed to the back of 137 El Copyright l?rulecled Mnlerial CONFIDENTIAL the house and went out to the back yard where I wanted a minute to compose myself and process the information I had just been told. Robbie followed behind me but the stillness in my eyes convinced him to give me that moment to compile my emotions. A few moments later and I was ready to talk. Collapsing into his arms with such anguish, he just held me until my sobs subsided and was able to tell him what actually happened. Starting with an apology, I began to tell him how I was so sorry but my troubled past has come back to plague our simply sweet lives and was just about to turn it all upside down. He was so understanding from the beginning of alt this, telling me that he will always be behind every choice that I make in mending the sorrows of my tormenting past and there he has been through all of the thick and thins. Deciding to call the lawyers on the victim suit provided for me was a big decision but one I had to do to seek the unanswered questions from my battered heart. The two women at the ?rm that I spoke to treated me so wonderfully, like long term friends they counseled me not only in the terms ofa lawsuit towards Jeffrey but also in the matters ofbeing emotionally and sexually abused. chose to proceed with the lawsuit at least to make a statement to a man that tried to make a degrading statement about me so long ago. Now it was my turn, I had the choice to turn the tables on him hoping he wouid feel embarrassed and in the spotlight for everyone?s entertainment where he had kept me for so many years. inning my lawsuit against him was not enough to heal old wounds, never got the chance to stand up in front ofajury and tell them how much pain I had endured and still endure throughout the many nightmares I face when darkness hits and the silence of the sleeping household fills my head with pictures of reliving my past with him or the others he sent me too. Or did I even get to hear him confess his guilt and suffer the way I did Iocked in confinement for many years? No, instead I got to see a picture of Jeffrey with his arms around a very youthful looking teenager, if even that, parading the streets of New York, the very way he had with me and so many other girls long before. As if it were a public display intended for not only his many victims to see but also a spectacie for the publicjustice system, it was bold show of insoience laughing in our faces while we all sat by not being abie to do anything to help these young girls from the streets still suffering his perverted afflictions. Not much longer there was another story on Jeffrey I saw in the papers of him and Prince Andrew having a stroll together in Central Park. It instantly sparked my concerns for other girls in the very same position I was in so long ago and he was obviously up to the same old tricks, I had to do something now. Not being able to sit by any longer 138 El Copyright l?rulecled Mnleriul CONFIDENTIAL with the knowledge of being able to help out in some way. i had to tell my story no matter how shameful it was to even speak about. Putting my shame aside I had to derive every bit of courage I could sustain and now I am ready to tell it. The hardest lesson I had failed at learning until later on in my life became my strength, the beliefin my inner voice and the ability to speak up. I do have a voice and now the world is going to hear it in my whispered cries forjustice. Swept away by a surge of media with one phone call I sent Jeffrey?s publicist into frenzy. Not to mention the release of the photos showing the ?rst night that Prince Andrew and I shared together that I so happened to unveil for the public to see. I spent too much of my life going out of my mind waiting for the rescue that never came until it was too late and then the scars were already imbedded deeply within. Thankfully I am now free from the struggles that nearly destroyed the love inside of my heart. I only wish it could be the same for the other victims, not just of Jeffrey?s inflictions but every person who has ever suffered at the hands of another. I?m here to tell you from my own experience that the moon is yours if that?s what you want, all you have to do is stand up and take it. If some girl off the streets of Florida, like me, can stand up against the tyrants that run the deep pockets of our world, than anyone can. Just like I needed to believe that someone stood up for me once like Robbie did long ago, I now stand girls, the ones who are still on the streets and think they don?t deserve better or it?s an unachievable dream to be entitled to more out of life. For all of the beautiful girls who don?t see beyond they?re outside appearance. For all the girls still trapped in enslavement and unable to get out of the abuse that holds them down. But most of all, I stand up for every girls beliefin love, because it is the very savior of my spirit and soul. The End Written and Illustrated by Virginia Roberts 139 140 El Copyright l?rulecled Mulerial El Copyright l?ruleeled Muleriul CONFIDENTIAL 141 El Copyrighl l?rulculcd Malariul CONFIDENTIAL